House Wife vs. Stay-at-Home-Mom

Discussion in 'General Baptist Discussions' started by Spinach, Mar 8, 2010.

  1. Spinach

    Spinach
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    The other night I was reading Becoming the Woman of His Dreams by Sharon Jaynes. In it, she recalled a time when women who didn't work outside the home were considered a "House Wife". Over time, this title became degrading in society, so it was changed to "Stay-at-Home-Mom", which is now changing to "Stay-at-Home-Parent". Or "Domestic Engineer". Sigh.

    I had never really given thought to the "House Wife" title, as it has not been used in quite some time. However, the more I think about it, the more I like it. It isn't degrading to me.

    Why is it that we feel we have to keep up with the trends of society? Why do we let society make our position in the home feel inferior---but if we give it a different name, all of the sudden we are empowered. The mind baffles.

    What are your thoughts on this?

    (FWIW, she also wrote about the former "Working Wife" that has become "Working-out-of-the-Home-Mom", "Working-at-Home-Mom", and now "Working-out-of-the-Home-Parent", etc. If you'd like to add those to your thoughts, you can do that as well)
     
  2. Revmitchell

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    The only people who worked to make it degrading are feminazis who are not credible anyway
     
  3. Spinach

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    I agree, but why did we adopt the new titles? Or are there still those who refer to themselves as House Wife?
     
  4. Revmitchell

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    I know quite a few.
     
  5. Spinach

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    I'm not sure I know any. I haven't even heard the title since I was a little girl. I think my Mom's generation may have been the last to use it as a general rule. My generation is SAHM, though it is evolving to SAHP (the latter, an attempt to eliminate any referrence to gender in the title).
     
  6. Revmitchell

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    That title only works for women who have children still at home. There are quite a few women out there in their 40's who have grown children and an empty nest.
     
  7. Spinach

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    That's where "domestic engineer" comes in.

    See, the title of SAHM doesn't bother me, except that it came in to take the place of "house wife". There was something degrading about being a house wife and it was far more noble to be referred to as a Stay at Home Mom. In the latter title, there was a sacrifice for the sake of the children. But it's neither noble nor acceptable in this day to be a simple House Wife.
     
  8. Revmitchell

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    In some circles I am sure that is true. But it is not as wide spread as you might think it is.
     
  9. Spinach

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    Perhaps

    I wonder if it's a generational thing.
     
  10. BlessedWife

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    I label myself as a homemaker. "Housewife" would imply that I'm only a wife who stays home or that I'm not a wife elsewhere. I'm also a stay-at-home mother, so I'm not specifically staying home just because I am a wife. I don't work outside of the home because I work hard during the day to create a warm, safe, comfortable environment for my family. I make the house a home.
     
  11. abcgrad94

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    I refer to myself as a homemaker, housewife, and stay-at-home-mom. None of these titles offend me. I think any of them are appropriate for my role.

    Once in a while someone will ask me if I work. . .and I tell them I'm a cook, teacher, chauffer, maid, nurse, seamstress, you name it. :laugh:
     
  12. rbell

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    I asked my wife, and she said to just call her "boss."

    Is that wrong?






    :eek: :D :D
     
  13. Scarlett O.

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    I'm a feminist and I never understood why people think that we think that stay-at-home-moms are in a degrading position.

    I've never understood why people force women to make a choice. You are either a wacko "feminazi" or you are a demur and frumpy "housewife". I reject both of those ideas.

    I think women are alot more substantial than either one of those terms. I find nothing degrading about the word "stay-at-home" mother or wife. I find nothing rebellious and evil about the word "career woman".

    I know plenty of women who do both and plenty of women who do only one.

    Why are we always pigeon-holing women? :flower:
     
  14. JohnDeereFan

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    If you ask my wife, she'll tell you that housewife or homemaker is fine with her.

    You know, we don't have a TV, so a lot of our entertainment comes from listening to old radio shows and one of the shows we like to listen to is "You Bet Your Life". For you younger folks, it was a game show in the 40's and 50's that starred Groucho Marx and a man and woman from the audience.

    Because this was the 40's and 50's, very few women worked outside the home, so those who weren't secretaries or school teachers would answer "homemaker" or "housewife" when Groucho asked them what they do for a living.

    The one thing that always strikes me about this is the great amount of pride they have in being homemakers. Today, many people look down on homemakers, but these ladies (another concept lost in today's society) recognized the importance of a homemaker and viewed it as a vocation and with just as much pride as a woman today would view being a doctor or a lawyer.

    It's a tragedy that we've lost that respect for homemakers because, be it doctor, lawyer, or indian chief, there is no greater calling for a woman than to be a Godly woman who is a helpmate to her husband and makes a home where her children are raised in the fear and admonition of the Lord.

    My wife, Julie, has a list of college degrees as long as your arm. She was a forensic accountant and routinely consulted with the FBI and other state and federal law enforcement agencies to help catch bad guys. She had a very exciting and fulfilling career.

    She didn't get fired from being a forensic accountant, she quit because she recognized that the world is full of forensic accountants, but that our children only have one mother and I only have one wife. She knew that our home needs her more than the world needs another accountant and so, in 1996, she quit her job and became a full time mom.

    Quite frequently, we'll be at a party or some other gathering and some woman (usually the one with the most expensive clothes and driving the Lexus) will turn her nose up at Julie's decision, saying something like "But you seem so smart!" or "Oh, doesn't being around children all day just drive you crazy?" or my personal favorite, "Oh, I wish I could just sit around the house all day, too."

    Too many people today just don't get it.
     
  15. Spinach

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    Nice post, JDF.

    Titles are evolving and I don't like it. I don't care if you stay at home or work out of the home. My beef is that the title is evolving to leave out the name "wife". And today, even the gender is being removed to say "parent" instead of "Mom".

    I think the evolution of it all is sad and more than a little telling.
     
  16. Jerome

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    What is driving Ms. Jaynes to pit the title houseWIFE against stay-at-home MOM rather than embrace them both?
    There are many titles—homemaker, lady of the house, keeper at home(Titus 2:5)—which controvert Ms. Jaynes's agenda-driven false dichotomy.
     
    #16 Jerome, Mar 8, 2010
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 8, 2010
  17. Spinach

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    The idea is that the title of Mom is more proudly embraced than Wife. As in, that being a Mom is more important than being a wife.

    She was not so much putting one vs. the other (as my title seems to suggest), so much as she was pointing out the evolution of it.
     
    #17 Spinach, Mar 8, 2010
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 8, 2010
  18. donnA

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    I think more then anything, it doesn't define the woman, but her role, what she does, shes a house wife, home maker, who also stays home to care for her children, verses a wife who has left her children's care to others. I'm not sure it was meant to degrade anyone, but define the rols she is fulfilling, house wife leave sout the children, mothers today are proud of their children enough to be with them raisng them themselves.
    I don't think I'd let some book guide my thinking to the point theres something wrong with me being called a mom.
     
    #18 donnA, Mar 8, 2010
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 8, 2010
  19. donnA

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    That would be me, and I call myself a homemaker, because I make a home for my husband to come home too, if I didn't it would be only a house,a building we take shelter in, I want more then that for him. When I had kids at home, I never worked, raising our kids was too important, then I called myself a stay at home mom, because thats what I was, a mom who was at home with her children.
     
  20. Spinach

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    It's not degrading. However, once the "feminazis" (as posted above) got ahold of the title, many women holding it felt degraded. So instead it evolved to "Stay-at-hom-Mom", which is also not degrading. This title held the unspoken badge of being educated and able to have a nice job outside the home, but sacrificed instead for the children. This title was much more than a simple housewife. Then it evolved to "domestic engineer" and "Stay-at-home-parent"---the first making the housewife sound far more intriguing, the latter removing gender.

    I really don't mind housewife, homemaker, or stay-at-home-Mom. What does bother me is the thought that society removed a perfectly good title because it wasn't good enough for women. It said that she was under the man.

    Make sense?
     

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