Heavenly golf

Discussion in 'Clean Humor' started by thisnumbersdisconnected, Oct 4, 2013.

  1. thisnumbersdisconnected

    thisnumbersdisconnected
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    An avid golfer died and went to heaven. He was looking around and, in the distance, swore he could see a greens flag fluttering in the breeze. He rushed up to the first angel he could find and said, "Excuse me, but is that a golf course over there?"

    The angel replied, "Oh, yes, absolutely! We love golf here in heaven. Please, feel free to go pick out a set of clubs and join a foursome."

    So of course, the golfer did so. He found the best quality equipment he'd ever seen, and (of course) didn't have to wait to find three others to play with, or wait for a tee time.

    He recognized one man from his own region of the country, a pretty good scratch golfer who had passed away unexpectedly some months before. But he didn't recognize the other two right away.

    He teed off first, and hit a tremendous shot, straight down the middle of the fairway (obviously his hook was cured in heaven) and 350 yards, at least 75 yards farther than he'd ever hit the ball in his earthly life. The man familiar to him then hit, and smashed a beautiful 400 yard shot that bounced up to the edge of the green on the par four hole.

    Then came the other two. First, with an absolutely perfect swing, the third golfer blasted an amazing shot well over 400 yards, onto the green where it rolled over the vast open space to the pin at the back of the green, and stopped short about 17 feet from the cup. Amazing!

    The last golfer seemed almost ethereal in appearance. His motions were blurred, his address of the ball mystical. He swung, but the ball went wildly right, only to be intercepted in midair by a suddenly-appearing eagle which caught the ball in flight in its talons and swooped toward the green, but dropped the ball some 90 yards short of the hole, onto a rock protruding from the rough. The ball bounced high over the green, went into a water hazard behind the pin, only to reappear in the mouth of a fish seconds later, the leaping trout spitting the ball toward the pin -- where it rolled gently up to the flag stick and fell in the cup!

    It was then that the new arrival recognized Jesus as the third golfer, as he noted the nail scarred hands when He put away his driver. He rushed up to the Savior, but was momentarily speechless. Jesus smiled, placed His hand on the man's shoulder, and said, "Isn't it beautiful here?"

    The man was stammering, sputtering, amazed, and when he finally could speak, he could only utter the low-volume sentence, "Jesus, who is your partner?"

    Jesus laughed, smiled, and pointed at the numinous figure and said, "That's Dad! He likes to show off for the new arrivals!"
     
    #1 thisnumbersdisconnected, Oct 4, 2013
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 4, 2013
  2. ktn4eg

    ktn4eg
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    But....but....shouldn't Jesus be speaking in vintage 1611 KJ English??

    EX: "Lo, He art My Abba. Oft times He desireth to manifest Himself to those who hath arriven but mere betimes."
     
  3. thisnumbersdisconnected

    thisnumbersdisconnected
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    [​IMG]

    That was better than the joke!
     

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