Hypothetical Situation

Discussion in 'General Baptist Discussions' started by superwoman8977, Jun 27, 2008.

  1. superwoman8977

    superwoman8977
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    Suppose you have a woman with other children who is part of your church. She announces to her friends or people she thought she was "friends" with that she is pregnant and that the baby is not her husbands, plus they are in the middle of a divorce. What would you all do? Bear in mind that this woman is looking for love and support. We are actually going through this with a woman in our church right now and people are angry because several have reached out to be there for her and then others have tried to get her to leave the church. I guess my take on this is that yeah she made a mistake but she has repented to the Lord and we are to love all people so as compassionate as people are in here just wanted to know what you all think?
     
  2. Sopranette

    Sopranette
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    I would try to be supportive, and not judge. Pregnancy is difficult enough without having to go through it alone. It is not for me to judge what she did, or how that child came to be. She and her child will continue to need the church's support spiritually even after the child is born. Really, why she would announce such a thing to anyone in her church is beyond me. People ARE going to talk, though they shouldn't! If churches were to start turning away everyone who was to make a mistake, there wouldn't be anyone left!

    love,

    Sopranette
     
    #2 Sopranette, Jun 27, 2008
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 27, 2008
  3. menageriekeeper

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    If there was true repentence there should be compassion, understanding and help.

    But what some call repentence is little more than saying I'm sorry I got caught. This may be what the naysayers in your church are afraid is happening. They may fear encouraging further sin in her life by not allowing her to suffer the full consequences of her immorality.

    God speaks in no uncertain terms about the consequence of immorality. It something that should not be tolorated in our churches. Those of your who are trying to help this woman need to be sure that true repentance has occurred and true repentance in this case means that it's not going to happen again!

    If this woman is still living the same old life, running around with a man who is not her husband and having a s*xual relationship with him, then there has been no repentance. In this case, the church leadership has every right to ask her to leave the church until such time as she can be brought back into fellowship as truely repentant. Her children, however, should still be welcome and encourage to attend church. Her sin is not their sin.
     
  4. jdlongmire

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    hmm - If the woman understands and is repentant of her sin and wants to work toward reconciling the problem, I say full support with no qualms.

    If she does not fit that criteria, then very cautious support - God may be using her circumstance to break her rebellion and bring her to him or she is unregenerate and full support is robbing others of blessing.

    I'd gently and lovingly probe her out and work from there.
     
  5. superwoman8977

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    Okay then lets throw another wrench in the fire. The woman does not want to get married again, wants to have her relationship with this man and with Christ and see where this goes. After all I have been through I have to support her on this one. Because basically you are all saying she cannot be a child of God and not be married to this man. Why is that, who are we to judge her?
     
  6. Thinkingstuff

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    I wouldn't do anything since I'm a guy and I think women should handle the councelling thing with a woman in her shoes. I wouldn't treat her like an outcast or anything. I'd smile and pray for her and her family and if they needed anything like food or something then give the support to the female folk to pass it on. Keep in mind I'm not a pastor.
     
  7. Joe

    Joe
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    1 Cor 6:9 Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind,

    It's great she has you to support her and guide her into understanding God's will. Remind her of this verse above and others which apply to her situation. I would continue to show compassion, and Pray outloud with her. Especially for her to gain strength to leave her fornicating situation and live within God's will.
     
  8. donnA

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    A married woman who is pregant with another man's baby, and wants to continue with that extra marital relationship has no sympathy from me. If she wants to be Christ like and repentant, then she'll break it off with the other man and seek a relationship with her husband and see if God can't heal the marriage.
    When she decides to be biblical, then I'll sympathize with her.
     
  9. menageriekeeper

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    Matthew 6:24 No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon.

    (mammon meaning the things of this world including immoral activities)

    If she refuses to leave an adulterous relationship then she is in direct rebellion against the commands of God and she has NOT repented.

    This is why so many have refused to help her. Now I'm not saying you should do that. But you should be very careful that she understands that one cannot "believe in God" while directly disobeying what God tells us. If she then decides she no longer wants you around because you are being "judgemental" then you should leave her be. It is not you who are judging her but God.

    If she allows you to point out what God has to say about her situation, take that as a sign that He is working on her heart and carefully provide help while not encouraging her in continued sin.
     
  10. Sopranette

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    Well, this thread concerns me. THIS is why so many non believers don't attend church. Would YOU want to go to church where everyone is shunning and gossiping about you behind your back? Where people are looking down their nose at your beautiful, innocent newborn? I wouldn't. I've BEEN the outsider, it's not a good place to be, believe me.

    love,

    Sopranette
     
  11. Joe

    Joe
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    I think you read it incorrectly. This lady told everyone without shame that she is having another man's baby despite belonging to another man. Her conscious is quite seared.
    No, I would not want to attend church with a lady whom spats on everything God and the church stands for by openly telling everyone about her escapades, and the result of such. Then pointing fingers making false accusations that the church people who do not allow her to continue on her path to hell without rebuke or at least some godly guidance, are not her friends. Makes no sense.
     
  12. Joe

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    And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove [them]. Ephesians 5:11

    Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners,
But his delight is in the law of the Lord; and in his law doth he meditate day and night.
And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth for his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper.
The ungodly are not so: but are like the chaff which the wind drives away.
Therefore the ungodly shall not stand in the judgment, nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous.
For the Lord knoweth the way of the righteous: but the way of the ungodly shall perish.
Psalms 1:1-6




    If this lady is a church member and continues to parade her sin openly, without showing the fruits of repentance, then she needs to be removed from church membership.
     
    #12 Joe, Jun 27, 2008
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 27, 2008
  13. StefanM

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    Well said, Joe. This isn't a situation of a gossiping, mean church. It's a situation of unrepentant sin.
     
  14. Sopranette

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    The OP stated that this woman HAS repented. What more to some of you require her to do?

    love,

    Sopranette
     
  15. ewings

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    If this lady is a church member, and continues to display her sin openly without show

    Church discipline is difficult to do and must be used sparingly, but there are times and circumstances where discipline is called for. This sounds like that time! I think this is my first post ever so don't be too harsh on me. (I have seen newbees ripped apart for thoughts like this.) I do understand the need for forgiveness but I don't see any recourse but church discipline. Either she repents (& changes) or the church is not fulfilling her duties. I have been a part of one such event as pastor in 20+ years. And it was sad, but needed.
     
  16. StefanM

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    __________________

    What of that statement? That's not repentance. That's lip service.
     
  17. Pastor Larry

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    This isn't the reason why so many unbelievers aren't attending church. It may be the reason that many unbelievers are attending church and thinking it is okay ... because the church doesn't stand against sin.

    Here is a woman who is married and pregnant with another man's child, and the church isn't supposed to say anything about it? What was her repentance? And if she has repented, why does she want to continue in the sinful relationship?

    This seems a case where a public confession needs to be made before the church, along with a complete cutting off of the adulterous relationship.

    How about cutting off the adulterous relationship?

    Showing compassion here is not the issue. We should show compassion, but there must be repentance and fruits of repentance.
     
  18. Sopranette

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    Is it me, then, who feels there is more to this story than prestented? The OP says one thing, then says this woman is still having relations with someone other than her former husband. Well, which is it? Either way, the child to be is innocent of all this and should be spared.

    love,

    Sopranette
     
  19. StefanM

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    There seems to be much more here, Sopranette.
     
  20. Sopranette

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    If that is the case, I don't appreciate being lied to, and making me say things based on false information. I won't post anymore on this thread until this is sorted out.

    love,

    Sopranette
     
    #20 Sopranette, Jun 27, 2008
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 27, 2008

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