For Pastors, How Do You Treat Requests for Second Marriages

Discussion in 'General Baptist Discussions' started by saturneptune, May 14, 2010.

  1. saturneptune

    saturneptune
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    Aside from the qualification for pastors in regard to divorce and remarriage, one of the toughest challenges a pastor faces is the decision about marrying people going into second marriages. I have known some pastors that had a blanket rule, no second marriages. To me, this seems to be the wrong approach. The other approach requires treating each case individually. It takes seeking the will of the Lord, common sense, the characters of each of the partners and their part in the breakdown of the first marriage, and of course, maturity and growth if they were the fault. It is a judgement call, one that I am glad I do not have to make.
     
  2. annsni

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    The first wedding that my husband performed was a second marriage. The groom and his ex-wife divorced a number of years before - before he was saved. She remarried so there was no reconciling there. The bride was abused and then abandoned by her husband - she actually has no idea where he is. He left her, she eventually was able to file for divorce in Brazil where they came from. She hasn't seen him in over 20 years and he never tried to contact his daughter. My husband performed their wedding 2.5 years ago. He just performed the man's funeral 3 weeks ago. His wife took wonderful care of him during the last months he had in his battle with cancer. They were a wonderful couple.
     
  3. sag38

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    I judge each situation individually.
     
  4. Cutter

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    Ditto.. and I have married those that have been married before.
     
  5. righteousdude2

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    No Problem in My Camp, Either!

    Like those before me... I have no problem doing weddings for those who are coming out of a failed marriage. The only weddings I've turned down are between a believer and a non-believer.
     
  6. HankD

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    It is also a lawful ordination of the government.

    At very least (IMO), depending upon the conscience of the minister, it should/could be done for the benefit of the legal protection afforded the partners (male-female) and subsequent children.

    HankD
     
  7. saturneptune

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    Oh really, and just how many times have you been married?



    [​IMG]
     
  8. Cutter

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    Once, and why do you ask, my fine astronomical friend?
     
  9. saturneptune

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    Well, you said you had married those who had once been married. Those is plural. We speak and teach English in Kentucky.
     
  10. Cutter

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    Touche...point taken. There are also two in a marriage, therefore it could also mean that they both had been married previously, or that I had performed more than one marriage that had a bride or groom that had been married before. :smilewinkgrin:
     
    #10 Cutter, May 15, 2010
    Last edited by a moderator: May 15, 2010
  11. Salty

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    Don't think so. If you were to go to England, I'm sure you would have at least some difficulty in communicating with the local population.

    I contend here in the USA, we speak American!

    Salty
     
  12. saturneptune

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    I cannot argue with that.
     
  13. JohnDeereFan

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    It depends. If the divorce was Biblical, then I have no problem marrying them. If not, then I won't marry them.
     
  14. Dr. Bob

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    I do a good number of weddings (just came home and stripped off my black clergy outfit from a 2 pm wedding) and many are to people with all sorts of "baggage".

    Most are folks who've lived together and finally making it legal. Some divorces, some 3rd or 4th marriages. Did a third marriage at New Years - older couple in assisted living after had lost previous mates and it was a joyful time.

    I will marry two unsaved folk or two saved folk, but never "mixed". Marriage, in apposition (not opposition) to "shacking up", is a great benefit to society, to children, to the community, etc.

    When we do counseling with the couple, we delve into the six leading causes of marital break-up. If one or both are divorced, I have them explain what "happened" in previous marriages. Leads to great introspection.
     
  15. SBCPreacher

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    I've found that far too many that I marry are, well, less than honest about that, along with other things too.
     
  16. JohnDeereFan

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    True, but sometimes the best we can do is to make a good faith effort to do our due diligence (and any other cliches you want to throw in there).

    Our church has only been around for three years and has only had two weddings, so a lot this is still theoretical for us, but we require a great deal of pre-marriage counseling and mentoring before we'll marry them.

    So we haven't had any such issues yet, but you're right. It would be very easy to lie about it.
     
  17. TomVols

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    I ditto your ditto :laugh:
     
  18. tinytim

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    Individual case.
     

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