I think that maybe I don't even have faith

Faith is belief in action.

 

I'm not so sure that doubting is the opposite of faith. Normally, doubting is part of our faith. Many times, it's the ants in the pants which helps keep our faith alive. BTW, do you think nonbelievers struggle with their doubt??

 

xdx, everyone has faith. It depends on the object of your faith as to what sort of person you are. You have faith in yourself. You are always figuring what makes sense to you, what makes you happy, etc. You are depending on your own mind to figure things out.

When you get tired of that, call out to Jesus. You will find He is real and that you will be able to have faith in Him without all the pain you are experiencing now inside yourself.

 

1 Corinthians 10:13 There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.

Philippians 1:29 For unto you it is given in the behalf of Christ, not only to believe on him, but also to suffer for his sake;

Romans 8:17 And if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ; if so be that we suffer with him, that we may be also glorified together.

Acts 14:22 Confirming the souls of the disciples, and exhorting them to continue in the faith, and that we must through much tribulation enter into the kingdom of God.

 

Isaiah 26:3 Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.

 

I didn't find peace either while I was trying to approach God intellectually. Our intellects are so far inferior to His that what I was trying to do was absurd. He does say, in Isaiah 1, to 'come let us reason together'. But the entire point of that invitation, as He explains, is so that you will realize your sinfulness and need of Him.

At that point you can either try to deny your own sinfulness, or admit it and try to fix yourself, or give up and submit your life and self to Him. Very often the last option requires one to 'reach the end of one's rope' -- and yes, that is what happened to me and to a lot of us here. It may be what is happening to you now.

All I can tell you is that you can give up and give in to Him. It seems so hard from your side of things, I know. All I can tell you is that it is the best thing I ever did and that, since then, He has been forming me into the kind of person I always wanted to be deep inside. And that yes, there is a deep peace involved, and a joy that I really cannot explain. It is a joy that is still quietly there (don't confuse it with surface happiness) when things seem to go all wrong. Why? Because I know I don't have to understand and I don't have to be in charge. God knows. God loves me. God is working all things to my good eventually, simply because I love Him.

You have the same wrestlings and the same choices we have all had. Your path is not new! Many of us know what real depression is. We know what that wrestling with God is like. We know the fear of giving up and wondering if He will crush us or turn us into sour persimmon Christians or something like that, or make us do all kinds of things we don't want to do. I remember being that kind of afraid.

Those fears are groundless. I cannot even begin to express what it's like on this side. He knows what He is doing. Wrestle as long as you need to, xdx, and then, when you have no more to wrestle with, give up, give in, and call on His Name. He's right there and He loves you.

 

No it means when you focus your attention on the Word of God, and its Author, Jesus Christ our Lord, who is the Prince of Peace, He will give you peace. Trust in His promises. Find time to be alone with God. Pray and read his Word. "Peace I leave you, peace I give unto you; not as the world giveth, give I unto you; let not your heart be troubled neither let it be afraid."

 

xdx,

"whose mind is stayed on thee" is the operative phrase in that verse. And peace is not the exact same thing as happiness in your circumstances. Peace is joy in SPITE of your circumstances. You seem to be expecting God to fix all your problems and to somehow force you to be happy.....as if He is supposed to wave a magic wand and change your emotional state. That's not how it works, my friend.

We all have our up and down days. I struggle with depression as well at times. Sometimes our circumstances are the result of our own bad choices (whether sin or just the wrong decision), and if we concentrate on those circumstances and stew about God not "getting us out of it", then yes, we have stolen our own peace from our heart.

and No, God isn't going to just magically rescue you from everything bad that could or does happen to you. He wants you first of all to remember that eternity is going to be a whole lot longer than the 70 years or so you'll have here on earth. God wants you to be prepared for the eternity part, and if that means some discomfort during your years here on earth, than so be it. Look at how many Christians were in so much worse of a state than you are in.........look at the life of Bunyan - wrote Pilgrim's Progress from prison. And not an American prison either.

In fact, if you haven't read it yet, why don't you go get yourself a copy of Pilgrim's Progress and read it? It'll put alot of things in perspective for you.

Im not saying any of this to make you feel beat up because you are having a hard day. I AM saying this because you need to realize that God

A) does not usually save us from ourselves - meaning He doesn't snap His fingers and get us out of a situation we got ourselves into

and

B) Hardships you go through are another chance for God to grow your faith in Him. God gives us faith, and then He helps us grow that faith larger through struggles. You have to let Him do that though. He's not going to force it on you. It's just like a toddler learning how to walk. We don't carry the child around so they never fall, because then they never walk. The child has to be put in what seems to them to be a scary situation so that they exercise those leg muscles.

God wants you to exercise your faith muscles. But if you sit and become upset at God for not "helping" you get out of these hardships, then you'll become bitter, not better.

 

I just read this statement of yours...

think about this......you have decided that as long as you have problems you will be miserable. This is YOU deciding to be miserable because of the problems in your life. I know you have real problems, and maybe they are bigger than someone else's....but that does not mean you have to be miserable.

You can be happy in spite of your problems. It is as DHK posted.....your mind needs to be stayed on Christ if you expect to have peace. Right now your mind is focused on your problems.

 

As a starter, I suggest you stop reading some of the literature that is causing a lot of the questions you have been asking over the months.

I have suggested this book before, and present it again. The author was a trained psychiatrist and sound evangelical believer. The Fight, Dr. John White, InterVarsity Press, $9.00 US funds and available on the net at http://www.InterVarsitypress.com. This book covers the basics of Christianity and discusses a lot of the questions you have been asking.

Cheers, and God bless,

Jim