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Discussion in 'General Baptist Discussions' started by gerald285, Jan 1, 2007.
This command is one that needs much work in our lives. What do you feel is involved in this command?
I think the command for husbands to dwell with their wives "according to knowledge" plays a large part. Simply knowing and accepting and remembering we're wired differently is important.
Not sure, but I believe the Greek tense carries the idea of "Husbands, keep on loving your wives..."
A good idea, to be sure.
Somehow, that part seems to get reciprocated, there in my home, at least.
The scripture says to love them as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her. So i would conclude that the man is to make the decision to give himself the same way. He is to never again to live his life for himself. He is to totally surrendered himself to leading and nurturing her in a holy life by his own actions.
Personally, my wife :love2: is very happy to let me have her way, and I reciprocate by letting her have my way. :thumbsup:
Gerald is absolutely correct that part of loving your wife is providing good leadership in the home. There are a lot of well meaning Christian men who fail in this regard.
So whats not to love??? :saint:
Seriously, ever noticed how the husband is called to love, but the wife is not?
The wife is called to obey, and the husband is not.
Loving one's wife as Christ loves the church also means that as Christ gave himself to cleanse and sanctify the church, so should men give themselves to cleanse and sanctify their wives through the teaching of Scripture in word and deed.
Were you looking for a list, Tater? :smilewinkgrin:
Yep, I guess that part about submitting ONE to ANOTHER is just extra fluff that God decided to throw in...
(21) Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.
(22) Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
(23) For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
(24) Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so [let] the wives [be] to their own husbands in every thing.
(25) Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
Verse 21 gives the overview... then Paul defines the husband's and wive's role in submitting.
We submit to one another...
We are equal.
Except that Christ is not and was not "totally surrendered to leading and nurturing [the church]." Christ was (and husbands should be) totally surrendered to following the will of the Father. Contrastingly, Christ said that we must figuratively "hate" our own families to serve God.
Love is a Value, a Level of Esteem that, if appropriate, results in many of the actions listed above. To love one's wife as "Christ loved the church and gave himself for it" is to understand her value relative to God and relative to the world.
All your favorite dictionaries aside, love is not a list of actions or a system of behavior: like faith, love is a choice we make that results in behavior appropriate to the needs of the person we love.
Paul describes all of this in the context of the relationship between Christ and the Church. Surely you don't suggest that Paul is tell us that Christ and the Church are to mutually submit to one another? There is both a leadership position and a submissive position in both the Christ/Church relationship and the Husband/Wife relationship.
Titus 2:4 says that part of discipleship for women is the older women teaching the younger women to love their husbands.
the command to love your wife is followed with a command to the wife,
ephesians 5: 33 Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband
thank you, Pastor Larry. And certainly our husbands our at least as close as the neighbors we are told to love as we love ourselves...
Just a note about submission here -- it does not mean the other person is 'bossy' and you have to give in. My husband submits to me in the sense that he always considers me before himself. It is a part of his loving me. He does not consider it unmasculine or out of role for him as a husband.
My submission to him is the same. Consider him first -- his likes and dislikes, his health and wellbeing. It also is a matter of him deciding anything that we might disagree on. The funny thing is, and he mentions this in his lectures on marriage, the Holy Spirit in me is never going to be at odds with the Holy Spirit in him, so when we are not sure of which way to go, we pray about it. And God is always faithful to show us which way to go. So I guess I have to say in all honesty we have never seriously disagreed about anything major. I checked that last sentence with Barry and he said "True. Absolutely true."
Now, that being said, we won't discuss how he is the king of punsters and drops his r's and occasionally raises eyebrows of strangers by using the Australian term 'mate' with them....but then when I married an Australian, I got part of Australia, too. :laugh:
Yes indeedy they are called to love their husbands
In fact--for a wife not to love her husband --- she blasphemes the word of God
Here we go again.
Verse 21 belongs with 15-21. The command is not for husbands to obey their wives, but for wives to obey their husbands as the church is to obey Christ, and the command is for husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church.
The man leads, the woman follows.
Kick all you want against that, but that's the Scriptures.
I've always believed we "conveniently" overlook that verse also.
My understanding, based on watching a Godly father and mother practice biblical marriage for 47 years, is that....
A husband is to surrender himself to the marriage by imitating the love of Christ. That is, by sacrificing his daily life for the sole purpose the edification of his wife. And this has absolutely nothing to do with bringing home a paycheck. It has to do with making himself so obedient to God in word, deed, thought, action, and inner motivation....a man so prostrate in submission before God that his daily and routine existence beckons for his wife to follow him. And she gladly grasps his hand and goes where he goes....in every sense of the word. And thereby, they live their life, as one flesh, in harmony with each other and harmony with God.
A wife is to surrender herself to the marriage by imitating the church. That is, by being in such complete reverence for her husband and having such absolute respect for him that she deems him as absolutely trustworthy and deserving of her trust. This has absolutely nothing to do with washing his underwear nor being made to stay at home. She should be at a place of total trust in God to the point that she find her husband so trustworthy that she places her life in his hands. Not for him to control her, but to exalt her to a place of Godliness.
His sacrifice of his own self for the marriage's sake and his love for her exalts her.
Her denial of her own self for the marriage's sake and her reverence for him exalts him.
Both are humble before God and before each other. Each are exalted by the other.
Unfortunately, we have turned the loving headship of a husband into a picture of a power mogul whose only responsibility is to put a paycheck on the table and to make and enforce all of the "rules". And instead of a place of honor....well, command central.
And we have relagated the wife's call of reverence of her husband into a very long and endless list of menial household chores and childcare and we have made her someone who has no responsibility in the marriage, only a cold duty and instead of a place of honor, a place of.....well, a "place".
i don't see what the problem is, everywhere you go, when youb ahve more then one person someone has to be in charge, even in marriage, as God commands. A wife submitting to her husband in no way makes her less then him in anyway what so ever, it is a christian woman accepting her christian husbands authority. even he is under anothers authority, God's. As Christ loved the church and gave Himself for it, a husband is to love his wife like this, that means she is not a door mat to be walked on, not a slave to be ordered around no matter whst. But to be gently, lovinging guided, with grace. Some christian women have a problem with this, but equally some christian men have a problem with the command, some have a problem not knowing how Christ loved the church then applying that to their marriage. A husband in not master of the univer, and his wife in a do or die situation. men must rmember the love her part, not just love her but love her like christ loved the church. Most men need to get that part down.
Scarlett, as usualy, great post.