First Pastorate--Need Advice

Discussion in 'Pastoral Ministries' started by Sea Level Baptist, Dec 8, 2010.

  1. Sea Level Baptist

    Sea Level Baptist
    Expand Collapse
    New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 2, 2010
    Messages:
    5
    Likes Received:
    0
    I have been burdened about the near epidemic trend of couples living together outside of marriage. We have many such couples in my area (mainly 20-somethings) who have little to nothing to do with church until they desire to use our facilities for baby showers, wedding showers, house-warming showers, etc. I have talked to at least one other pastor about this and he basically says he allows such functions in order to keep the lines of communication open with such couples. However, he balks at the notion of homosexual couples desiring to use church facilities in like manner (as do I). My point is this: sin is sin...shouldn't we take as firm a stand against heterosexual sin as we do homosexual? I've proposed to my church that we prohibit such functions in our church in both cases. I have received opposition from a very vocal minority of our congregation, but most have been supportive. Am I doing more harm than good?
     
  2. webdog

    webdog
    Expand Collapse
    Active Member

    Joined:
    Mar 31, 2005
    Messages:
    24,691
    Likes Received:
    0
    Welcome to the BB!

    You sure started off with a real softball :D

    The church should take a stand against ANY sin, period. I wouldn't agree with your pastor friend in allowing these things to take place in the facility.
     
  3. Steven2006

    Steven2006
    Expand Collapse
    New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2006
    Messages:
    2,065
    Likes Received:
    0
    While I agree with your position. I am not certain I agree with you going to the church members against your pastor. What is your position in the church? What steps were taken before your doing so?

    I am not saying for certain I do disagree, but I have questions.
     
    #3 Steven2006, Dec 8, 2010
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 8, 2010
  4. Sea Level Baptist

    Sea Level Baptist
    Expand Collapse
    New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 2, 2010
    Messages:
    5
    Likes Received:
    0

    I am the pastor. Sorry I didn't make that very clear in my original post. The pastor I spoke to was from another church.
     
  5. matt wade

    matt wade
    Expand Collapse
    Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 6, 2009
    Messages:
    6,156
    Likes Received:
    76
    I agree with webdog. Take a stand against all sin.

    Personally, I wouldn't have events like you speak of except for church members. That should, hopefully, cut out a lot of the problems.
     
  6. Steven2006

    Steven2006
    Expand Collapse
    New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2006
    Messages:
    2,065
    Likes Received:
    0
    Oh, I am sorry I completely misunderstood your post.

    I am not a pastor so I am not qualified to answer your question then.
     
  7. webdog

    webdog
    Expand Collapse
    Active Member

    Joined:
    Mar 31, 2005
    Messages:
    24,691
    Likes Received:
    0
    Oops, just realized this was in the pastoral forum (I posted on this from "new posts"). I'm not a pastor either, and while I may not be "technically" qualified, I do believe my position is one supported by Scripture
     
  8. Steven2006

    Steven2006
    Expand Collapse
    New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2006
    Messages:
    2,065
    Likes Received:
    0
    That is what I did also.
     
  9. th1bill

    th1bill
    Expand Collapse
    Member

    Joined:
    Sep 20, 2009
    Messages:
    911
    Likes Received:
    12
    First, let me clarify, my ministry is a web ministry and as such I have always taught that Marriage, scripturally, begins at coupling. You can begin the study of this at Issac going into Rebecka in his mothers tent and marrying her, right there, as they coupled and work from that point.

    It is and always has been that if a man or a woman that is lost and unable to reconcile this single point of fact has no business in a Christian Assembly. While the church needs to reach out to these people, allowing them to hold pagan rituals there is not Christian! Some will argue that it is just a Baby Shower but the truth of the matter is, "Does it honor God? Are the principals worshiping God or have they refused His Lordship?" If the answer to both is not yes... the shower needs to be held elsewhere.
     
  10. Deacon

    Deacon
    Expand Collapse
    Well-Known Member
    Supporter

    Joined:
    Aug 23, 2002
    Messages:
    6,972
    Likes Received:
    129
    So what are the approved sins that people can do and still be allowed to use the church?

    The way I see it your choice depends upon what you want to use your church for.
    Is it a sanctuary? Then outsiders might not be welcome
    Is it a community center, then you might welcome outsiders as a witness.
    As young couples marry and have children they may choose to attend a church.

    We welcome groups to our church but certain have rules of conduct.

    Rob
     
  11. annsni

    annsni
    Expand Collapse
    Administrator
    Administrator

    Joined:
    May 30, 2006
    Messages:
    20,196
    Likes Received:
    374
    At our church, those kinds of events can only be held for members and their family so we wouldn't have as big an issue as you might have. Possibly come up with a rule about the use of your facility so that you can "weed out" these sorts of issues. Our church isn't a "hall for hire". Those are at the local lodges and stuff. We're a church and in the business of churchy things. :) So showers and such are only offered to those in our church.
     
  12. webdog

    webdog
    Expand Collapse
    Active Member

    Joined:
    Mar 31, 2005
    Messages:
    24,691
    Likes Received:
    0
    Same in our church. There have been members who have done showers for single mothers in their homes, and I don't have a problem with that. What's done is done, and there are still needs to be met.
     
  13. abcgrad94

    abcgrad94
    Expand Collapse
    Active Member

    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2007
    Messages:
    5,533
    Likes Received:
    0
    Welcome, SLB. Some things to consider:
    Does your church have a written policy on the use of the facilities? If not, the leaders should agree to write one. That way, when questions or complaints arise, it's right there in black and white. Our church has a policy that we do not rent the building out to other groups--period. For baby showers, etc. the building can be used if the person is kin to a church member or is considered part of our church's extended family. For example, my husband let a sister church come use our baptistry since they did not have one.

    Also, I don't know how long you've been there, but I think you said this is your first pastorate. It's hard at first, making tough decisions and then dealing with the grumpy, but very vocal, minority who resist all efforts of change. I think the thing to remember is that the church should honor the Lord with use of the facilities, whether that offends people or not.
     
  14. annsni

    annsni
    Expand Collapse
    Administrator
    Administrator

    Joined:
    May 30, 2006
    Messages:
    20,196
    Likes Received:
    374
    That's usually what's done at our church as well - although we've had a few cases of single moms having their shower at church but usually the family wishes to keep it small and the rooms at church are much larger and less "intimate" than a home would be.
     
  15. RevGKG

    RevGKG
    Expand Collapse
    New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2006
    Messages:
    186
    Likes Received:
    0
    How do you come up with pagan rituals???
     
  16. RevGKG

    RevGKG
    Expand Collapse
    New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2006
    Messages:
    186
    Likes Received:
    0
    I agree. We have written procedures for use by church members and written procedures for use by non church members. In our community (a rural farming community) opening our doors has proven to be a great outreach opportunity for us.
     
  17. Salty

    Salty
    Expand Collapse
    20,000 Posts Club
    Moderator

    Joined:
    Apr 8, 2003
    Messages:
    22,127
    Likes Received:
    221
    Just this past week a young lady stood up and praised the Lord for allowing her to get pregnant again. She has had 2 previous miscarriages. But the other day, the DR stated that her current pregnancy is developing correctly. I'm just wondering if her boyfriend is going to marry her?
     
  18. annsni

    annsni
    Expand Collapse
    Administrator
    Administrator

    Joined:
    May 30, 2006
    Messages:
    20,196
    Likes Received:
    374
    Lovely. :tear:
     
  19. Salty

    Salty
    Expand Collapse
    20,000 Posts Club
    Moderator

    Joined:
    Apr 8, 2003
    Messages:
    22,127
    Likes Received:
    221
    Not only that, but the mom ( a church member) is extremely exicted.
     
  20. annsni

    annsni
    Expand Collapse
    Administrator
    Administrator

    Joined:
    May 30, 2006
    Messages:
    20,196
    Likes Received:
    374
    I see some counseling needed in there. And prayers for you. Good golly!
     

Share This Page

Loading...