funerals & weddings

Discussion in 'Pastoral Ministries' started by steveo, Jul 25, 2005.

  1. steveo

    steveo
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    I am now in my 2nd year as a pastor and have now preached 6 funerals.
    I have only done one wedding.
    I was wondering if you pastors accept money for performing funerals & weddings?
     
  2. TaterTot

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    my husband does not
     
  3. PastorSBC1303

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    I do not have a set policy. At times I have accepted money, but a lot of times I have turned it down or taken it and gave it to a ministry opportunity.
     
  4. USN2Pulpit

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    I don't ask for money...it has been given at times, to which I might reply, "it's not necessary." If I sense that I would insult by not accepting it, I'll recieve it with thanks. Sometimes grace means receiving well.
     
  5. Pastor Larry

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    I never ask for money. When someone offers it, I always tell them it is not necessary and try to give it back to them. No one has accepted yet.
     
  6. Jim1999

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    It was always my policy not to accept monies for funerals. On weddings, if one or both are members of the church, I decline any fees, but do not hesitate to charge a fee to outsiders who just seek an "official" to make it legal; a servant of the province.

    In Saskatchewan, the funeral homes charged for the ministers and were supposed to pass it on. If I received that I deposited in the church and a receipt given to the party(s) as a donation.

    I guess each situation is different.

    Cheers,

    Jim
     
  7. GODzThunder

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    I never ask for money and am quick to mention that my services are free. Yet, I have learned that when you are offered a gift you should accept. Especially for funerals. BTW don't forget that gifts and offerings are taxable income to be reported on W2/1099 ;)
     
  8. Pastor Larry

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    In many cases with people in teh church, their gifts to you for doing a funeral or wedding is not just for that occasion but for a life time of ministering to them.
     
  9. blackbird

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    I don't ask for money----if they choose to give--its OK---some give---some don't---it ain't no big deal if they do or don't.

    I always tithe and give an offering of the money I do receive---and what is left--I usually use it to purchase books for my pastoral library!!

    I don't think its a big deal if you do get something---or if you don't----shoot---one things for certain----with either one--you ain't gonna get rich by no means!!!
     
  10. j_barner2000

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    I have done 2 weddings. Both were for no-members. I met with both couples a few times and shared from resources I purchased from my own funds. They both payed me and I have used the money to purchase materials related to "Christ based, God's word honoring family planning" and "couple counselling."

    I figure it is His money to be used for His kingdom and glory.
     
  11. Johnv

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    Having been involved in planning a few family weddings and funerals, the officiant is always given an honorarium. If they decline to take it, that's mighty nice of them. But those who plan these events should always budget a stipend for the pastor.
     
  12. faithgirl46

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    I am not a Pastor, but in my humble opinion, when you do a funeral at no charge, you are obeying what Jesus said What you do for the least of these, you do for Me. With all of the costs that go along with a funeral and burial, it helps when a person isn't required to pay for a preacher.
    Faithgirl
     
  13. FBCPastorsWife

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    It has turned out the same way so far with my husband.
     
  14. TomVols

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    I tend to be far more lenient with funerals than I am with weddings. By the time you do premarital counseling, the wedding rehearsal, the wedding planning meetings, and the actual wedding, you have probably invested around 10 hours of your time. If this is for a member of my church, fine. If not, then folks need to consider that you are giving them valuable time.

    Having said that, I have yet to do what some colleagues have and prescribed set fees for non-members. Like Pastor Larry, whether funeral or wedding, I try to refuse. If they take it back, fine. But they don't, and they're offended when you ask.

    One thing that hasn't been mentioned: I've noticed many corporate chain funeral homes and one or two mom and pop shops now include a ministerial stipend in the cost of the funeral. Anyone else ran into this?
     
  15. steveo

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    Yes, the funeral homes I have been at do charge the family and then write a check to the minister.
    Steve
     
  16. faithgirl46

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    I heard that when we went to bet our headstones.I think I heard that when my grandmother as well as a family friend died.
    Faithgirl46
     
  17. Thankful

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    I didn't know that it was an option. I thought that anyone involved in the funeral service was paid as I think that they should be.

    AS far as weddings, I had heard that it is traditional to give the preacher's money to his wife. ;) Usually it is the groom that pays the preacher so I don't know about that tradition.

    All of the weddings that I have played for (except one) were for friends so I didn't charge them. I learned my lesson with "the one". She said she would pay me the day of the wedding and then she didn't have any checks left so I never received payment. So in the future, if I play for a wedding, they will pay in advance.

    I do charge for playing for funerals and my role is certainly not as important as the minister's.

    I think the preacher should be paid for doing funerals.

    A preacher has to feed and clothe his family. Some have to make house payments, pay utilities, buy a car, buy gasoline. He should be paid for his work. Just my opinion.

    Most pastors are there 24/7 for their church members. They are at the hospital when we are hospitalized. They help us through our grief when a loved one dies. They deserve any compensation that we can give them.
     
  18. Friend of God

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    I worked for a funeral home in Michigan for over 30 years, and we used to ask families when making the arrangements if they wanted us to write a check for the minister's honorarium, and most said yes. They would tell us the amount and we would write the check for them. However then the IRS started telling the ministers that they were considered as "employees" of the funeral home because they were receiving income checks from us, then the IRS would send the ministers one of the IRS forms for reporting income. After talking with several ministers that went thru this hassle, we changed our policy-quick! After that we would just tell the family about the honorarium, and that we could give their check to the minister, or they could. It saved a lot of misunderstanding.

    Rob
     
  19. Dr. Bob

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    I do 20-50 weddings a year. 70% of Wyoming's population do not have a church home and it is a great ministry (counseling, preaching, etc)

    I "suggest" a "donation" for weddings, with added expenses for travel or rehearsal. $75 for local. I have 3 pages of paperwork to fill out for the State, plus at least 1 counseling session, plus planning, plus doing the cermony. I'm cheap.

    Funerals? The funeral homes here have two price-tier funerals. They both get $$ from the family for the "package" and I get a check from the morticians. Also a thank you note and stampled envelope with the next of kin name so I can just sign my name and drop it in the mail.

    I call in the home and find out about the deceased and do the service and (rarely any more) a commital. $125-150 and classified as "love gift/honorarium" so not taxable.

    It is far easier to do funerals. As a missionary church planter, the extra income is a godsend!
     
  20. j_barner2000

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    I have found that in this community if you live in Curtisville, then you "go to" Curtisville Baptist Church. Lots of people call me pastor John and I could not name them to save my life.

    I have not yet done a funeral. I believe that a believer's funeral will be joyous and no prob. An unsaved person, is another destination and story. Worse yet would be someone I know nothing about.

    I won't ask for money, but I won't refuse either. What I receive will go to ministering to the community God has given me the priviledge to serve in His name. That policy goes for weddings or funerals
     

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