I am looking to start my life anew. I still dont want to live if it means going back to what i was, but i do have some hope now. I would have to write a whole testimonial to explain everything, but let me sum it up by saying this. I was called to ministry way back in 1985. My church ordained me with a license to preach and i started seminary. shortly after that, my life went into a turmoil...everything went wrong. I quit the church, the seminary, and my family. Soon after that, i went to prison for property crimes. And yes i was guilty, and deserved way more time than I got. From 1986, all the way thru my prison time (it was extendened because i escaped for 3 years) I was in rebellon against God. i thought that either he wasnt real, or, like some of you Calvanists would say, I wasnt one of His chosen. It took till 2003 for me to go back to church and start to get my life right again. I immediately felt the call to the ministry again, but this time my heart went out to the homeless, addicted, and the ex cons. That is the ministry that I hope to work in someday. I set up an online bible course thru a baptist Seminary to get my BA in pastoral studies, but kept putting off starting it for one reason or the other. Then I met Sherry. We got married and had Joshua. I thought we would be a godly family and that I would start seminary again, but Sherry has rebelled against going to church. She refuses to go, and when i do talk her into it, she gets rude with everyone there and just really makes a scene. She has told me many times that she doesnt want our family and home to revolve around God. She just wants us to be "normal". Anyway, she has left me, and doesnt want to talk to me or let me talk to my son, so I am free to find my place in God's work without her interfereing. I have told her many times that I cant just live "normal". That I have to follow god and His plan for me, or follow Satan. I dont have a choice of mediocrocy. She doesnt care. And now she has taken my 3 year old son off somewhre and refuses to talk to me, much less tell me where my son is. I am practically homeless and destitute. Do any of you know where I can go to find a good church, and eventually get into a good Bible College, so that I can make good on my vow that i made to God 25 years ago? I am not tied down anywhere, ao i can go anywhere, I just need to get spiritually grounded and start school. BTW, I am a welder, and can get a job anywhere almost. Can any of you point me in the right direction? Thanks for your prayers AJ PS....I just left the recovery program today and checked my email, and there was a message from my daughter that i havent heard from in several years. It just said "I love you Dad". If that is not hope, then I dont know what is.