Giving to help

Discussion in 'General Baptist Discussions' started by Salty, Nov 28, 2010.

  1. Salty

    Salty
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    We had a lady in our church, who loves to give financially to help others. I am thankful for her gift of giving, but at times it seems those who she helps may be taking advantage.

    My basic motto is I will help the needy, but not the greedy. Linda says once you have given something to someone, let it go. My thought is if I am helping someone I want to know that they are using the help in a proper way and not abusing it. I am a "give a man a fish-he will eat for a day, teach a man how to fish- he will eat for a lifetime"

    So do you agree with Linda - "once you give it, let it go"
     
  2. freeatlast

    freeatlast
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    I agree with "give a man a fish-he will eat for a day, teach a man how to fish- he will eat for a lifetime" but I agree that once you give it let it go, but that does not mean that there are no parameters. Sometimes it is necessary to be knowingly scammed to reach some of these people. I would set a limit however and let them know that I knew what they were doing. There comes a point when no more is the only thing that some will hear.
     
  3. Salty

    Salty
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    In a way, I see your point, but I'm not sure I would take that route. What basis would you "set the limit" I realize that each situation is different, but would you have any general guidelines.

    Again, let me set up a couple of situations
    1. Single man - just living day-to day
    2. single parent with 1 child - if I don't help, child will go hungry ect

    #1, if he is hungry, I will take them to the Rescue mission for a free lunch, then discuss with him, how we could help him in the long term

    #2 the parent may try to make me feel guilty if I don't help esp because of the child. (first it takes an awful lot for me to feel guilty-my wife is the opposite) but again, I may take them to a fast food joint eat, and then discuss what provisions are required to get them help - ie womens shelter, welfare,ect and would assist accordingly

    Thoughts anyone, anyone....
     
  4. annsni

    annsni
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    This is where I am grateful for our missions pastor who has a great gift of discernment. He gets involved in people's lives and will help where help is needed - and give a boot where one of those are needed as well. But if I help someone financially, I DO just give it to them and leave the rest up to them and God.
     
  5. Jim1999

    Jim1999
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    My churches always made $100.00 available for me to help people in need. If a man was hungry, I took him to a cafe and bought the meal. It was God's money and I was responsible for it. I helped people, but never gave them cash in hand.

    I may have money to-day, but there is a reason for my money, and I sure don't intend to give it away freely.

    Cheers,

    Jim
     
  6. Dr. Bob

    Dr. Bob
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    Many with the spiritual gift of liberality/giving seem to have less discernment. But it is because they see the opportunity to give as the blessing, not the minutia/accounting of what happens.

    We have an Isaiah 58 box with food items/funds for truly needed. Sadly, in Casper we have professional beggars, assuming every church should just hand out without checking. They get so much $$ suckling at the teats of the Democrats that they just "expect" it.

    Some churches/pastors act the same way. A sense of "entitlement" - they somehow deserve others to give to help them live a hedonistic or unaccountable lifestyle.

    If we know folks in real need, we help. Generously. Each week, though, we get the "yellow page trolling" calls - car broke down, rent due, no $$ for paying gas for heat, kids starving. Ask if they have gotten food box from one of the two pantries. Ask if they have gotten financial help from Salvation Army.

    Quick hang ups.
     
  7. annsni

    annsni
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    Yep. This is why I said I love our missions pastor who does a lot of the contact for the needy. He is in close contact with the other churches in the area and can find those who truly need it and then those who are professional beggars and have a different story each week. It's actually really interesting to be around him when he is dealing with someone. He asks questions I'd never think to ask!
     
  8. Thousand Hills

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    I initially tend to want to worry about it when I give to someone who asks for help, but I try to remember this verse and let it go Matthew 6:3 NIV But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing. Basically, to me that means when an instance occurs where I have the opportunity to give, it may be God testing me (am I trusting him or money), or working in the other persons life in someway, I don't know, but I try just to be faithful and do my part, and if the person has the wrong intentions or is decieving, God will work that out with them.
     
  9. Salty

    Salty
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    But are we really receive a blessing if we give to the greedy? or is it just a "feel-good" attitude.

    I thinking I look at the long term - not just the "so-called" immediate need. Could be I have the gift of discernment. Are we really helping someone to "enable" bad behavior?

    Previously I mention the family that was financially desperate - I have started a poll about that - click here for poll
     
  10. JohnDeereFan

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    I was a social worker for many years, so I want to know:

    1. Whether giving money is really the best solution
    2. Whether the person is able to help themselves and if they really need money, or just counselling and encouragement
    3. Where the money is going
    4. Whether the money is being spent wisely
    5. What the person is doing to help themself

    and

    6. What their plan to repay it is. I know that sounds awfully uncharitable and if it was a person who could not provide for themselves, then I wouldn't ask for it back. But if it's a person who can, but just needs a little help, it's important for their sake to make restitution a requirement. If I give somebody money and make them a dependent, or feel like a charity case, I may have solved the short-term problem, but at the expense of creating more long term problems.
     
  11. Salty

    Salty
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    John, may I share this story with you (remember just between you and me!)
    Several years ago, I had a job that was basically commission - business was real bad - my groceries were on my credit card for a couple of months.

    I did not share that with anyone other than my fiancé (now my wife). One night the pastor came up to me and handed me $100. He said the Lord told him to do so!

    I had just gotten a new job as a taxi driver. Over the next several weeks I saved portions of my tips until I had the $100. I gave it to the pastor, he told me it was a gift, not a loan. I told him, the money was a Godsend at the time, and I was recovering financially. I told him I wanted him to give it back so he (and myself) could be a blessing to someone else.
     
  12. annsni

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    I've been blessed to be in the situation of the giver and I just tell the person to pass it on to someone else they know needs it. It's FUN to do that.

    Then again, I was the go-between for someone blessing a single mom with money and I LOVED seeing her face when she opened the envelope in front of me and there was $1000 cash in there!! She broke down crying, I just giggled and had a lot of respect for the giver. :)

    Being able to bless others is SUCH a blessing to the giver as well.
     
  13. Jim1999

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    I am afraid far too many to-day feed their bellies with beer, and still need cash for their family. Better to by the groceries, pay for a meal...We are responsible to God for how we spend this money.

    Cheers,

    Jim
     

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