Future cultists: if you wanted to start your own cult ...

Discussion in '2003 Archive' started by Tim, Dec 28, 2003.

  1. Tim

    Tim
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    If you wanted to start your own cult, what scripture verse would you extract, elevate, and edit to use a a springboard?

    Just curious, not planning on using your ideas,

    Tim
     
  2. Dr. Bob

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    Still thinking.

    Griffinism: "Loving My Neighbor As I Love Myself"
     
  3. Travelsong

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    Why the strangest passage in all of Scripture of course:

     
  4. HankD

    HankD
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    I think this one tops the previous one...

    Or, the get-a-wife-via-kidnap cult.

    NIV Judges 21
    20 So they instructed the Benjamites, saying, "Go and hide in the vineyards
    21 and watch. When the girls of Shiloh come out to join in the dancing, then rush from the vineyards and each of you seize a wife from the girls of Shiloh and go to the land of Benjamin".
    ...
    23 So that is what the Benjamites did. While the girls were dancing, each man caught one and carried her off to be his wife. Then they returned to their inheritance and rebuilt the towns and settled in them.

    that must have been a sight to behold.

    HankD
     
  5. Tim

    Tim
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    Dr. Bob,

    I was thinking of the "saved in childbearing" verse as well. But perhaps my choice would be a phrase from Titus 1:15,

    "Unto the pure all things are pure."

    HankD,

    I must say--yours is the most interesting so far!

    Tim
     
  6. Ps104_33

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    How about some cults that are already in existence from one verse. How bout Matt 16:18
     
  7. Pastor KevinR

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    whatever pours out of my mouth would Law. If you dare question me, I'd throw in your face 1 Chr 16:22 and Ps 105:15 "Do not touch My anointed ones, and do My prophets no harm." Oops, I think some of the Faith Movement teachers have already abused this verse! :rolleyes: :eek: :rolleyes:
     
  8. Ed Edwards

    Ed Edwards
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    Don't you despise a post with no message?
     
  9. Dr. Bob

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    Griffinism. Still working on it, but LOVE Hebrews 13 and how it could be twisted . .

    Hebrews 13
    1 Let brotherly love continue. (homo/sodomy is certainly "brothers" loving)

    2 Be not forgetful to entertain strangers: for thereby some have entertained angels unawares. (touched by an angel, so open to all without evaluation)

    3 Remember them that are in bonds, as bound with them; and them which suffer adversity, as being yourselves also in the body. (willing to suffer - for Griffinism, of course)

    4 Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge. (bed undefiled; hmmm)

    5 Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee. (give away everything - to me, of course)

    6 So that we may boldly say, The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what man shall do unto me. (no fear of government, intervention, laws)

    7 Remember them which have the rule over you, who have spoken unto you the word of God: whose faith follow, considering the end of their conversation. (I have ultimate authority over every decision in your life. Check with me about vacation plans, please)

    9 Be not carried about with divers and strange doctrines. For it is a good thing that the heart be established with grace; not with meats, which have not profited them that have been occupied therein. (Don't follow ifb'ers; Vegans unite)

    10 We have an altar, whereof they have no right to eat which serve the tabernacle. (special foods - Pizza and Pepsi for communion)

    11 For the bodies of those beasts, whose blood is brought into the sanctuary by the high priest for sin, are burned without the camp. (Bar-b-q grill every Sunday!

    14 For here have we no continuing city, but we seek one to come. (sell all, meet on a hillside in Tennessee wearing white robes)

    15 By him therefore let us offer the sacrifice of praise to God continually, that is, the fruit of our lips giving thanks to his name. (as long as we use the name of Jesus it covers everything)

    16 But to do good and to communicate forget not: for with such sacrifices God is well pleased. (good works + emails are suffering for Jesus)

    17 Obey them that have the rule over you, and submit yourselves: for they watch for your souls, as they that must give account, that they may do it with joy, and not with grief: for that is unprofitable for you. (see v 7 - submit to my will and whim for your life)

    22 And I beseech you, brethren, suffer the word of exhortation: for I have written a letter unto you in few words. (you MUST follow my words - if you don't agree, you will die!)
     
  10. David Mark

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    Ah, the Griffinites.

    Here is a little Griffinite history.

    Griffinism started many years ago in a remote village on the outskirts of another remote village. Many Griffinites are attracted to the charismatic Griffinnomics of the leader they call Griffin. The most extreme Griffin fanatics are commonly referred to as: Griffinizers.

    Griffinites are not allowed to wear shoes on their left feet. They are not allowed to use spoons except on every third tuesday of the month and even then the use of spoons is highly supervised. Many spoon users have found it very difficult to fit in to the Griffinite society.

    Just kidding around, Dr. Bob. [​IMG]

    Dave
     
  11. Carolyn Dee

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    Travelsong mentioned Deuteronomy 11:25 as a suggestion (it talked about a woman taking hold of a man's "genitals"). The KJV renders that word as "secrets." Charming. :rolleyes:
     
  12. Pete

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    I dunno about a cult, but a few years ago I came up with an idea for a "God is doing something new whizz bang signs and wonders following anointing" that almost made me buy an AOG franchise to see how much money I could really make with it...

    This particular anointing causes those who receive it to run around the Church (nothing new there I know, but wait...), making circular motions with their arms and saying "Chugga-Chugga Chugga-Chugga WOOO-WOOOOO".....I call this manifestation "Train in the spirit" :rolleyes: [​IMG]

    For those weird legalists, heresy hunters, and Baptists in general that continually insist that manifestations of this kind need Biblical support, there is plenty of it to keep them quiet. For examples see Psalms 68:18 When you ascended on high, you led captives in your train....Proverbs 22:6 Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it....1 Timothy 4:7 Have nothing to do with godless myths and old wives' tales; rather, train yourself to be godly.

    See!! It's right there in black and white: train yourself to be godly. Everybody now, "Chugga-Chugga Chugga-Chugga WOOO-WOOOOO"


    I suppose I could start my own cult. I can change from A chord to E and back on guitar quite a few times without getting sore fingers. Speed it up a bit, slow it down a bit...Would be nice change of scenery playing Shout To The Lord while singing "Chugga-Chugga.." [​IMG]
     
  13. Tim

    Tim
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    Consider a Benjamite couple at a dinner party a few months after their marriage:

    "So, Hoglah, how did Jonadab and you meet?"
     
  14. Tim

    Tim
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    Ed,

    Is this some cryptic cultish message, or are you just racking up posts?

    Tim
     
  15. Travelsong

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    I prefer "naughty bits".
     

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