Free ordination papers

Discussion in 'Pastoral Ministries' started by SaggyWoman, Sep 22, 2007.

  1. SaggyWoman

    SaggyWoman
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    I was flippantly seeing what was online for ordination papers, and found one for free. There was a section, though, of the ad that read:

    For a small love offering of only $19.50, you will receive Ordination and a beautiful MINISTERIAL CERTIFICATE. Order Now and we will also rush you FREE our finest quality MINISTERIAL WALLET LICENSE! Both will have your name imprinted and bear the official Church "Gold Seal". Our Credentials are legally recognized by all Government agencies.



    roflol:laugh:
     
  2. PastorSBC1303

    PastorSBC1303
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    Amazing stuff...

    You get what you pay for.
     
  3. tinytim

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    It should go on to read...


    "That's right folks, act now, and we will throw in a free membership to Baptistboard!!!! all for the low, low price of $19.50!!!

    But wait!!! That's not all...
    Want to really impress your parishoners? If you act within the next 25 minutes.. we will also give you a free Joel Osteen mask!!!
    That way, when you don't feel like smiling, you just slip on the mask...

    And KABOOM! you have a permanent smile!"


    That's what I would have written anyway!! lol
     
  4. TaterTot

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    Saggy, lets get ordained :eek:
     
  5. SaggyWoman

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    hehehehhe. Let's take up a love offering for their love offering and get erdained!!!!!
     
  6. SaggyWoman

    SaggyWoman
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    Hey, TaterTot, Do you agree to this:

    To apply for ordination into the ministry you must first agree with these beliefs.
    [​IMG]
    You believe in Jesus Christ our Savior.
    [​IMG][FONT=Trebuchet MS, Arial, Helvetica]
    You agree to spread the word of Christianity in your own way.[/FONT]​
    [​IMG][FONT=Trebuchet MS, Arial, Helvetica]
    Your actions and beliefs should not conflict with common decency.[/FONT]​
    [​IMG][FONT=Trebuchet MS, Arial, Helvetica]We are all free to do as we will, as long as it does not harm or infringe on the rights and freedoms of others.[/FONT]
    [FONT=Trebuchet MS, Arial, Helvetica]
    If you agree to all of the above and
    wish to be ordained into the ministry fill in the form below and
    order one of the minister startup packages below.


    If so, you can be ordained!
    [/FONT]
     
  7. standingfirminChrist

    standingfirminChrist
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    There is a Church in Mansfield, Ohio that sent me Ordination Certificate... after I had been ordainded through another denomination.

    Their reasoning? My ordination would not allow me to officiate at weddings or funerals in any state but the one I was ordained in. LOL

    My real ordination was after much study, proving of by the presbyter, and laying on of hands by the presbyter.

    The second?? No proving, no laying on of hands. I reckon you understand why I don't use the one from Mansfield.

    OH, btw, my original ordination does allow officiating in any state as long as I fill out permits at the courthouse first. Open Door tried to argue that I could not, but neighboring state told me as long as I brought my ministerial card that came with the Certificate from the fellowship where I was proved, there would be no problems.

    Reckon Open Door was just trying to get into my meager finances?
     
  8. exscentric

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    " hehehehhe. Let's take up a love offering for their love offering and get erdained!!!!!" Or in the case of Tim "nerdained" per his own admission in another thread. :laugh:

    I'm really honestly hurt. I went through that long drawn out process of ordination and didn't get a billfold card. Should have shopped around - dumby me, you never do anything right, stupid man you ..............
     
  9. Deacon

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    To my knowledge, Pennsylvania is the first state to restrict "mail-order" ordination [LINK].

    Rob
     
  10. tinytim

    tinytim
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    I have an address to send money to the Saggy Tatertot Online Ordination Love offering: (STOOL for short) Just PM me..


    Maybe after Saggy and Tatertot become ordained they can set you straight!
     
  11. TaterTot

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    lol

    I think it might be better stated as:

    The Online Ordination for Tater and Saggy (TOOTS)
     
  12. SaggyWoman

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    I don't want them to think we are giving money to the toilet fund.
     
  13. TCGreek

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    What does this say about the one who seeks such ordination?
     
  14. standingfirminChrist

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    that such an one is not interested in studying to make one's self approved unto God,

    As in the book of Judges, such an one appears to have no king and does what is right in one's own eyes.
     
  15. John of Japan

    John of Japan
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    This is really limiting. What if I want to spread the word in someone else's way? My own ordination certificate doesn't limit me to just my own way. :tongue3: :smilewinkgrin:
     
  16. Bible Believing Bill

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    Does that make Tater and Saggy a couple of Tootsies, which is probably better than being a couple of Stoolies.


    Bill
     
  17. LeBuick

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    I'm sure they'll make originality exceptions for a small fee...
     
  18. LeBuick

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    Sounds like a "flush" fund to me...
     
  19. ichthys

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    As long as that ordination can make you some cash or get you some standing in society, that's all that matters! :BangHead:

    I did see a Universal Life Church ordination mentioned on a church's website the other day. I think that grrrl or guy, whichever it was, might have also had the TOOTS certification too. :thumbs:
     
  20. SaggyWoman

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    Get this::::


    YOU HAVE NOW BEEN ORDAINED!
    A RECORD WILL BE KEPT AT OUR HEADQUARTERS


    roflol!!!

    I am laughing so hard, I am crying!!!​
     

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