How to deal with a quarelsome wife

Discussion in 'General Baptist Discussions' started by JohnnyReb, Oct 2, 2013.

  1. JohnnyReb

    JohnnyReb
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    Here lately brothers I have been under a lot of stress. I have been practicing repentance from my sins and it had had been a long process. I wasn't strong enough to stamp them all out the first day but over time I have repented from my drinking, foul language, anger, gossip, the list goes on.

    The problem is my wife isn't all in tune with repenting from hers and it is causing tension in the household. I find myself practicing repentance while my wife continues her bad habits. The ones that bother me the most are anger outbursts at the children and foul language. She is an adult person and I cannot force her to stop using bad language and saying anything about it makes her angry. I find myself often sitting outside in the garage to avoid these things and keeping my daughter occupied with me outside to keep her from bad language as much as I can.

    This may not sound like a big deal but it is a big deal to me. It is so hard to become more like Christ when your own household is out of controll. These days a man cannot do anything about it for fear of divorce and being separated from his children. I do not want divorce but I fear it will either be divorce and hurting the children even more or me living in fear of her anger and the children continually exposed to it.

    So far the only solution I have is to forgive and to continually pray that God will convict her heart of its sin. Lord knows I'm a sinner too but I'm striving everyday to correct it.
     
  2. jonathanD

    jonathanD
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    Brother, you can't correct it. Stopping drinking or cussing doesn't keep you from being a sinner. Christ is the only thing that can keep you from being a sinner. The same is true for your wife. Her issue isn't her behavior but her understanding and application of the Gospel.

    As you continue in your struggle, I urge you to keep a firm grasp on the Gospel. It will give you incredible patience and love for your wife as you understand that any lasting change in your behavior comes only through the Gospel.

    Prayers from Louisiana.
     
  3. preacher4truth

    preacher4truth
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    Well, we will pray for you. If I were you, I'd lose the 'D' word from your vocabulary.
     
  4. thisnumbersdisconnected

    thisnumbersdisconnected
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    Solomon counseled "living in a corner of the roof." Same thing, using a quiet part of the house to escape.

    I agree, don't allow the "D" word to creep into your vocabulary. God has an answer that doesn't include that process. Both of you need to seek it, but you're going to have to get her to quiet down long enough to hear you, rather than "losing it" when you try to point out her anger and foul language.

    Perhaps it is the way in which you say it?

    Sounds silly, perhaps, but presentation is everything. A loving, gentle, concerned attitude, rather than a reaction to the latest outburst, is the best way to share your desires to resolve these issues with her. Pray, seek the Lord's wisdom in choosing your best opportunity, and let His words flow from you mouth. I think you will be be amazed at the results.
     
  5. JohnnyReb

    JohnnyReb
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    Thank you for the kind and honest replies brothers

    I never implied that I was not a sinner. But I am practicing repentance as Christ ordered me to do. My wife seems to have no desire to repent from hers and it creates tension.I have never mentioned divorce verbally. I was implying that me pushing back to hard could lead to such a terrible thing. As I said there's nothing I can do but pray and set the best example I can as the man and apiritual leader of the household. I do hold strong to the gospel and if it wasn't for the gospel of Christ I wouldn't have the patients that I do
     

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