Help needed

Discussion in 'Youth Forum' started by Guitar25, Oct 5, 2003.

  1. Guitar25

    Guitar25
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    I am seeing alot of a christian girl named Kim. We have been friends for about a year now and we really like each other. She tells me that she likes me and she and i seem to get along together well. But the problem is, i have an old friend, Josh, telling me that she is a skank and that she is using me and she's going to stab me in the back. He is her old boyfriend, and i don't really believe him at all, but there is a part of me that believes him. i don't know what to do. I have prayed to god about her and if she is the right one for me, and now im with her, but something wants to believe what people are telling me. I have told her about it and she says that its not true, but i still can't help partially believing what they say.

    What should i do? i really need some help.
     
  2. dianetavegia

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    Guitar, aren't you 16? Not to worry! Just be friends and enjoy your friendship. 6-10 years or so from now, you'll find the young woman God has for you. In fact, you should be praying for her every night that God prepare her, make you worthy of her and more.

    Diane (WAY over 16)
     
  3. Guitar25

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    Thanks for the advice Diane. I appreciate it.

    Yes i am 16, but you see, i fell for her the moment i saw her and i have prayed everynight for the last 7 months, asking God if she is the one for me, and if so, to bring her to me. And now it seems like its happening, but i don't know what to do about Josh's remarks about her and what he says. im struggling
     
  4. Gayla

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    guitar,
    i will also say to relax, and not rush in to anything.
    I didn't marry until I was 33. White dress [meaning what it is supposed to mean] and all.
    God has her out there somewhere, Maybe it's Kim, maybe it's not.

    gayla (also over 16 :D [​IMG] [​IMG] )
     
  5. Guitar25

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    Of course im not going to rush into anything with her. I have made a personal vow to christ and to myself that i won't have sex untill marriage and i have kept that promise and will keep it. She is a christian girl as well so i dont think that either of us will go that far. But the thing is most of my heart tells me to disregard all that josh says, but this little part says to believe him i don't know what to do. i will try to relax though.
     
  6. I Am Blessed 24

    I Am Blessed 24
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    Guitar: I agree with Diane and Gayla.

    You have been praying for seven months. That is definitely a step in the right direction!

    Do the two of you ever pray together or have devotions or Bible Study together or with your respective families?

    That could show you her true character and dispel what you are hearing others say about her. Also, Josh may be just chewing on some 'sour grapes'.

    Another good indicator is how do your parents feel about her?

    The main thing is to stay in the center of God's will. He will never steer you wrong. [​IMG]

    [​IMG]
    ┬žue (farther over 16 than the rest - but can still remember)! [​IMG]
     
  7. Guitar25

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    Well i talk to her every day online and see her often. i have never prayed with her, just yet. but i plan on it soon. My parents dont live together so i cant say anything on my dads behalf, but my mom seems to like her. I don't think its all true and today in school Josh started to insult me about it saying "I never thought i would lose a girlfriend to you" So i think that he may just be making up what he saying about her out of anger, but still he doesn't need to take it out on me. But im still questioning somethings.
     
  8. Xingyi Warrior

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    If there seems to be a concensus on some issues among her accusers then you might be wary (1 million satisfied/unsatisfied customers cant be wrong). It would really depend on what those issues were and how serious they are. Remember that she or anyone else you may be involved with at some point are never going to show you their true nature up front. I had a friend once who certain people accused of stealing things. She never stole anything from me and I really wanted to believe that it was not true, but I kept hearing the same things from different people. Later she was fired from a job for theft. Pray about it and keep an eye open.
     
  9. Guitar25

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    IT doesn't seem like we will be together anytime soon. Maybe later on in the future but now, there's not really anything going to happen. She said that she needs time to deal w/ things without a bf. I partially believe her but something in my heart tells me something different. I just don't know what.
     
  10. Xingyi Warrior

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    Forget about her. You've probably got enough baggage of your own to deal with without lugging around any of her excess. Remember, theres a lot of women in the world but theres only 1 Guitar25.
     
  11. TheOliveBranch

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    Guitar,

    You said that you have been praying to God every night for 7 months. Maybe he's trying to show you through others. Be careful not to look at what you think, but at all the things that come to you about her. Maybe you already know what His answer is.
     
  12. Joseph_Botwinick

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    Guitar,

    I guess my advice would be to allow her to be your sister in Christ for a while without all the pressure and emotional baggage of having to be boyfriend and girlfriend. Pray together. Study the Bible together. Go to Church together. Hang out with friends together. But, at your age, (and believe me, I have been there), there really is no reason to try and push an adult relationship on yourself too soon. Sometimes, it is really a great thing to be a child. Man, if only I knew then what I know now... ;)

    Life truly was a lot more simple then (except for all the complex emotional baggage that I brought upon myself).

    Please don't take this the wrong way, but just enjoy being a kid for a while. Get into the Word and strengthen your relationship with God. You will have plenty of time for all these other things later on.

    Joseph Botwinick
     
  13. SaggyWoman

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    I would have to ditto what everyone is saying. They are on track.

    I am surprised at the number of people I thought God had brought into my path, only to figure out that was not the case. I always thoguth I was ready for a husbnd and was wondering why God had not brought me one.

    I am 40, and I think I just figured it out.
     
  14. Guitar25

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    I would if i could. I used to see her alot at my old youth group, but i don't go there anymore, i go to a different one. But the thing is, she isn't talking to me anymore. She never seems to be online and now she is going back out with the same guy who called her a slut and a skank and a backstabbing b-word to me behind her back. I really cared for her, but it seems to me that my feelings for her werent worth anything to her and that her feelings for me were just a lie
     
  15. joshknighton

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    He guy, I am 17 and my advice is be without care. Paul writes to the unmarried and says, "I want you to be without care." You just gotta let things be and if something becomes of it then great.
     
  16. ScottEmerson

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    Hey, Guitar25...

    I remember what broken hearts were like. Definitely not at the top of my list of enjoyable things in life. Might I encourage you to begin refocusing things? I am convinced that when we hurt, the only Person we can trust in and rely on is Jesus Christ. I would encourage you to start worshipping Him, because as bad as you feel now, remember what it was like to be without God.

    And in remembering what Christ has saved you from, ask God to provide you peace that passes all understanding (because guys will never be able to understand girls, you know!) Put on some of your favorite music, maybe even write a new song or two. Focus on God, and the hurt will begin to go away.

    Also, be honest with God about your hurt. It's not like he doesn't already know it is there. Be specific about how you feel and ask God to provide peace. The more honest we are with God about our emotions, our state of mind, and where we are in life, the more that God will meet our needs. I've seen it in my own life many times, and I've seen it in others many times as well.

    Peace to you!
     

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