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How should Christian parents handle this

Discussion in 'General Baptist Discussions' started by freeatlast, Jan 10, 2012.

  1. menageriekeeper

    menageriekeeper Active Member

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    As Scarlett said, only when a person meets with the circumstances can they fully understand the answer but we have a good guideling:

    Will how you are responding to those in sin bring them closer to Christ or will it put them off?

    The folks in Freeatlast's lives might just need his reaction in order to really consider what they are doing.

    The folks in Padre's life might just need his reaction in order to really consider what they are doing.

    The folks in my life, will need my reaction.

    There isn't a one size fits all answer to a question like this.
     
  2. DaChaser1

    DaChaser1 New Member

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    Well, he actually gave the bride away, and has been involved in their lives, as he views Himself as the contact person for the Lord in this situation!
     
  3. freeatlast

    freeatlast New Member

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    That is his business, but don't call him godly if he makes a mockery out of the word of God by supporting the ungodly marriage. It would be no different then if he was in the practice of marrying a saved person to a lost person not related. We do not get by's because they are our children.
     
  4. DiamondLady

    DiamondLady New Member

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    slow down and re-read please. I said if they come INTO YOUR HOME with drugs in their pockets then YES you've done a poor job of parenting as you have not taught them as children to respect you and your home. They KNOW what your standards and practices are and should have been taught to respect them.

    I told our children that their bodies belonged to me until they were 18, after that their choices were their own. If they chose to pierce and tattoo them that was their business. It won't send them to jail like drugs will, but they know mom does not like, nor want to see it...so out they come and covered up they go. That's respect for me, as their mom. Same with the curse words.

    I recall a time, when they were young, that the word "dookie" was an active part of mealtime one evening at our home. (at the time it was an album out by a rock band, Green Day) After about the 20th time it was spoken, and the gales of laughter followed, I'd reached my peak of patience I said, "I never want to hear that word again." I have not, to this day, heard any of them say that word again. Point is, they knew where I stood on the issue and respected my authority. They are now 37, 32, and 29 and they still respect mom and dad and while our authority is no longer the same, they still know where we stand on things and do not bring it to our home. I respect them by not telling them what to do anymore. I don't tell them how to raise their children. They lived the example, now it's up to them.
     
  5. jaigner

    jaigner Active Member

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    You should be glad I'm not your child.

    Not like I make much use of profanity, but I wouldn't be able to help pushing you on this.

    I would also guess that, if you have children, they probably are as disgustingly judgmental and unloving as you are or are completely ashamed of you.
     
  6. glfredrick

    glfredrick New Member

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    Of note, there IS a place for "tough love" where one is intentionally put out of relationship in order to demonstrate more fully how large a problem the sin issue actually is, but that, like the Matthew 18 discipline issue, ought to be one handled in concert with the congregation so as to provide a support mechanism for those so doing.

    I've often found that those "shunning" someone else suffer as much or more from the shunning as they do from the sin that they are trying to avoid, which seems to me then that the sin is just as much evident in the breaking of the relationship as it is with the problem in the first place.
     
  7. DaChaser1

    DaChaser1 New Member

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    The wedding and marriage IS legitimate in sight of God,a s he instituted that marriage was of Him...

    we can both agree that his daughter should NOT have married the unsaved boy before hand BUT the pastor needed to show that he would see and recognize that once made"official" was now the Will of god that those 2 be married!

    just make sure that we realise that jesus showed us that we newed to foolow the SPIRIT NOT LETTER of the law!
     
  8. freeatlast

    freeatlast New Member

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    No the marriage was not of God. The only marriage that is of God is one between two believers. All marriage is marriage, but not all marriages are of God. You seem to confuse the two.
    I fear you do not understand what it means to follow in Spirit and not the letter. It would be different if the Pastor had recognized the marriage after the ceremony, while makling it clear it was not of the Lord, but not sponsoring it like he did. My guess is that they married in a church by a Pastor which just made the event smell even worse. He is in my opinion has a part in their sin.
     
    #48 freeatlast, Jan 11, 2012
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 11, 2012
  9. DaChaser1

    DaChaser1 New Member

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    ALl marriages are ordained by God in the sense that the two have joined in the in a covenant relationship, have become 1 flesh...

    God instituted and ordained the marriage relationship between a man and a woman, he honors that, even IF it is non christians, and doesn't the Bible itself say the believing Wife 'sanctifies" the marriage and their children of it?
     
  10. freeatlast

    freeatlast New Member

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    Marriage is ordained, but not marriage between the lost or the lost and the saved. God does not honor ungodly marriages. God does honor the institution but not the marriage itself if it violates His standards. That is why marriage between a man and a man or a woman and a woman is not honored. It violates His principles. Marriage between a saved person and an unsaved person also violates His principles.
    As to the passage in 1Cor 7 you referred to it reads;
    For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.

    That is proof that God does not accept any marriage where both people are lost as their children are unclean. It also is not justification for disobedience in marrying an unbeliever. The only thing that God has done there is sanctify that marriage so that the children are not unclean because there is one Christian in the marriage. It is not a justification to marry the lost. You must keep the passage in context. The passage was dealing with both already married while lost, and that was the case being dealt with in Corinth, and one becomes a believer. It is not an offer to disregard the standards and think all is well. I assume it would also apply even in those who reball and marry an unbeliever, but the marriage was still sin.
     
  11. agedman

    agedman Well-Known Member
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    Actually, there is disagreement in your view on marriage, too.

    God honors all marriages (with the exception noted at the end of the post).

    There is no "honoring the institution" and not honoring the marriage.

    That is not found in the scriptures.

    Your view is far from being proved by Scripture.

    You have taken one passage and attempted to make a standard that even God doesn't warrant.

    If in doubt go back to the mosaic law of husband death and wife being given to the next in kin with the wife having no choice in the matter.

    God clearly approves of marriage. He is the one that started the marriage.

    To show your extreme position look at the first marriage.

    Were Adam and Woman married?

    Where was the ceremony?

    Where were the vows before God?

    I suppose that God served as best man, groomsmen, preacher, and that Adam and Woman (for that is what Adam called her while in Eden) wrote there own vows.

    I suppose that the arranged marriages throughout the Scriptures were not honorable and "sanctified" by God according to your view.

    Folks, here are some brief questions and answers to bring clarity:

    Is there a special sign of significance to believers being married? Yes

    Is marriage a picture type of the relationship of Christ to the church? Yes

    Is there a problem with a believer and unbeliever being unequally yoked? Yes

    Is this all addressed in Scriptures? Yes

    Is marriage honorable? Yes

    Is there any "dis" honorable (sinful) marriages? Yes - same sex unions
     
  12. freeatlast

    freeatlast New Member

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    Marriage is ordained, but not marriage between the lost or the lost and the saved. God does not honor ungodly marriages. God does honor the institution but not the marriage itself if it violates His standards. That is why marriage between a man and a man or a woman and a woman is not honored. It violates His principles. Marriage between a saved person and an unsaved person also violates His principles.
    As to the passage in 1Cor 7 you referred to it reads;
    For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.

    That is proof that God does not accept any marriage where both people are lost as their children are unclean. It also is not justification for disobedience in marrying an unbeliever. The only thing that God has done there is sanctify that marriage so that the children are not unclean because there is one Christian in the marriage. It is not a justification to marry the lost. You must keep the passage in context. The passage was dealing with both already married while lost, and that was the case being dealt with in Corinth, and one becomes a believer. It is not an offer to disregard the standards and think all is well. I assume it would also apply even in those who reball and marry an unbeliever, but the marriage was still sin.
     
  13. agedman

    agedman Well-Known Member
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    Repeating a post is not validation of support for your view.
     
  14. DaChaser1

    DaChaser1 New Member

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    per the Bible only...

    the institution of marriage was set up by God for the benefit of mankind...

    ALL marriages, IF done by the legitimate authority recognized toperform the rite, are seen as valid in sight of God...

    Christians SHOULD JUST marryfellow Christians, BUT if disobey the lord and marry an unsaved, God would still recognize and honor their marriage as being valid, as would be now 1 flesh in His sight!

    So ALL marriages would be viewed as valid and honored by god, its just that he has special requirements for his own children, would ask them to do it His way!
     
  15. Winman

    Winman Active Member

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    You know, you are going to give your identity away if you continue to end all your sentences with an exclamation mark.
     
  16. DaChaser1

    DaChaser1 New Member

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    think everyone knows who I am already!
     
  17. Aaron

    Aaron Member
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    They don't come over. It's as simple as that. There is no tolerance for that degree of deviance. It would be a lack of love for my child to allow her to think this behavior has any acceptance in nature, let alone of God, and it would be hatred of my wife, my other children and my neighbors to condone it.
     
  18. DaChaser1

    DaChaser1 New Member

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    So IF matthew was to invite jesus to talk to a den of tax collectors and prostitutes, the lord would say "No way?"
     
  19. agedman

    agedman Well-Known Member
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    If this is a daughter, then Biblically it seems she is still ultimately under the father's umbrella of authority (this is why in marriage a father gives away the bride, but the groom stands alone as a representative of the new home. The authority is shifted from father to husband).

    Therefore, the daughter would be welcome without the partner, and the rest of the community of neighbors can butt out of the family business.

    If it is a son, then nope. No coming back without repentance and evidence of change. (think prodigal son illustration)

    A young man launches from the home to start his own life and living. There is no "umbrella of protection" so to speak offered as there is for the daughter.

    Love is tough on all.
     
  20. DaChaser1

    DaChaser1 New Member

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    Right if they were to call you and invite you and your wife to meet them for lunch at a restaurant?
     
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