1. Welcome to Baptist Board, a friendly forum to discuss the Baptist Faith in a friendly surrounding.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to all the features that our community has to offer.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon and God Bless!

Games for older people

Discussion in 'Jokes & Humor (Clean)' started by SaggyWoman, Oct 3, 2008.

Top Posters
  1. SaggyWoman

    SaggyWoman Active Member

    Joined:
    Dec 15, 2000
    Messages:
    17,933
    Likes Received:
    10
    GAMES FOR WHEN WE ARE OLDER


    1. Sag, you're It.
    2. Hide and go pee.
    3. 20 questions shouted into your good ear.
    4. Kick the bucket
    5. Red Rover, Red Rover, the nurse says Bend Over.
    6. Musical recliners.
    7. Simon says something incoherent.
    8. Pin the Toupee on the bald Guy
    SIGNS OF MENOPAUSE =


    1. You sell your home heating system at a yard sale.
    2. You have to write post-it notes with your kids' names on them.
    3. You change your underwear after a sneeze.
    OLD IS WHEN:


    1. Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.
    2. You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.
    3. Getting a little action means I don't need fiber today.
    4. Getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot.
    5. An all-nighter means not getting up to Pee!


    Thoughts for the weekend:


    Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctr Alt Delete' and start all over?
    If raising children was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called labor!
    Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.
    Ponderisms


    I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that Most people die of natural causes.
    Garden Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.
    The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to Buy a replacement.
    Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

    Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?
    In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now The world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
    How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it Takes a whole box to start a campfire?
    Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out?"
    Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there? I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its butt."
     
    #1 SaggyWoman, Oct 3, 2008
  2. Dr. Bob

    Dr. Bob Administrator
    Administrator

    Joined:
    Jun 30, 2000
    Messages:
    30,285
    Likes Received:
    507
    Faith:
    Baptist
    A is for apple, and B is for boat,
    That used to be right, but now it won’t float!

    Age before beauty is what we once said,
    But let’s be a bit more realistic instead. . .

    Now, A’s for arthritis; B’s the bad back,
    C’s the chest pains, perhaps cardiac?

    D is for dental decay and decline,
    E is for eyesight, can’t read that top line!

    F is for fissures and fluid retention,
    G is for gas which I’d rather not mention.

    H is high blood pressure - I’d rather it low;
    I is for incisions with scars you can show.

    J is for joints, out of socket, won’t mend,
    K is for knees that crack when they bend.

    L is for libido, what happened to sex?
    M is for memory, I forget what comes next.

    N is neuralgia, in nerves way down low;
    O is for osteo, the bones that don’t grow!

    P is for prescriptions, I have quite a few,
    Just give me a pill and I’ll be good as new!

    Q is for queasy, is it fatal or flu?
    R is for reflux, one meal turns to two.

    S is for sleepless nights, counting my fears,
    T is for Tinnitus; there are bells in my ears!

    U is for urinary; big troubles with flow;
    V is for vertigo, that’s “dizzy,” you know.

    W is for worry, NOW what’s going ’round?
    X is for X-ray, and what might be found.

    Y is another year I’m left here behind,
    Z is for zest that I still have in my mind.

    I’ve survived all the symptoms; my body’s deployed.
    And I am keeping twenty-six doctors fully employed!
     
    #2 Dr. Bob, Oct 4, 2008
  3. Plain Old Bill

    Plain Old Bill New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 30, 2003
    Messages:
    3,657
    Likes Received:
    0
    This is the best place to come for grins. Thanks.:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
     
    #3 Plain Old Bill, Oct 5, 2008
  4. Benjamin

    Benjamin Well-Known Member
    Site Supporter

    Joined:
    Oct 6, 2004
    Messages:
    8,423
    Likes Received:
    1,160
    Faith:
    Baptist
    Pretty funny, but you guys are scaring me with these visions! :eek:
     
    #4 Benjamin, Oct 6, 2008
  5. LeBuick

    LeBuick New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 8, 2006
    Messages:
    11,537
    Likes Received:
    1
    I see said the blind man...
     
    #5 LeBuick, Oct 6, 2008
  6. SaggyWoman

    SaggyWoman Active Member

    Joined:
    Dec 15, 2000
    Messages:
    17,933
    Likes Received:
    10
    ..... to the deaf dog as the lame mute walked by.
     
    #6 SaggyWoman, Oct 6, 2008
(You must log in or sign up to post here.)
Loading...