How to handle a situation...

Discussion in 'Pastoral Ministries' started by steveo, Nov 15, 2010.

  1. steveo

    steveo
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    Have you pastors ever dealt with someone that always speaks up at the end of service or at a meeting and talks and talks and never quits.
    I can see people as they are talking and they are frustrated.
    How would you handle it in a Christ like way?
     
  2. annsni

    annsni
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    Oh, heavens - have we ever dealt with this. The best way to deal with it is to privately address it with the person. Explaining a little about being a servant and putting ourselves aside for the benefit of others would start my conversation and then I'd get into how I know they have a lot to talk about but I've noticed that they do not allow the other person to speak as well and that maybe that makes people frustrated. All done gently and in a caring, brotherly manner usually makes a difference. Be prepared for defenses coming up because that's just natural but if they are seeking God, they will pray about it and see the need for change. If they don't, it's OK to start stepping into the conversation to stop it (again, in a gentle way).

    UGH - I hate things like this. We had a guy that did the same thing - but always with women. I purposely avoided him and would walk the other way to go the long way to my destination so I didn't have to speak to him. He SO creeped me out. Fortunately he left but one of our pastors DID speak to him and after having to do it a few times finally had to come straight out and tell him that he creeped ALL of the women out. :BangHead:
     
  3. Tom Bryant

    Tom Bryant
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    I am assuming that you are saying that he speaks up before the service is dismissed. We had a man who was doing that. He would raise his hand and I would simply ignore it and dismiss the service. Then he started speaking up, I would interrupt him and say "Thank you Brother ____, for that good word. Have a great afternoon folks and we'll see you tonight!"

    You can't let him exert control over how a service ends. But Ann is right about talking privately with him if he continues to try.

    In a meeting, you might say, "Let's see what others think." People will eventually stop even trying to speak if he continues.
     
  4. Crucified in Christ

    Crucified in Christ
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    Steveo,

    These situations are always difficult; what I am sure you are hoping to find is a way to deal with this so that it discontinues without the speaker becoming offended. This is nearly impossible to do. If he is doing this repeatedly, then he is either oblivious to the problem he is causing or he simply does not care.

    A friend of mine in the ministry was just telling me about a situation right now where a person continuously interrupts his weekday Bible study. Apparently he means well, but he continuously interrupts the teaching to tell personal stories and illustrations. If a question is asked, everyone else will give a short answer, while he will go into a literal five minute story. My friend said that people are growing increasingly frustrated as is evidenced by body language and an occasional "joking" comment. I think he doesn't deal with it because he is worried about hurting the guy's feelings; on the other hand, I think he fears the class falling apart if he does not.

    What I am trying to say is that these situations are usually difficult and there is no ideal way to resolve them. I think we have to stand on what is good for the entire body and that necessitates speaking to the person directly. I will say a quick prayer for your situation.
     
  5. TomVols

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    Are you giving him the floor? Do you end with the obligatory "Does anyone have anything else to say?" If so, this practice should end at once. I see no Biblical reason to have it. I see no practical reason for it.
     
  6. steveo

    steveo
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    Thanks for all the help and Tomvols it is sometimes at the end of service and I do ask if there is any announcements.
    It happens at other times too. I think I will stop asking questions at the end and just dismiss after prayer.
     
  7. TomVols

    TomVols
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    What other times would it happen?
     
  8. jaigner

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    Cut him or her off and make a joke out of it. Tell them that everyone's pot roast will be dry if they wait any longer.

    Or, talk to them privately and tell them politely that they are cordially invited to shut up already.

    It's really not as hard as it seems. If they are a real blockhead, embarrassing them won't work. So tell them directly.
     
  9. SaggyWoman

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    Or you could have the band / musicians just start playing a goodbye hymn/song/chorus//////
     
  10. annsni

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    Kind of like the Oscars?? LOL
     
  11. Earth Wind and Fire

    Earth Wind and Fire
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    I used to laugh when a noted Baptist Pastor would invite someone out in the back to have a real meaningful discussion & settle it there. I like feisty Pastors not afraid to get their hands dirty....in this case bloody. LOL
     
  12. steveo

    steveo
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    Tomvols, it has happened in Bible studies and meetings, etc....
    I think the last post is right, it might be best to duke it out,lol:)
     

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