Fundamentally dealing with suicide threats

Discussion in 'Fundamental Baptist Forum' started by Salamander, Oct 31, 2008.

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  1. Salamander

    Salamander
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    I in no way want this to become a discussion about any particular situation at hand.

    I have had some personal experience, and personally dealt with a few that were suicidal, and I do mean SUICIDAL!

    One person is a very close friend of mine who did attempt it. He even called me to tell me a few days afterwards, thanking me for some things I had said that caused him to call 911 and get help. Thankful it was before what he'd done that would have ended his life if he hadn't called 911.

    I'm asking for fundamentals that deal with the situation.

    I do not claim to be a "professional", but from experience a "head-on" confrontation has helped tremendously, even in my own situation many years ago.

    By all means the person should know we care, but they already "know" people "care". They should be confronted with the latter implications of their intended actions.

    I'm certain many of us will agree on this, although this IS a debate forum!

    :godisgood: ( and the rest of us need His goodness)
     
  2. Jim1999

    Jim1999
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    Over my years, I found three things that are essential:

    1. Get the person to seek medical advice. There may be underlying medical reasons.

    2. Pray with the person, expressing God love to us.

    3. Befriend the person and be prepared to spend time with them. Don't probe their minds for the cause, but patiently wait for them to gain your confidence and then let them relate the problems to you.

    Cheers,

    Jim
     
  3. I Am Blessed 24

    I Am Blessed 24
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    Great advice, Jim!

    Only in an emergency should the 'Suicide Hotline' be called.
     
  4. abcgrad94

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    I disagree with you here, Salamander. I have been suicidal before and the WORST thing in the world was finally going to someone for help who wanted to tell me how awful I was for feeling the way I did. At least, in my state of mind, that's exactly how it came across. And no, I felt that NOBODY truly cared or understood. I didn't need confrontation at this point. I needed LOVE.

    The best thing to do is LISTEN. Close your mouth about what you think they need to do, and just listen. I cannot stress this enough. Many times suicidal folks have kept things bottled inside for years and those things have to have an outlet somewhere. Just listen. They might say things you disagree with, they might curse, they might even say they are mad at God or worse. Just listen. Let them pour out their heart without condemnation. If you have to speak at all, tell them how much you care about them and that you would like to pray with them.

    Sometimes we think we are helping people by shoving the truth down their throat, when we just need to listen and let the Holy Spirit do his job without our help. Just listen and pray.

    Let the licensed professional councellors do the rest of the talking.
     
  5. annsni

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    One thing I've learned in all of my years:

    If someone else is dealing with a serious situation, don't try to step in to do their job. Allow them to do what they need to do without interferance.
     
  6. Salamander

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    No one ever said they were awful for feeling that way. They do need to undestand they are never alone in their intentions.
    Tough love is what we all need.

    Don't think I'm not being compassionate, but all aspects need to be addressed eventually. I never said they needed to be confronted right up front. Although the expediency of the situation needs to incorporate that fact.

    What I've found out is they usualy don't speak out, the very serious ones hardly ever do speak out.

    I have never shoved anything down anyone's throat and do not suggest what you call that.

    Most assuredly the ones who do speak out are those who need to face some facts.

    Exposing the underlying results if they did go through with it helps to bring out the things that need to be addressed.

    I agree in listening, but the hardest thing to do can be to get them talking. You're right in they tend to keep things bottled up. This was my case many years ago and it took me by surprise that some one would speak out knowing nothing about my intentions to this effect, "Y'know, it sure is stupid to kill yourself!"

    Yes, I can say the L:eek:rd used this to prevent me from doing something really "stupid". This came out of the mouth of a 12 year old girl I cannot say if I ever even knew her.

    Licenses tend to be handed out prematurely and an arrogance seems to go along with the plaque on the wall.

    A person who has been through it can help the most.

    It seems to best understand what some one else is going through is to have been there yourself.

    I believe we agree more than we realize and thank you, for your input.:thumbs:
     
  7. Salamander

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    You seem to be making specific reference here and I'll have to ask you not to do that, please.

    Just one thing on that note and this should make it a closed discussion about THAT situation: It wasn't until some one confronted the situation did a response emerge.:godisgood:

    My experience has helped some and I do not believe my experience will help everyone who comes to this side of life, but it never hurts to offer something that has helped others.
     
  8. stilllearning

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    Great post Salamander:

    And great advice abcgrad94:
    --------------------------------------------------
    My view of suicide, is that it shows a “short-sightedness”:

    People have problems, that seem so big, that they can’t see past them.
    --------------------------------------------------
    When abcgrad94 said.........
    I would think, that it might be better to remind them of the hole that will be left, when they go, and how it will effect all those that care about them.



    Remember, I am still learning:
    (So please correct me.)
     
  9. Dale-c

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    I think I can sum up the solution in one word.
    Of course this one word is a pretty powerful one.

    Gospel.
    Yep The Gospel is the answer.

    Is the threat of suicide sin? Yes.
    Is the threat of suicide selfish? Yes
    Does it disregard God's sovereignty? Yes
    Does it violate the image of God? Yes
    Does Christ's blood cover ALL of these sins? Yes!

    This is the answer, not secular counseling.

    I believe both the honesty about the sinfulness of the situation and the compassion and the love of Christ are both needed.
     
  10. abcgrad94

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    Yes, I agree. It should be done in a caring way, by letting the person know you would be hurt if they were gone.

    By the way, Dale, I should have mentioned to let CHRISTIAN counsellors do the talking.
     
  11. sag38

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    This post is not directed at any previous comments or posts. It's just an observation. Most contemplating suicide are mentally ill. They are incapable of thinking clearly or rationally. How did they get in this condition? That is up for debate. But, to place all the blame on those suffering from this illness is showing an incredible lack of compassion and understanding. Until you have been there yourself be careful how you judge. All I know is this. In 1972 God had mercy on me and saved me from a sinner's hell. He is my hope and strength. And, I pray that I never become so mentally deprived that I would ever contemplate taking my own life. And, if I do may His grace shine on me covering over the lies that my sick mind, Satan, and the world are feeding me. May there be Godly people surrounding me who can help me, embrace me, and if needed, restrain my hand until I can, once again, think clearly and rationally. May the power of God's word, that's in my mind, reign over the darkness.
     
  12. Salamander

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    Would it be understood that you believe that some one who commits suicide then isn't saved?
     
  13. Salamander

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    The only downside of letting the person know it would hurt those that care about them is this: sometimes it is that bitterness towards those persons that he wants to hurt by a getting back at them in this action.

    All true Christian counsellors try to establish first if the person is saved. An up-front discussion of their walk with God offers something to view concerning their situation.

    It's that too many people feel as if they have distanced God so far away from them they cannot reach Him on thier own. Others feel as if God doesn't want to hear from them. Both of these are in direct conflict to the word of God.

    True our sins have separated us from God, but not the love of God!

    The Lord is the one who all of us have to approach about our sin to have His listening ear. His listening is on condition of our contrition.

    The Lord has NEVER turned anyone away that had an earnest desire for understanding!:godisgood:
     
  14. Salamander

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    I appreciate your input and I firmly believe that everyone here has ultimately placed any blame on the devil for afflictions that might bring a person down to even consider taking their life in their own hands.

    Remember:godisgood:
     
  15. Dale-c

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    Not necessarily.
    They may or may not be saved.
    But I believe you and I have a different view on what exactly the gospel is.
    It is not just for the unbeliever, but it is also the hope of the believer as well.

    I do absolutely agree that the salvation of the person needs to be dealt with immediately.

    Even for those of us who are Christians, we still need to be reminded of the gospel on a regular basis.
     
  16. stilllearning

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    Hi sag38

    You said.........
    I don’t think that this is the case.
    Today’s psychiatric practitioners, will quickly label someone “mentally ill”, if they even attempt suicide, but the truly crazy ones, almost always succeeded.

    Most of the time, I think it is simply being confused and overwhelmed, by a situation.

    But I could be wrong.
     
  17. Salamander

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    And where do we disagree then?:laugh:

    I agree, except to the point when some one may be a little weak in faith and then some preacher try to get everybody saved all over again!

    My preaching is to get others to realize the need for salvation, then that they being saved is eternally secure. It is Blessed Hope that cannot be seen with anything but faith.

    One should be told even though they are sure they are saved, that suicide will have ramifications at The Judgement Seat causing a very uncomforatble experience that would have been avoided if they had just let Jesus bring them through their trying time.

    Can you imagine the Lord shedding tears during this time for each individual that took grace for granted?

    I have a message entitled "Abusing God's Amazing Grace". It brought a very close friend of mine to tears as I preached it for the first time on public radio in the broadcast room.

    He could be heard by all the listeners, some even called in to ask who it was crying in the background.

    Before I could finish the message, he was heard rejoicing in the forgiveness found according to God's grace even though we had abuised our privilege!

    I want those who read this thread to get help and to be able to help.

    There is help for those who are hurting, especially for those who are hurt to the point of "ending it all".

    What has helped me through many situations is the fact that this life is only temporal and the eternal life is nothing but BLISS!

    Although I desire to be there, the Lord has other things in mind. Why? There's others who need to get to know Him and more about Him!

    Jesus is the Acacia tree; there is a Balm in Gilead!:godisgood:
     
  18. Salamander

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    Nope, you're right.

    A preacher friend of mine "succeeded":tear: , he was in no way mentally ill.

    He had recently had his medication changed that dealt with a chemical imbalance in his brain.

    This man had preached for many years and led many,many souls to Christ.

    He just got weak and satan took advantage of him.

    When we are weak, in our flesh, He then is become strong as we rely upon Him to be our strength! He is Strong! His name?:jesus:
     
  19. HeDied4U

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    Amen!! Good advice.
     
  20. sag38

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    Sal, a man who has a chemical imbalance in his brain is "mentally ill." Or do you call it something else?
     
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