I have an Issue!! Your advices would be greatly appreciatted!!!

Discussion in 'Other Christian Denominations' started by TaliOrlando, Nov 13, 2006.

  1. TaliOrlando

    TaliOrlando
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    Hello this is Tali. I havent posted in a while, a couple of things have been going on. I come to you board member asking for Prayer and Advice on a sensitive subject. I need all point of views, so please be as honest as you always are.

    I am married have a great wife and beautiful daughter of 2 1/2. Well, the issue here is my Family ( Brother, Father ). Well my brother is a homosexual and he and his partner have been together for over 12 years. His partner has AIDS and my brother says he doesnt.

    Problem is my brother is Chronic Diabetic and is always pinching his fingers around 5 times daily to check his sugar. I have a problem with allowing him to hold my daughter because he has basicly open wounds on his fingers. When I go over, I am super over super super protective over my daughter and once when I tried expressing my thoughts and feeling they took it as I was bashing them because they were homosexual.

    Another problem, I dont like is how will I explain this to my daughter when she asks who is Uncle Billy living with???

    Its a very had and difficult subject because my family doesnt see if the way I do. I dont judge my brother but I also do not accept his sin. Its very hard for me, I am a young Christian and maybe its ignorance but I need advice from all of you great brothers and sisters!!! How would you handle it?? What would you do?? ext....

    Thanks, Tali
     
  2. LeBuick

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    Wow, tough one. I will say my daughter is everything to me so if it means hurting my brothers feelings then so be it. I would hope he understands if you explain it to him.

    I would say uncle Billy has a roommate but unfortunately, same sex couples will be very common when your daughter get's to school.
     
  3. BobRyan

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    I agree with LeBuick -

    If your brother can not bring himself to see your daughter through the eyes of a father wanting to provide safety to his child - then maybe it is best if you limit your "family outings" such that you are only with your brother when your child can be at a friend's home or with your wife at home while you visit.

    In Christ,

    Bob
     
  4. Scarlett O.

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    Brother, I have a whole lot of thoughts running around in my head over this.

    I am just going to let it be sufficient to say that I am praying very hard for you and your entire family.

    Just be like Job and pray a hedge of protection around your daughter everyday. And just be like Moses' sister and keep her protection at the forefront of your daily life.

    And be like the Good Samaritan and love your brother even though many in the world would call him unlovable and treat him that way.

    Whew! The best I can do is pray.
     
  5. thjplgvp

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    My friend,

    You are responsible for your family not your fathers family. This may sound harsh, sorry, but your brother has a rebrobate mind meaning he can neither store nor retrieve truth accurately. Clearly the unsaved cannot understand the spiritual truths nor spiritual concerns of a believer. Speak the truth in love and let the chips fall where they mayfor the wounds of a friend are faithful but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.



    Thjplgvp
     
  6. J. Jump

    J. Jump
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    Brother what a terrible situation to be in. However, with that said, if you feel that there is even a chance that something could happen to your daughter then make sure she is kept out of harms way. If you brother doesn't understand that then too bad.

    That doesn't mean you don't love him, but if he can not respect your desires and wishes when it comes to your daughter then there are consequences on both sides for that.

    What I would recommend is to pray that you will die to self and allow the Spirit to work through your members in this situation so that the love of God will shine through and that Jesus will be seen and that your daughter will have the parental protection she needs.

    Do not compromise on your concerns for safety.
     
  7. donnA

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    My daughter in laws brother is homosexual, and once he wanted to come down and visit (lives about 100 miles away) the guy he wanted to bring him (not his 'partner') has aids, she told him the other guy could not come to her house (my granddaughter is 16 months). He did not come to visit that weekend. I would support your stand on this, your brother comes after your daughter and wife, then he'll just have to be hurt. Too bad he doesn't understand it has nothing to do with them being gay, but with his partner having aids, in that case it wouldn't matter if they were straight or not, aids is aids.
    As a side note, not in support of the homosexual lifestyle or anything, unless he is testing his blood while he is around your daughter, then he does not have open wounds, I know becasue I also test, the close up immediately.
     
  8. tragic_pizza

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    Medical advice from a Fundamentalist board is always a bad idea. Talk to someone who treats HIV/AIDS patients, and ask them.


    To thjplgvp: Unless you are the Holy Spirit, you have no idea if this man's brother is reprobate.
     
  9. menageriekeeper

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    Wow, you have a whole lot of issues going on. When this much is happening sometimes it helps to break things down into smaller pieces and deal with them one at a time.

    The first issue is how much of a relationship you are going to continue to have with your brother. If it is going to be basically the same as before you were saved (and this decision is entirely between you and God), then you have to deal with the questions of your daughter.

    Deal with it head on, as the questions come. At 2 all she's going to know is that some nice man lives in the house with her uncle and she will simply take this as how things are. When she does have questions, answer them honestly. Uncle and friend live together in a relationship that is offensive to God, but God still loves them. One day, if we love them like God loves them, maybe they will realize that what they are doing is wrong.......(head on, while also expressing what you believe and giving her a foundation to form her own beliefs).

    Now, as for the aids and diabetes. I suggest you do some in depth research into aids(or more properly HIV) and into how it is passed from person to person. You can then approach your brother with your concerns and have the documentation to back up your concerns. When he knows where you are coming from he is more likely to understand that while you love him you must protect your daughter.

    Then too, there are glucometers on the market that can take blood samples from a person's forearm. You/he could look into obtaining one of those if it helps alleviate your concerns. DonnA is correct though, there is very little chance of having an "open" wound from checking one's sugar. (my husband is also diabetic) I daresay that your brother loves your daughter enough to understand that she must be protected from the illness of his partner and that his partner also understands. Information is out there on how to handle casual contact with someone infected with HIV. Go do a bit of research.

    It is not the worst thing in the world to be related to someone who is homosexual. Christian love, can have a lasting impact on someone living in that lifestyle.
     
  10. music4Him

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    Tell your brother and family your concerns for your daughter. Also in the mean time pray the Lord will open the eyes of your brother and his friend so they will turn to Jesus because Jesus is the only answer I know. :flower:
     
  11. Claudia_T

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    But if the brother's partner has aids and gives it to the brother, then even if the daughter is left at home during the visits, the girls father can still get aids and then give it to the daughter.
     
  12. Claudia_T

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    wow that was hard to say, I hope that I got that right LOL!
     
  13. menageriekeeper

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    You can't catch aids like you do a cold. :rolleyes:

    There must be a transfer of bodily fluids for there to be a chance of infecton. Not likely that a casual visit is going to result in body fluids being exchanged.
     
  14. rbell

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    If your brother indeed has an open sore on his hand, insist on latex gloves. If the question "why?" is asked, respond simply, "Universal precautions." Have gloves ready.

    If she asks, "Who is uncle Billy living with?" I would respond, "with (man's name)." Down the road, the whole story must be told...but not to one who isn't three yet.

    You have my prayers. May your witness win your brother to Christ.
     
  15. JamieinNH

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    Menageriekeeper,

    Of all the comments so far, you have been the one that seem to have given thought and rationale to your response.


    Talli,

    I will pray for you to receive the guidence you need in this tough situation.

    Jamie
     
  16. thjplgvp

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    With all due respect sir you need to read Romans 1.

    Thjplgvp
     
  17. TaliOrlando

    TaliOrlando
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    Hello!!! Everyone!!! Thanks for all your great advices.

    This issue has been going on for several months in my life. Its very hard because my brother helped raise me when I was a child and my mother died. He helped my father raise me and stuff. My mother died when I was 5 years old.

    In December last year when my dad was over in Orlando for vacation he sat us all down and expressed my concerns to my brother as to why I didnt feel comfortable bringing Natalia(MY DAUGHTER) to his home. He started crying and I visited him twice after that, the second time his partner slammed the door in my face. I still waited on my brother until he opened the door. After that time it was hard for me to visit.

    I felt sad, because I love my brother but I have a duty and responsibility as a father and man of GOD. I stopped going several months because I felt like I wasnt welcome. Well In April 2006, my Pastors wanted to start developing my preaching skills and asked me to preach. I was so nervous LOL... I felt from the Holy Spirit to go over his home and apologize.....to him if I ever did anything wrong you know. I told him I accepted him but not his sin. A month later I get an email from his boyfriend saying, that I was wasting my time in church and curse words and stuff. I still went over and forgave them.

    Now, I have gone over but I just dont feel comfortable. You have to understand, I have no family in Orlando besides him and its hard. Its really hard, especialy with the Holiday coming and stuff.
     
  18. xdisciplex

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    You must not risk the health of your daughter and allow her to be exposed to dangerous substances. I would not let her in the house of your brother and his friend.

    By the way I am not even so sure wether they are telling us the truth about aids.
    They say that the HIV virus dies quickly when it's out of the body but I have heard a teaching on HIV from Dr.A.E. Wilder Smith who's also a christian and had a lot of titles. According to him the virus is much more stable than thought and it can also survive outside of the body for a pretty long time! Maybe you should get his book. He has a book about aids.

    http://www.wildersmith.org/
     
  19. xdisciplex

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    Good idea, but God also gave us a brain. A christian also wouldn't drink poison and then pray not to be affected by it. I would under no circumstances let my child in such a dangerous environment.
    Like I said it's not even sure how stable the virus really is. If the virus is stable outside of the body then it's much more dangerous than thought! :eek::eek:
    I wouldn't belittle the risk. Some talk about it as if getting aids was the most complicated thing on earth.
     
  20. TaliOrlando

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    When Ever I do pass by I go over for a few minutes at a time and alone. It just hurts everytime he asks me about my daughter and stuff. I try to witness to him about God and stuff. He has alot of questions and I try my best to explain to him about why Homosexualy is a sin.

    This is one of the hardest things for me, because I not only consider him a brother but a father figure. Problem is, that sure he says he doesnt have AIDS but if he has been together with his partner for over 11 yrs he cant tell me they havent had sexual encounters. Also, if I were to even ask him to put on latex gloves he would get upset and the whole family...from sisters.. to brothers... to aunts... all start talking crap. I could care less about that though.. I just keep on trusting God but I have to confront him on this issue.

    When I go over.. just to be honest.. I dont drink... eat...use restroom.. anything... and I know it makes me paranoid but I am sorry.. its AIDS
    Some people dont understand my views
     

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