I feel so bad. What shall I do? I feel that I'm still a rebel and I don't really understand why God wants us to humble us in front of him. This gives me the impression of God being a master who wants his people to bow down in front of him, this is the impression which I get. Why does God want this? And what shall I do? How can I get rid of this rebellish attitude? I have prayed to God to change my heart but it's still there. What if I'm simply too evil to get rid of it? I feel really bad. And when I hear that you have to be humble then sometimes I think that you simply have to be humble to get something from God. This means being humble is only a way to get something from him. Why do I even have such thoughts? I don't want to abuse God. I feel like I'm a terrible person. How do I get rid of this? I always hear christians talking about God having to break us or something like this. What does this mean? Does this mean I have to go throw trials in order to be broken?