I need some pastoral advice

Discussion in 'Pastoral Ministries' started by spurgeon2004, May 4, 2004.

  1. spurgeon2004

    spurgeon2004
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    I have this lady in my church who has been leaving right after she teaches her training union class on sunday nights. Is it me or could there be a potential problem between her and the pastor. She has only just started doing that within the last few weeks. Am I just being paranoid? When I preach she never will look at me, she just flips through her bible. My wife says I am paranoid anyway. Her husband is a deacon and I can't tell anything by my relationship with him. He seems the same as always.
     
  2. dianetavegia

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    Spurgeon, I did that for a long time. I taught Sunday morning, church wasn't out until almost 1:00. I had to be back for Mission Friends to begin at 4:30 and church began at 6:00. My husband would leave on Sunday evenings when he had early appointments on Monday so many times our few minutes on Sunday were the only time we had as a whole family. I felt ashamed to leave but had NOTHING against the preacher.

    Diane
     
  3. gb93433

    gb93433
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    She could have a problem with her husband. Who knows? Sometime stop by their home and visit with them. Maybe she is finding something hard to deal with in her life and blames God. I would be kind to her and not pry too much. She may be feeling guilty about something. You might ask her how she is doing.

    I wouldn't assume anything unless you know for sure. Sometime if you get a chance you might ask her if everything is alright.

    I would pray for her first before doing anything. There may be a time when she will want to talk.
     
  4. Pastor Larry

    Pastor Larry
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    I had a family leave a church service early one night claiming they had to get the kids home in bed for school. (It was 7:30). I took the guy to lunch that week and said, "What message do you think you sent your sons about the relative importance of church?" He thought for a minute and, Hmm, good point. He has been one of my faithful and dedicated servants in the church. He and his wife have come miles in spiritual growth in the last few years. It is unreal to see the difference in them.

    I think when you see a situation like this, you challenge it, prayerfully, tactfully, but challenge it. Find out why ... I wouldn't worry about her not looking at you ... But you can tell if someone is paying attention or daydreaming.

    But as a teacher, she is setting an example to her students. Is that the kind of example you want to set?? I wouldn't.
     
  5. rev_ray

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    I think it should be handled with prayer, then you and your wife should have a talk with her and just find out what is going on. I can't see
    letting this trouble your mind while trying to preach the gospel. You know how satan works, he will tell you al kinds of things and it may be nothing more than a slight problem like Diane above had. Again she is to be an example!
     
  6. PastorNick

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    I agree with Rev Ray. If something like that is happening, and it is not dealt with early on, it can have a major affect on you, when it may be something simple.
    We also cannot deny that there are women in our congregations who have become attracted to the Pastor and maybe she is trying to avoid looking at you to so as not to give Satan a foothold.
    Pray about it and then visit and seek out the problem. Ask God to reveal the issue.
     
  7. Rosell

    Rosell
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    First, I have to admire you for still having a regular discipleship class in Training Union on Sunday nights.

    Second, if you're worried about it, talk to her. In my experience, more problems crop up in a church when you are not direct with people when something is bothering you. The more direct you are, the more direct they will be. You'll avoid a lot of gossip and behind the scenes manipulation if you're just open. You can do this in a gentle, non-threatening way.
     
  8. Dr. Bob

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    Communication is the key. Until then, we are all only guessing at what might be the problem.

    And remember, the surface problem hay not be the root cause.
     
  9. Bob Farnaby

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    Pray about it, then talk with her. Anything else is guesswork and it can be making a rod for your own back when there is no problem at all.

    Regards
    Bob
     
  10. steveo

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    I agree with the previous post that we would be guessing. I remember Dr.J Vernon Mcgee saying he was preaching once and this man fell asleep and it irritated him greatly. Later, the mans wife talked to him afterwards and told Mcgee how her husband loved to hear him preach but had a serious illness and was dying and it caused him to drift off and on.
    Dr Mcgee said he felt awful.
    Steve
     

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