Giving assistance from the church

I have mixed feelings about this one. Giving money or food to someone on drugs is just enabling them to be a user. I would never hand out money, because they could use it to buy drugs or alcohol.

On the other hand, they might have children who are doing without because of the parent's habit. In that case, I might offer to get food or clothing specifically for the children, but that would only be temporary. I think the best thing to do is offer to help them with rehab.

 

What criteria does scripture give for helping this family? Did Jesus tells the woman caught in adultry to stop before He would minister to her, how about the woman at the well? We aren't Jesus in that we can't forgive those sins like He did and command them to go and sin no more. I think you should attempt to help the one on drugs, and while your at it, help the kids by helping the family.
Otherwise what do we do with families who, one is comitting adultry, or is alcholoic, or is obese, or is a felon.
If they have active sin, or other addictions do we just cast them out, tell them they aren't good enough for our church? Come back when you get your life cleaned up and we'll see about helping you?
No one said you have to buy drugs for them, good grief, but a family in need is a family in need, hungry kids are hungry kids.

 

The adulterous woman's scenario is comparable to assistance to one caught up in drugs and alcohol. We certainly should help the family. It may be necessary to have child welfare look into the home situation.

Individually you do not help them. Making a decision to stay clean is not equal to "getting your life cleaned up".

 

Our church helped a lady to the tune of about $1000, plus food. We paid up all of her bills, even her back car payments and telephone bill. We did not make her feel too dirty for our church at all. We showed her love and kindness even though she continually lied to us. Unfortunately, we should have made some attemp to help her clean up her act, because all we did by helping her was let her continue her wasteful lifestyle with no accountability. To me, that is a waste of my tithe money. I feel the church should give a helping hand UP not a hand OUT. Sure, we fed her and her grandson who lived with her, but as long as they could take advantage of the church, there was no motivation to change the lifestyle.

 

Our church provides assistance with legitimate utility bills and food ONLY upon presentation of proof of eligibility and a personal interview with our pastor who specializes in counseling. He has many years of experience and can separate the 'wheat from the tares' so to speak. We also have a cap on how much and how often we can help someone.

 

Sometimes you have people who are enablers but not helpers..... so don't jump to a surface judgement about appearances and drug or other habit abuse:

I'll give an example from what I've seen in the past: Family members and or friends who will supply the 'target' with the poison of his choice which feeds his addiction.... but never have a dime to spare to buy him gas for work, or food for the table, or shoes for his kids, or pay a repairman so his refrigerator works. It's really odd, somehow, that people will buy another booze or a pack of cigarettes.... sort of so they have company in their habit, but don't care one whit about whether a person has food on their table.

Just because people have bad habits and find some way to continue them doesn't mean the help was wasted. I still remember parts of the testimony of a lady who was only a child living in coal mining country when her mother became a widow because of a mine accident. This woman attributed her early trust and confidence in listening to and receiving the gospel message due to the helps she remembers from poor people and poor churches as a child..... who frequently left food on the porch or money in the mail box to help her family get by.

 

My answer is the same in each of these situations. Seak God through prayer. Let him lead. I've walked by people on the street with no inclination to hand out cash and yet gone by others where the Holy Spirit said to give. I've given cash to some yet felt the HS lead me to take others to the grocery store. I had one man stop by a church I was Pastoring and he needed money to "clean up" for a job interview. We provided soap, razors, clothing, coms, brushed, toothpaste, etc. He didn't want any of it. Left it at the Church.

I've had to make the same kind of decisions with close family members. When is giving helping and when is it enabling. One verse says that when we give to one's in need we give to Christ. Another says that if a man doesn't work neither should he eat. The only thing I know to do is let the HS lead, and pray hard.

 

Mixed feelings here too...

We only pay utilities or specific bills... and then only once a yr.. and not usually over 50-100 dollars.

The local food bank takes care of food emergencies.

Usually what I have seen is people coming to church for a couple weeks.. then "reveal" they need help.. when we can't pay their 6 months back rent .. they get mad and go to another church.... Then call us hypocrites!

Truly needy.. we will help..
People playing us... NOPE..

Now if a family was truly needy, and the father was on drugs... paying an electric bill is only a band-aid fix. To really help, we need to get into their lives...

If all they want is a band-aid fix, then they may get one band-aid.. but no more.
If they want true help.. we are there for them.

I don't want my tithes going to to help someone's drug addiction.
I also don't want my tithes going to buy junk food for someone who is addicted to food.

We have to be helpers.. not enablers... and sometimes the best way to help is to say, "no, that's not what you need.. you need ____"

 

My feelings are not mixed here being one who went through drug usage etc...

Giving a drug attack money is enabling them to get high. I don't care what they say the money will be used for, I can tell you who will have it by the end of the night. You have to also be careful about giving them too many goods at one time. They will take and sell them to buy drugs. We never give money, if we are to assist with your lights, bring us the bill and we'll see what we can do. We never, ever, ever give cash.

I also prefer if they bring the children to the Church so we can make sure they get at least one good meal. It might be a lunch meat sandwich and some chips but at least we know they ate. We try to briefly separate the kids from the parents to see how the kids act on their own or if they want to talk. Like Rev Mitchell said, we have had to call child protective services especially when a young boy lifted his shirt to reveal a beating his dad recently gave him.

Of late, we've been seeing more and more where men will leave the home thinking social services will take care of the wife and kids. I have yet to understand how a man can make this decision but also pray I never be placed in a situation where I believe this makes sense.

We give out lots of prayer and scripture, a little food but never any cash.

 

I volunteer with drug addicts every night. Most every night. I miss some saturdays due to work.

I agree with LB on this one.