A local newspaper decided to run a "Funniest Pun" contest, allowing their readers to send in puns which would then be voted on. The prize was a new bicycle. Contestants were allowed to submit up to ten puns each for this contest. A young boy decided to hedge his bets and submit the full count of ten. He was hoping that at least one of his puns would reach the finals, but unfortunately, no pun in ten did. ********* A local monastery decided to renovate, and to do so they needed to raise money. So they opened a florist shop on the busiest street in town. Because they were raising money to repair the monastery, most folks thought it good to help them out...most folks except the local florist union. They took turns pleading with the friars to close their shop, claiming that they were running them out of business. The friars declined, saying that they had to repair the monastery. One florist even sent his mother to plead his case, but the friars would have none of it. One night as the florist union was commiserating in a local pub, in walked Hugh MacTavish, the toughest brawler in town. One of the florists decided to beg MacTavish's help in shutting down the friars, thinking that he would just threaten them a little bit. Instead, by the next morning the friar's flower shop was torn to shreds. Every window was broken, all the flowers had been ripped up to stepped on. The friars regrettably closed their shop. Which goes to prove that Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars. *********** Gandhi walked barefoot everywhere he went, leading to a lifetime of very rough feet. His diet was not great, leaving him quite skinny and frail. He was a very spiritual man, all things considered. The poor conditions of his homeland meant that most people, himself included, lacked proper dental care, leading to bad breath. You could actually say Gandhi was a super calloused fragile mystic, plagued with halitosis.