I need advise !!!

Discussion in 'Other Christian Denominations' started by TaliOrlando, Jan 16, 2007.

  1. TaliOrlando

    TaliOrlando
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    Ok.. my friend is going through difficult situation and asked for $20.00 over the weekend. I said ok because I thought I would have it but now I need it and what should I do. I can find the $20.00 but I will have to do miracles!! lol... I dont want him to do feel bad but its going to be hard to give him the $20.00 when I my self probably dont have it. I just feel horrible because I thought I could help and voluntered but now I dont know what to do.

    I always do this....:BangHead: ..I always want to help out but cant..
     
  2. tragic_pizza

    tragic_pizza
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    That's a tough one.

    Can you borrow twenty bucks to give him?
     
  3. Gup20

    Gup20
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    You could always go earn $20 and give that to your friend. Mow a lawn or shovel a driveway or something. Ask around and see if anyone you know will let you earn $20 from them.
     
  4. TaliOrlando

    TaliOrlando
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    Yeah.. thats what I will have to end up doing... I honestly thought I could if not I wouldnt have voluntered. I love helping out you know.. Everyone is down at times.

    Why is it so hard to say NO sometimes. Does anyone here have the same problem of having difficulties saying NO???
     
  5. tragic_pizza

    tragic_pizza
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    All the stinkin' time, bro.
     
  6. Scarlett O.

    Scarlett O.
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    I used to have that problem years ago.

    It's called being a "people-pleaser." It comes from a deeply imbedded lack of self-esteem. The origins of that lack of self-esteem are irrelevant. It could any triggered by anything....literally.

    We don't feel people can like us for who we are, so we try to earn their affection, beit professional, familial, platonic, or romantic affection.

    We do it by always agreeing with them, always laughing at their stupid jokes, doing odd jobs for them, loaning them money, loaning them our vehicles, co-signing loans for them, liking the people they like, being enemies with the people they are enemies with, and so on.

    We will do anything to avoid making them upset or angry with us.....because, then well, they won't like us anymore. And if they don't like us, then that's the end of the world....right?

    It's a dangerous place to be. It's quite hidden problem and people who have this mental and emotional people-pleasing problem cannot see it in themselves, but others can and sometimes take advantage.

    What would be so terribly awful if you had to go to this person and say, "I'm so very sorry, but I can only loan you $10 instead of $20. I'm running short this week, too. I want to help you, but I made a mistake of misjudging how much I can loan you. Here, take the $10 and just pay me back whenever you can."



     
  7. TaliOrlando

    TaliOrlando
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  8. J. Jump

    J. Jump
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    Sounds like pretty solid advice to me, even if you weren't able to give them anything. Stuff happens sometimes unfortunately that is out of our control.
     
  9. steaver

    steaver
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    Actually, we should avoid all monetary loans. If you are able to give a friend 20 bucks then just give it and forget it! Loans are not God's perfect model.

    God Bless! :thumbs:
     
  10. J. Jump

    J. Jump
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    Good post Steaver.
     
  11. Marcia

    Marcia
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    I had to chuckle at your suggestion about shoveling a driveway because TaliOrlando is in Florida! :laugh:

    I see you are in MN so I guess you have some snow!
     
  12. tragic_pizza

    tragic_pizza
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    It would be pretty easy work, though, in Orlando.

    Birmingham, too, for that matter...
     

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