Holding hands with a church member (opposite sex) during the sermon?

Discussion in 'Forum for Polls' started by Joe, Jan 20, 2008.

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Is it ok to hold hands with a church member of the opposite sex during the sermon?

  1. Yes, we are to love one another

    48.0%
  2. Yes but only if there is a significant age gap (15 years +)

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  3. No, it isn't a good idea and could be sinning

    8.0%
  4. Other (Explain if you will)

    44.0%
  1. Joe

    Joe
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    Inspired by a comment from SFIC in the other thread

    And speaking in general terms...

    Is it ok to hold hands with a fellow church member of the opposite sex, while you both listen to the sermon? It would be someone already sitting right next to you in the pew.
     
    #1 Joe, Jan 20, 2008
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 20, 2008
  2. I Am Blessed 24

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    My vote would be no. I see no reason for it and IMHO it would be inappropriate.
     
  3. TC2

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    Just listening to the sermon?
    No, not acceptable, unless they are your spouse/child or perhaps a close friend/family member in need of comfort/support at that moment.

    During prayer in the sermon? I'm more open to that, provided your/their spouse (if applicable) was okay with it.
     
  4. Dan Todd

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    Couldn't honestly say they are sinning - but their attention is somewhere else - not on me or the sermon I'm giving.

    My wife and I (when I'm not preaching) hold hands during the final prayer!
     
  5. annsni

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    If it is not a spouse, I don't think so. Why are they holding hands? What is that showing??

    I will hold Bob's hand sometimes but that would mean that I'm not doing the PowerPoint for the sermon (today there's no PP), I'm not sitting in the sound booth and we're not writing furiously. LOL!
     
  6. Joe

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    I'll take a stab at it. Again, this is in between unrelated individuals.

    I don't think anyone is considering "what it is showing" when it happens. Others can't see it anyways if your sitting in a pew.

    If there is a significant age difference, imo, it's usually more like a "parental relationship" than a boy- girl situation. Even if the older one is attractive enough or very attractive, I imagine most adults would take the parental feeling over attraction. There are very few who come across as a mother, father, grandfather, grandmother, type figure. It is church, so you are there to honor the Lord. That's first and foremost, anything else is disrespectful imo. It seems pretty safe.
    Holding hands with someone you are close in age to could look bad, and it could be riskier. Teenagers who are dating should not hold hands imo. Most of the time, it is with a teenager and an adult, or an adult old enough to give birth to the other adult, so I can't see an issue. Maybe I am off-base.
     
    #6 Joe, Jan 20, 2008
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  7. annsni

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    Maybe my mind is just warped but I'd be really worried about even an older person holding a younger person's hand. There is no reason that I can see in my mind to hold another person's hand who is not in your own family. But then again, in working with youth, and having been one, I know how easily things can be misconstrued and I think it's better to avoid even the appearance of what might not be right.
     
  8. Joe

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    I can see that POV, yet people holding hands is not that big of a deal unless it bothers the Pastor.
    Many are "professional misconstruers" so to entertain their constant character assasinations only fuels the fire. Their warped minds move on to harass others. Until someone calls them on it, it will continue.

    If the person has enough respect and guts to confront me in private about anything, I would likely stop doing whatever it is that bothered them. It shows credibility regarding their character. This is how I met one of my closest church friends.:1_grouphug:
     
    #8 Joe, Jan 20, 2008
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  9. ReCreated

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    Imho?

    may i ask what IMHO is?

    Also can we clarify this subject further?
    I know a family in my church where the parents have all their children hold hands for the sake of knowing what their childrens hands are doing for this particular couple it is effectife because there children seem to pay attention rather than drawing or playing with whatever they've smuggled to church in their pockets. :)

    And married couples didnt God intend marriage to be a partnership in the home and worship environment? I know my mother holds my fathers hand in church and my brothers wife holds his to show their submission to their husbands during the learning of God's word.

    Am i missreading this thread? if so we will move on to single opposite sex's of diffirent family's.

    Durring proper courtship the church is one of the best places for innocent couples planing to get married to spend their time, the church is a safe place where the worries of compromising innocence are greatly reduced the parrents of the couple are the ones who should be responsible for whether they hold hands or not.

    If a member of the church finds it to be uncomfortable for them they should tell the man God put in authority (their pastor) and if he finds it to be a problem then he should deal with the parrents. after the parents and pastor find a way to best deal with the situation It is the parents responsibility to set the guidlines for their children.
     
    #9 ReCreated, Jan 21, 2008
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  10. TC2

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    In my humble opinion
     
  11. mcdirector

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    Does this happen the entire time? Doesn't this make notetaking difficult? Turning pages? Just curious. I'm an active participant. :D
     
  12. billreber

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    I marked "other", because it all depends on the specific situation:

    1. I have held the hand of a woman during the worship service, because she asked me to for a specific reason (which I cannot reveal) and on that specific day.

    2. I have held the hand of a younger girl (I have no children of my own) at the request of a mother who was going to be singing a special.

    3. I have spent time in prayer (during a sermon) with a woman who was not my wife, while holding her hands, at her request.

    Short-term, specific reasons exist for holding the hand of someone of the opposite sex. Blanket condemnation of such hand-holding is not good. (And I am NOT accusing anyone of doing such condemnation).

    Bill:godisgood:
     
  13. David Lamb

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    I found the choices rather restrictive. If I did not choose "Yes we are to love one another", it could give the impression that I do not believe we are to love on another. The only negative answer is linked with sin.

    The bible tells all Christians to love all Christians, not just those of the opposite sex, or those with an age difference of at least 15 years, so "We are to love one another" does not seem an adequate reason for holding hands in a sermon.

    I agree with those who have said that it is likely to be distracting (to the hand-holders themselves). It would also affect practical things, like turning up a scripture reference.
     
  14. ReCreated

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    by the grace of God my father is right handed and my mother is left handed so in their particular case they have no real need to let go of eachothers hands to be active in study. my brother and his wife on the otherhand are not so lucky and are often (letting go) to take notes and such.
     
  15. Tom Bryant

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  16. mcdirector

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    I still can't believe you didn't have a pithy comeback for that ;)
     
  17. Tom Bryant

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    what do you say? "If I had that tongue, I wouldn't want it my mouth either?" :tonofbricks:

    It's been almost a month and I am still speechless.
     
  18. mcdirector

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    I would be too -- I'm actually surprised you could keep preaching!
     
  19. Tom Bryant

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    God's Grace and the fact that I used to preach at youth conferences. :laugh:
     
  20. menageriekeeper

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    Good Grief, folks, have we really moved so far as to think hand holding is a sign of lust? :eek:

    I'm with poor Tom Bryant, save your outrage for things like shoulder licking. <I just can't stop laughing at that one, just imagining my own reaction to such a sight!>

    Along the same lines, we had one young 'in love' couple that practiced sitting on the front pew in the youth section. Half the time she was barefoot and wearing a mini skirt. The other half the time she was wearing a mini skirt and a low cut neck line. All the time they had hands on each other (we in the choir would have appreciated it if they had just held hands) and frequently chatted with each other.

    Our then preacher didn't miss a beat. He kept right on preaching and eventually these two found they were very uncomfortable, then they weren't in love any more and by the time they headed off to college they had figured things out.

    Whether anyone had to speak to them, I don't know. I doubt it. Some things come naturally with the preaching of the Word.
     

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