Gotta An Actual Person Problem and Church Related

Discussion in 'General Baptist Discussions' started by ShotGunWillie, Oct 18, 2010.

  1. ShotGunWillie

    ShotGunWillie
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    My family and I joined a local Baptist church, I have had the desire to get involved in the church and devote time to His seervice. So I agreed to assist someone I didn't know with RAs and do it right, take the right approach and actually run the program correctly.

    So we are planning a big fishing outing, gonna take the boys out and do some hiking and fishing and junk and stuff.

    So I sent the leader a text (its just him and me) saying hey, we need some poles or are these kids bringing their own?

    He calls, during the phone conversation he drops the "f-bomb". I pause out of shock that he would so willingly throw it about.

    Then I got a sick feeling and I can't get it out of my head. The wind left my sail and now I am just sitting here thinking of why in the world did I make this move. I don't even know the guy, I should have looked into this a little closer.

    I don't know. My mind is else where half the time and this is my escape from reality, mixing it up with these boys, teaching them and them teaching me, mainly patience.

    Thoughts if any...
     
  2. abcgrad94

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    I'd start with Matthew 18. Go talk to him about it. Let him know you were shocked by his language, especially as he is in a leadership position. See what his response is, then take it from there.
     
  3. SBCPreacher

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    Agreed. If he would let it "slip" in front of you, he's probably done if in front of the boys too. It needs to be addressed!
     
  4. Crucified in Christ

    Crucified in Christ
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    Willie,
    I think that it is absolutely great that you want to get started serving the Lord, but I think you are not proceeding wisely. It was only a couple of days ago that you were posting about what I can only assume are some serious personal issues. You need to get these resolved prior to working with young people. I say this out of concern for both you and them.
     
  5. freeatlast

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    I looked at your profile and the church you have listed I know of the Pastor. I cannot even imagine him knowingly allowing someone with that type of vocabulary to remain in any position much less to be around young boys. I agree that this man needs to be confronted, but this also need to go to the pastor. You need to get on the phone today with the pastor and tell him what took place. I would ask him to remove this person from the trip and replace him or if he cannot find a replacement to cancel the trip if it is too much for one person. If he refuses every effort then simply resign yourself and leave the church to find another. They are not worthy of you in such a case.
     
    #5 freeatlast, Oct 18, 2010
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 18, 2010
  6. matt wade

    matt wade
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    I disagree about going to the pastor right off the bat. Follow Matthew 18. God gave us his plan for this type of situation...follow it.
     
  7. freeatlast

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    I know of the passage, but Let me ask you something. If he had molested a child would you follow Matt. 18? Here is why the church is in so much trouble today. The lack of discernment. This man is a leader (although I do not know to what capacity) and there are different standards for handling a leader (certain type of leaders) according to scripture. Also I am not aware of the time frame here. Is there time to go through the steps in Matt 18? Doing it the way I suggest is not against the principles of scripture. The manner that I stated is proper. Because of the type of language and ease of using it this guy he mentioned even if he repents has no business with these boys. He needs to be watched for a time to see if he is real. He needs to be removed. So you can disagree all you want.
     
  8. TCassidy

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    Yes, I would. I would ask him to repent of his sin and make it right by calling 911 and turning himself in.

    If he refused I would call the pastor and fill him in then ask the man to repent of his sin and make it right by calling 911 and turning himself in.

    If he again refused I would call 911 and turn him in.

    There are no exceptions to Matthew 18. God's way works every time. :)
     
  9. saturneptune

    saturneptune
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    How did you make the leap from cursing to molesting a child? This is like the rest of your posts. You distort the Scripture and exxagerate the situation. A lack of discerment as you call it is your middle name. You said, "even if he repents has no business with these boys." That is baloney. You make different statements in adjacent sentences. You said, "he needs to be watched for some time to see if he is real," followed by "he needs to be removed." So which is it? The bottom line is that you do not have a clue. No doubt the incident will be reported and the local church will handle it with much more wisdom than you can imagine.
     
  10. freeatlast

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    Shotgun, I looked at your profile and the church you have listed I know of the Pastor. I cannot even imagine him knowingly allowing someone with that type of vocabulary to remain in any position much less to be around young boys. I agree that this man needs to be confronted, but this also need to go to the pastor. You need to get on the phone today with the pastor and tell him what took place. I would ask him to remove this person from the trip and replace him or if he cannot find a replacement to cancel the trip if it is too much for one person. If he refuses every effort then simply resign yourself and leave the church to find another. They are not worthy of you in such a case.
     
  11. saturneptune

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    Shot Gun,
    My advice to you is to pray about it, and report the situation following Matthew 18. Let the Holy Spirit guide you about staying and serving the Lord or moving on. You do not need advice from this individual.
     
  12. menageriekeeper

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    How about a simple "I don;t appreciate that sort of language"? I mean really, its a foul word, but not the end of the world and sorry, but its not even an uncommon word anymore. And since it doesn't rise to the level of taking God's name in vain (OMG bothers me more!) I dont' see the need for sickening feelings about what the author of the OP has gotten himself into.

    What are you into? Real life. And real Christians sometimes use language the rest of us find really offensive. So tell him so and move on. There are other, better things to be concerned about.
     
  13. John Toppass

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    HMMMMMM So the pastor is suppose to remove someone on the hearsay of a new and troubled member????? I can see the pastor talking to the person but after that I would leave up to the pastor. If the person apologizes then the apology should be accepted and never brought up again.
     
  14. Steven2006

    Steven2006
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    I agree, reading this thread it really came across way over dramatic.

    Just talk with the man, and tell him you don't appreciate that language, and I would add, I sure hope you never speak that way when around the youth. (which I seriously doubt he has)
     
  15. kyredneck

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    Thank you. I totally agree with this.
     
  16. matt wade

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    As TCassidy pointed out, Matthew 18 works just as well in the case of a child molester. God's plan always works.

    Please provide the Scriptures to back your statements up.

    I would assume there is. I don't think one goes from saying a curse word to murdering their entire family any faster than it takes to go through Matthew 18.

    Please provide Scripture to back up your statements.

    If those are your standards, then no one would be eligible to work in any capacity in the church. You might want to check out Romans 3:23 (and by the way, it applies to you as well!).
     
  17. Pastor Kyle

    Pastor Kyle
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    I agree, the only way for this to be solved is by going and telling him what he has done and why you believe according to the Bible that it was wrong. Show him texts like Eph. 4:29, 31; Col. 3:8 and others.
     
  18. ShotGunWillie

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    Really? Perhaps I am wrong here, but who cares if he uses it in front of the youth or not. If he uses language like this so casually, he uses it at work, uses it at home, uses when he goes fishing. What does that say about him and what does that say about the church in which he serves?

    Really? Dramatic. I know several people that curse up a storm in my office place, I don't find it offensive one bit, that's them, they are in the world and apart of the world, until I find out that they call themselves Christians and happen to teach Sunday school classes or hold a postion as deacon.

    I find it offensive that someone in any position within in any congregation would so freely throw out f-bombs. So dramatic, nope, offended yes, because once again "fake" has reared its ugly head in my eyes.

    And to those of you who agree with this weak stance, what if your pastor dropped a bomb on you in causal conversation, how would that play out in your head.
     
  19. SBCPreacher

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    Good point. If I did it, I'd be fired, and rightfully so!
     
  20. matt wade

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    If you are as concerned as you appear about this, have you done anything about it? The Bible clearly shows us how to deal with such a situation.

    Go to him. In person. Let him know how concerned you are about this. Maybe the guy is struggling with his language. Maybe he let one slip and it was the first time in a month. Maybe he's been down on his knees already asking God to help him remove this sin from his life. Maybe he needs a friend that can help him through this.

    You won't know any of these "maybes" until you do what God has told us to do and go to the man. Talk to him in love and try and work it out. If he is unrepentant after you talk to him, bring another brother from the church (could be the pastor).

    All this mud slinging you are doing at this guy is pitiful. You are guilty of assuming he is doing many things that he may or may not be doing. let me quote you:

    "he uses language like this so casually"
    "he uses it at work"
    "uses it at home"
    "uses when he goes fishing"
    "freely throw out f-bombs"
    ""fake" has reared its ugly head in my eyes"
    "he would so willingly throw it about"


    All of the statements are made without any knowledge of what the man is thinking. You should refrain from speaking about him until you know the facts.

    Do you think my position on this is "weak"? Too bad. Follow what God has said even if you think it is "weak".
     

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