How to tell the TRUTH

Discussion in 'Fundamental Baptist Forum' started by jch-singer, Apr 2, 2007.

  1. jch-singer

    jch-singer
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    Hi,
    I am Joshua, and I have spun a web of lies and have hurt some people that I really love, and now they have turn a deaf ear, how do I tell them that I still love them, and want to tell the truth? :tear:
     
  2. NaasPreacher (C4K)

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    "I have to apologise to you. I have been living a lie and my lies have hurt you and many others. Would you please forgive me and help to sort things out in my life?"
     
  3. jch-singer

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    I see your point, :thumbs: but if they will not listen how do you then let them know that you are sorry and that you still love them? :type:
     
  4. Squire Robertsson

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    First, remember God only expects you to do what you can do and you can't change anybodyelse's heart or mind. However, you yourself can have the proper mindset and heart attitude.

    Second, rely on the working of God the Holy Spirit in the situation(s). However, God is not in a hurry and His timing is perfect for the resolution (which may or may not happen this side of Glory, His call on the when).

    Third, guard yourself against anger, bitterness and an accussing attitude. These are natural reactions to this kind of problem, but are not fruits of the Spirit.

    Hope this helps.
     
  5. abcgrad94

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    Once trust is broken, your words are pointless. The best way to convince someone you're sorry is to completely turn away from the very behavior that hurt them. In your case, stop lying and tell the truth. Prove you're trustworthy if/when someone takes the risk to trust you again. It's not going to happen overnight. You have to earn it back, and depending on how deeply you hurt the other person(s) it will take a considerable amount of time. By the way, don't forget to ask their forgiveness and then God's.
     
  6. jch-singer

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    Thank you, it helps alot.:wavey:
     
  7. jch-singer

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    Thanks for the advice I will do that. :thumbs: If you don't mind me asking what part of WV are you from?:type:
     
  8. rbell

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    It was hinted at, but I'll say it straightforward:

    It's not your job to "get them to forgive you." You're required to turn from the sin (repent), and ask forgiveness.

    Should they choose to not forgive, that is an issue between themselves and God. And through Christ's parables, He made it clear that it's a much better idea to forgive than to hold to bad attitudes and actions.

    May God bless you as you seek to turn things around through His power.
     
  9. gb93433

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    People can recognize humility and when they do then they will listen to your words backed by action.
     
  10. jch-singer

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    I prayed and then got to tell some of the people that I was sorry and I was a changed man now, and so far people have forgiven me. :godisgood:
     
  11. Jon-Marc

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    What if you can't get the person(s) to listen to you in order to apologize? What if they have said, "I don't want any more to do with you?" That happened to me with one of my daughters. She has some serious emotional issues, and in my ignorance of how to deal with it I turned her against me. She doesn't take constructive criticism well, and I'm no good at doing it the right way. I learned a valuable lesson--to keep my mouth shut. She told me my words are hollow.

    So telling someone what to say does no good if the person(s) that they hurt won't listen. My email to her has been blocked. She won't read a letter from me or talk to me on the phone.
     
  12. jch-singer

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    I will be praying for you brother.:praying:
     
  13. Squire Robertsson

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    Jon-Marc, I'll repeat some of what I said on the first page.

    As long as our attitude is right, God only expects and requires us to do what we can do. He does not expect and require us to do what we can't do.

    There are times when all we can do is:
    • pray for the Holy Spirit to heal the other person.
    • pray for Satan not to have a hand in the situation. Remember he is the accuser of the brethren.
    • wait. God is in charge. His timing is perfect (though we wish He'd hurry up).
     
  14. NaasPreacher (C4K)

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    My hart breaks for you in this matter. I have five sons and only one daughter.

    I wish I had an easy answer that would work.

    Just a thought - how about sending flowers with a note that says something like. "I am sorry. Can you give me one more chance. Love, Dad"
     
  15. rufus

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    My own son

    Years ago, my son graduated High school and stormed out of my house, affirming that he was tired of being a preachers/pastors's son. Off to the Marines he went. He lived in such a way as to let his dad know that he repudiated everything he had ever heard me preach and teach. He was bitter and despised his mom and me (though he claimed he "loved" us).

    Twenty-Five years later, my son is BACK. :tear: He is repentant and receptive. :tear:

    :godisgood: It takes time for God to work. And HE does Work!:applause:
     
  16. mcdirector

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    Absolutely wonderful advice on this thread!

    One of the hardest things I've had to learn is that I'm only responsible for my actions. I may be embarrassed or hurt by someone else's actions, but the only thing I can do is to make sure that mine are in line with God's Word. That I've searched my heart when there is conflict so that if I am at fault, I can apologize. But again, I'm only responsible for what I can do.

    That praying and waiting part -- That's hard, but necessary.

    I do like Roger's flower idea. :thumbs:
     
  17. Jon-Marc

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    Although I'm retired and money is limited (especially with all my medical bills), I suppose I could try that.
     
  18. NaasPreacher (C4K)

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    Wouldn't have to be anything fancy or extravagant. The size of the bouquet isn't what matters - she needs to know her dad loves her and wants to try again - thats all.
     
  19. Squire Robertsson

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    I'd see what the charges are for a simple FTD bouquet. Carnations are usually the least expensive. Daisies are the cheapest. But a bouquet of four roses with baby's breath is an alternative.

    If she's a mother, I'd wait for Mother's Day. If they came right out of the blue, she might be suspicious they came from you and reject the deilvery. On Mother's Day, well, let's call that hidding in plain sight. :laugh:
     
    #19 Squire Robertsson, Apr 4, 2007
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 4, 2007
  20. Jon-Marc

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    No, she's not a mother. All my grandkids are from the younger one. Her birthday is in December. She might think they're from her husband until she saw the card, if he ever does that kind if thing.
     

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