Hot Topic..What Constitutes a Biblical Marriage?

Discussion in '2005 Archive' started by Gregory Perry Sr., Dec 13, 2004.

  1. Gregory Perry Sr.

    Gregory Perry Sr.
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    [​IMG] Well people..this is my 1st REAL post so I thought I'd offer a good one.....Marriage in the Bible...WHAT IS IT REALLY??I'll bet everybody thinks they know and I'll not offer my personal convictions at this time cause I want to hear what everybody has to say without coloring the discussion with my opinions.I will frame the discussion with a few frames of reference to set the direction:
    1)Is marriage determined by a ceremony?
     
  2. Gregory Perry Sr.

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    OOOOOPS!Hit the wrong button and posted too soon so I'll continue at #2:
    2)Is Biblical marriage a joining of flesh?
    3)Is biblical marriage a combination of ceremony AND the joining of flesh?
    4)Is it the vows that are exchanged?
    5)OR Is it a confirmed commitment between the man and the woman,either publically OR privately?
    6)Is common law marriage recognized by God?
    7)AND....is C/L biblical?

    These are just a few of the "angles" to comment on but I will require one thing of everybody...and that is that if you "postulate" your opinion it must be FRAMED with SCRIPTURE to PROVE your POINT.....IN CONTEXT PLEASE.

    NOTE:this is NOT a discussion about divorce OR remarriage so lets just leave that alone for now!

    Well...that oughta get things hummin for awhile.Some of you may be surprized what IS and ISN'T actually IN your Bibles.For the record I use ONLY the King James Bible and I don't read Greek or Hebrew.SOOOO...bring your best scholarship OR plain ole laymans common sense to this discussion.I'm just a "plain ole layman" that seeks to learn and be directed by the Holy Spirit so I can believe and live the way God wants me too for HIS sake and glory.God Bless You All! [​IMG] Greg Sr.
     
  3. Gina B

    Gina B
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    I'll take number 5, and answer yes to numbers 6 and seven. [​IMG]
    Gina
     
  4. Circuitrider

    Circuitrider
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    A number of years ago I counseled a woman that had lived with a man without being married. They had made private promises to one another during that time. Later they broke up and the woman had married someone else. She called me in confidence thinking that maybe she was technically a bigamist in the eyes of God. She based her thinking on I Cor 6:16.

    I do not believe that living together constitutes marriage or every sexual relationship outside of marriage could be potentially a marriage, and I see no indication of Scripture to support that, including I Cor 6:16.

    I base marriage on Genesis 2:24 and from that verse I see three aspects which should be present:

    1. Leaving - Wedlock - some kind of formal, public ceremony which has witnesses and the approval of human government (Rom 12:1)
    2. Cleaving - love relationship - commitment of a man and a woman to one another in the form of promises or vows
    3. One flesh - physical, intimate relationship

    I told that woman who came to me, that her live-in relationship was not marriage, but that she needed to deal with the guilt of that sin through repentance so that she could enjoy freedom from that past sinful failure. Since I did not know her identity, I trust that she followed through and found peace with God. [​IMG]
     
  5. robycop3

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    The Scriptures Dr. Bob cited, PLUS the local law are the governing factors for CHRISTIAN marriage. For my wife and I, it was a commitment to each other(We were not saved at the time), our determination to have a WEDDING & not just a legal civil ceremony, a wedding performed by a pastor in his church.

    MINIMUM requirements in WV where I was married is application for a marriage license, which is not issued until both applicants are tested for VD & AIDS, with negative results, & a marriage ceremony persormed by a clergyman licensed to perform marriages, a justice of the peace, a judge, or a magistrate.(Sorry, motel registrars aren't automatically qualified)

    "Common law" marriages are recognized after 7 years of a couple's claiming to have lived together that long.

    In some nations, the father or nearest male relative of the groom, and some lands, that of the bride, can perform a marriage by merely proclaiming, "I pronounce you husband and wife" or something similar, in front of a certain number of witnesses, this number varying from people to people, in some cases NONE being necessary. I will say God recognizes such marriages if the PRINCIPALS live as spouses.

    Since my fiancee' and I lived in WV at the time we were married, we obeyed the law of that land. We have been married to each other for over 30 years. (In this day/age, is this a new Guinness record??LOL)
     
  6. Heide

    Heide
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    I guess this is how I feel as far as the whole marriage thing.

    I know I told you before Len and I had a baby before we got married.Most people would have seen us having a baby out of wedlock. We both were also young, I was talking to his mom the other day..When Len and I enaged into having our son..We Did not see it as ok Lets have fun making a baby but that we wanted a baby and we wanted to be together for the rest of our lifes. In My heart as well as Len's We felt we were married..Becasue, One we were commitmeted to one another, We never were in a sexual relationship with anyone else. We wanted to live our lifes for the Lord as best as we knew how.

    So to me I feel that its the promise that we will be faithful to one another and we live our lifes for God and never take anyone up.

    We did have our wedding ceremony, But to this day I feel that our true wedding was the day we wanted a son..I feel that if God truly thought what we did was wrong We would not Given us our Son on our first try.
     
  7. Greg Linscott

    Greg Linscott
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    Heide,

    For the christian, our authority is not experience. No matter what we "feel," we must appeal to what is dictated by the Word of God, and let that govern our lives and define our terms.

    In this country, the government, divinely ordained by God according to Romans 13, has declared the process by which marriage is recognized, which, by the way, is generally the biblical definition of a holy and honorable commitment between a man and woman for life. If we do not measure up to that standard, we are not married, no matter what we feel or do.
     
  8. Gina B

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    Greg, is that chapter really speaking of political rulers?
    It sounds to me as if it is speaking of those who minister in the church.
    Gina
     
  9. Debby in Philly

    Debby in Philly
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    Way back in OT times, if you did the deed, you were married. Or the man was at least responsible for the woman and any consequences. Life was simpler then, and most folks "played by the same rules."
     
  10. donnA

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    Common law marriages are not leagal in Ky and many other states. Which means the man has no legal right to make decisions for the woman and any children they have, he has no claim on the children, and the woman and children can not be added to health insurance at this present moment. In case of the death of the man the woman and has no legal claim on any of his possisions and in case of her death he can not claim any children they may have had.
     
  11. Heide

    Heide
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    This is what I found on a web search I did.

    Question: "What constitutes marriage according to the Bibleā€



    Answer: Marriage is an act of the will, not a rite or ritual. What makes you married is the act of your will, and the act of the will of your mate, that says to each other, I allow you to come into my life and become one flesh with me. It is the same as when you ask Christ to come into your life and become one flesh with you, in salvation. It does not matter who performs the rite, what matters are the wills of the two participants! It is an act of the will, not a ceremony. A ceremony is usually a part of the process, but it does not complete the action! A couple who is married by a judge is no less married than a couple who was married in a pastor or priest. God is the one who created marriage (Gen 2:18-25). What matters is your heart before God, not the wedding ceremony itself.



    However, no one is married in God's eyes if that marriage has not been recognized by the laws of the land in which the couple lives. God gave the laws and gave the government the authority to determine what constitutes a legal marriage (Rom 13:4, Col 1:16). In the United States, a legal marriage is only binding with the necessary paperwork, and God honors those laws as well. God takes marriage very seriously; it is a sacred covenant not to be taken lightly. To not want to obey the laws of marriage in society indicates that you are not ready to make the unbreakable covenant marriage requires.



    The Bible may not go into great detail about a wedding ceremony, but every culture that has ever existed has practiced some form of ceremony of joining a man and a woman together. God has built into human beings the understanding of a need for some form of wedding ceremony. Many understand Genesis 2:22-24 as God performing the first wedding ceremony


    That night Len and I took the vow that we were going to be together for the rest of our lifes. We were going to live our lifes for the Lord.We have been married for Ten years now. We may not of went about the right way of getting married. In our hearts We knew God wanted us together. We did ask God for, forgiveness. I know God forgave.

    I know in my Heart that God gave Little Len to us for many reasons. I asked God to Give him to Us and He did. God wants to use Lenny for something. So thats why I feel That if what we did was so wrong God would not have given him to us.

    I am sure as well, That he used this to teach others that sin is sin..We went to a very strong bible beliving church. I was the girl that went to church all the time read my bible every day Prayed..Went soulwinning. Never watched tv Just the news. Never went to dances. Stoped going to the moives. Then there were girls that Went to school in short skirts, pants. Went out with boys touched, danced with them..Then they would go to church all goodie goodie..No one saw what they did, they just saw how they acted in church. thought Wow what good Little christan girls..Then there was Heide Having a baby out of wedlock what a bad Christan..I know I was doing what I was to do..I just made one mistake. I lived my life for the Lord and took it to heart and tried to live my best. While some of the other girls took it as a joke, only did the things they had to do becasue, thats what their parents told them to do.

    Maybe it was Gods way to show everyone My faith even tho I did do something bad..I still lived my life for the Lord Or maybe it was God testing my Fatih who knows but God.

    So whos to say it was right or wrong..Only God.


    I know Deep in my Heart I am forgiven, Len and I have had our ups and downs..Even tho we got out of Chruch We kept The Lord in our lifes.We did make some mistakes while out of chruch, Drinking, It does not make us bad people, But brought us closer to the Lord.

    Even good Christan fall but its Gods way of making them Stronger and to show them that Even tho your close with God he still can send something to make you think twice.

    Anyways,Sorry for the long Post.
     
  12. Greg Linscott

    Greg Linscott
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    Absolutely!

    The whole picture here is that government functions as the "minister of God." I haven't met many pastors who carry a sword! [​IMG] The word is diakonos, also translated as "deacon" or "servant." Thayer's define it like this:
    The purpose of government is to maintain order in society- to be the "minister of God to s for good." One of the reasons we should be doing what we can to protect the definition of marriage as being between a man and a woman is because this should be the role of good government- to promote and encourgae good behavior through the implementation of just laws.

    So, according to this passage, keeping the speed limit and paying your taxes is a spiritual exercise. In the context of this topic, the government has the right (and even obligation) to encourage morality in its citizens by defining and regulating marriage.
     
  13. Greg Linscott

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    Heide,

    If you asked God for forgiveness, than you must understand on some level that what you did was wrong. There is nothing wrong with your marriage now, if you have settled this matter with Him.

    I do think it's dangerous, though, to hold on to this idea that somehow this action was justified or "okay" because you were getting married "in God's eyes." God can work through our confession of sin, but that still doesn't negate the fact that it was sin!
     
  14. AVL1984

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    Greg Perry, Sr.- I know that my sister and her husband got their license in Aiken, SC. They were told that they could either return in 24 hours and be married by an appropriate party, or they could just not come back and they would be married after 24 hours if they didn't have the license voided. They decided not to have the license voided and never went back. Some in GA, where they live, said their marriage wasn't "scripturally legal" because there was no ceremony. Ludicrous in my opinion. They made the commitment by getting the license in the first place. The State of SC says they are married, and have been for nearly 18 years. GA also agrees. But, there is one state they were thinking of moving to stating that the marriage must be performed by a minister, judge or other party that is legally capable of doing so.

    Are they scripturally married?? I believe so, though many churches don't.
     
  15. Heide

    Heide
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    We did ask God to forgive us..I think he used us to show others.

    Just as If you were a person who had a problem with drinking and you helped others In your mistakes.

    its no differnt Then Len and I having a baby.

    Sin is Sin..I never said It was Justified. I said that he used us.
     
  16. Gina B

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    Absolutely!

    The whole picture here is that government functions as the "minister of God." I haven't met many pastors who carry a sword! [​IMG] The word is diakonos, also translated as "deacon" or "servant." Thayer's define it like this:
    The purpose of government is to maintain order in society- to be the "minister of God to s for good." One of the reasons we should be doing what we can to protect the definition of marriage as being between a man and a woman is because this should be the role of good government- to promote and encourgae good behavior through the implementation of just laws.

    So, according to this passage, keeping the speed limit and paying your taxes is a spiritual exercise. In the context of this topic, the government has the right (and even obligation) to encourage morality in its citizens by defining and regulating marriage.
    </font>[/QUOTE]I don't know that many in office who are ministers of God for good. They are ministers of the government, and often for that which is not good and not scriptural. The Bible is referred to as a sword, and I commonly see it carried by pastors and other ministers of the word. I can honestly say I've never seen a President or a senator walk into a place for the purpose of a public address, open up a Bible, and teach that he is going to do such and such because it's the Godly thing to do, and show it from scripture.
    Have you?
    Gina
     
  17. Greg Linscott

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    Well, Gina, in this case, the sword is a reference to capital punishment and other deterrents that result from the presence of law enforcement (think the effect an armed police officer has in keeping the peace). Paul is not saying that all legal authorities are sold-out belivers. Quite the contrary was true of the Roman government that Paul lived under.

    The "good" accomplished by the government is our protection of everyday rights. For example, no one can take your home- because it legally belongs to you. That's a good that comes about becuase of the law and government.

    Ultimately, what Paul was saying was Christians are to be good, law abiding citizens, who obey the law of the land, pay their taxes ("tribute to whom tribute is due, custom to whom custom..."), and respect and honor those in authority because of their Divinely-ordained office. When people obey the law, whether they realize the spiritual implications or not, God's will is being carried out in the maintainence of an orderly society.
     
  18. Plain ol' Ralph

    Plain ol' Ralph
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    And when did that change? Modern times? God hasn't!
     
  19. GrannyGumbo

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    God is the same yesterday, today and forever!
     
  20. Gina B

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    Greg, is there a good reason to believe that it is speaking of civil authorities and capital punishment? It doesn't make sense to me that God would call broadly call all of the government workers doing His will, so I need to understand this more. Please explain why and how you came to that conclusion.
    Thanks.
    Gina
     

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