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I’ve turned into my parents (sort of).

Discussion in '2003 Archive' started by David Mark, Jul 14, 2003.

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  1. David Mark

    David Mark New Member

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    I’ve turned into my parents (sort of).

    When I was a young sapling, I could never understand why my mother did not comprehend my tastes in music. Once for my birthday, she bought me a tape of a popular group. It was a “best guess” on her part but she missed the mark. Nevertheless, it was definitely the thought that I reflect on now. I love her deeply for her effort.

    Folks that were much older than myself joked about the music my generation liked. In my simple mind I “lumped” them into the box labeled Generation Gap.

    Now I’m older and I understand something. My taste in music had been cemented into my formative mind years ago. I resist all the new stuff and cling to the styles I grew up with. Emotional links to music further cemented a style that appeals to my mind. As an example: There was this popular song that was playing on the radio when my wife was “in love” with me. If I hear that song I remember her. Then there was that song that was playing on the radio when my wife was falling “out of love” with me. If I hear that song and it hits me at a weak moment, I get depressed over my loss of her.

    I’m just being honest about myself here: Even in church I “resist” the new stuff. I don’t care if the words are perfect; it’s the style I resist. I resist it even to the point where I cannot join in with the corporate voice. I feel terrible about it.

    On the way to church I sing to the Lord. In the hallways of the church I sing to the Lord. In Wal-Mart I sing (to myself) praise songs all the time. Sometimes if you are one isle over and you listen carefully you can just barely hear “Amazing Grace” or “I love to tell the story”. In my heart I have my favorite songs playing on an endless loop. Instruments are not really required.

    When I join the congregation, my tongue is stuck to the roof of my mouth and I am ashamed of myself. When I realize this and how this may look to others, I make an attempt to force the songs out. Then as I examine my actions I realize that I might be trying to please men and my tongue is again stuck to the roof of my mouth. So I ask the Lord if I am being disobedient and then I ask him to help me understand the war in my mind. I think that the sanctuary should not a place for the “war in my mind” to be at it’s most effective. I am troubled by this.

    When a fellow Christian comes to visit me, I like to find an opportunity to pick up my guitar and sing amazing grace. It’s intimate, it’s simple, and I never force it. I frequently ask for permission. It’s spontaneous and agreed with. I get a real blessing from it and because it’s not a “show” the other person feels relaxed and can worship with me. We are sort of, “with one mind”.

    I’ve actually “timed” my arrival to a church where there are people I love, so that I arrive at the end of the music. All the time asking God to forgive me for it and help me understand this war in my mind. I can’t do this all the time, because (I think) it would send a terrible message to them. So I stay away from them all together and visit now and then. When I do visit them, I have to endure the music just to have the reward of the fellowship that happens after the service is over. It is then I wish singing would sort of spontaneously break out. I miss them.

    This is a post to a bulletin board but I steer every word to the Throne of Grace also. Wrong or right in any aspect, I am before Him about it.

    It’s a real struggle and I am grateful for such a great counselor, such a great “listener”. This is my confidence, hope, and my peace. That He cares for His church.

    Dave.
     
    #1 David Mark, Jul 14, 2003
  2. ScottEmerson

    ScottEmerson Active Member

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    [quotation erased by Moderator]
    David, thank you for sharing what you are going through. I think it is very encouraging that you are open enough to sing praise and worship to Christ when you are by yourself. I am confident that God is continuing to work in you at opening you up to sing corporately. It is an awesome experience to truly worship with other brothers and sisters in Christ.

    I've said a prayer for you as I've written this. May God bless you and strengthen you!

    SEC

    [ July 14, 2003, 09:38 PM: Message edited by: Dr. Bob Griffin ]
     
    #2 ScottEmerson, Jul 14, 2003
  3. Dr. Bob

    Dr. Bob Administrator
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    Been there, done that. Had my heart so vexed by music that my spirit felt like Lot sitting in the gates of Sodom.

    Then had to get up and preach. Happened at a camp a few years back as the music person and I were not on the same page (or even in the same book).

    It is unfortunate that you cannot find a fellowship that will worship God in spirit and in truth that would be a blessing for you.

    Don't give up . . don't give in.
     
    #3 Dr. Bob, Jul 14, 2003
  4. dianetavegia

    dianetavegia Guest

    David, I'm going through this right now. Our M of M is about my age but has ventured into the newer songs....... leaving behind so many wonderful hymns. I know I'm not alone, tho, and I also sing, sing, sing (not very well I'm afraid) in my car, in the house, in the shower and sometimes I am singing so loud in my dreams that I wake myself up singing the old hymns in praise to our Father.

    Diane
     
    #4 dianetavegia, Jul 14, 2003
  5. Pennsylvania Jim

    Pennsylvania Jim New Member

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    Same here.

    It amazes me how 90% of a congregation can love the "old" music, and intensely dislike the new, yet the person in control of the music gets away with the claim that "everyone's tired of the old stuff". I can in a heartfelt way sympathise with you all, it is heart-wrenching to stand with your brothers and sisters in a worship service and be unable to sing along with the songs (ditties).

    Last Christmas we attended a liberal denominational church because it seems that they are the only ones who still sing Silent Night, Joy to the World, etc. In spite of the lukewarm message, singing the traditional Christmas music (twelve carols!) out of a plain old hymnal was a tremendous blessing.
     
    #5 Pennsylvania Jim, Jul 14, 2003
  6. Molly

    Molly New Member

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    We feel the same way! We were in a church for a while that took a turn for the more praise and worship style choruses...while still members of that church,we visited the church we are at now for a special shepherding conference and cried when we sang *And Can It Be*...it had been so long since we had sang those great hymns...and the people at that church sang out joyfully ,not dead like some here think those who love hymns are...they were joyful and defintely agreed with the great words!

    We,also sang,that night, *Jesus What A Friend For Sinners*...it was a great evening....we joined the church 2 years after that night!
     
    #6 Molly, Jul 15, 2003
  7. David Mark

    David Mark New Member

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    Thank you all!

    You know what? I'm hearing those same words: Don't give up, don't give in (in my heart).

    Pressing on, [​IMG]

    Dave
     
    #7 David Mark, Jul 16, 2003
  8. Dale McNamee

    Dale McNamee New Member

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    Hello Everyone,

    I don't think that it's so much that we are "turning into our parents" regarding seeing the hymns as beautiful and meaningful as it is maturing in our Christian faith.

    By the same token,there are some really fine contemporary worship songs that have theological depth and good melodies that should not be overlooked. There's room for both styles in church.

    In Christ,
    Dale
     
    #8 Dale McNamee, Jul 17, 2003
  9. A_Christian

    A_Christian New Member

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    Well I blame the parents! Just kidding---sort of.

    Hear me out. Now my dad loved classical music.
    He tended toward the slovic----rather wild and
    not so much Mozart.
    He loved Nelson Eddie and Jeanette McDonald
    and Al Jolson.
    My mother liked Eddie Arnold and Welk and
    Bandstand-------hey, I mean I grew up in the
    50's & 60's, man.

    Now, I had my moments. I liked the Moody Blues
    (I still do). However, I credit my parents
    with giving me a range of musical tastes. Funny,
    I can EVEN watch Welk (sometimes) and smile.
    And then I return to reality...
     
    #9 A_Christian, Jul 17, 2003
  10. Su Wei

    Su Wei Active Member
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    question..... will God allow music in His church which will "vex the spirit" of his people, people who are walking close to Him and want to please Him?

    Thanks, David Mark for sharing your thoughts. I'll share mine....
    I'm glad i'm in a hymns church and we stand by it by conviction and we guard the position jealously. we do sing more contemporary songs of praise ( which Dale describes as " fine contemporary worship songs that have theological depth and good melodies" )but in less formal fellowship gatherings.


    I believe that once the music slides in the worldly direction, the preaching eventually will also. That's why we're strict about the style of the music, accompaniment, choice of songs and specials etc.

    Surely in South Carolina there are hymns only churches too?
     
    #10 Su Wei, Jul 23, 2003
  11. Gib

    Gib Active Member

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    I am the M of M at my church. I like some praise and worship music. My church likes the occasional chorus as we welcome each other or as we leave. I do not force feed the congregation what falls under my personal taste. I look and listen to the members for what they respond to the best.

    We use the 1991 Baptist Hymnal and it has several choruses written in the hymn fashion. I also use some songs from Word's Songs for Praise and Worship. We utilize piano and organ.

    I also enjoy Handel's Messiah as I studied it thoroughly thru college. My church does not care for that style of music and would rather not have it used. There are many great choral anthems that my church would not appreciate. The few I've sprung on them have been dubbed "sleeping music" or "boring". There's no Here Kitty, Kitty feeling to that style, the church just does'nt want to hear it.
     
    #11 Gib, Jul 24, 2003
  12. David Mark

    David Mark New Member

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    There are. [​IMG]

    Dave
     
    #12 David Mark, Jul 24, 2003
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