Im the only one wearing pants

Discussion in '2005 Archive' started by The Carpinator, Nov 25, 2005.

  1. The Carpinator

    The Carpinator
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    Im visiting a church where I am the only man wearing blue jeans. All the men are wearing suits, clean shaven and have short haircuts. I love the preaching at this church. I love the use of the KJV. I love the old time hymns but like to listen to other music when not at church (which I think that most don't) All the women wear dresses but my wife or I don't mind that cause she likes wearing skirts to church anyways. I dont have a suit though and really cant see the need to spend 100 bucks on something I'm only going to wear to church. Im a jeans kinda guy anyways. Im an underground utility worker. Im in the mud everyday from 5 to 30 feet deep. A suit just isnt my thing. Neither is being clean shaven. I have a goatee to protect my face during the winter months. The people here are real nice and friendly...but is that just because im still just visiting? This is the only thing that is keeping me from joining. I love the fundementals preached here. I just do not see how I can join a church that requires me to wear expensive "show off" clothes, cut my hair like a marine (which I do anyways), shave, listen only to hymns no matter where Im at or require my wife to wear dresses all the time. So far no one has given me a "rule sheet" but I feel that there is one. Any way to find out? What should I do? My wife loves this church and so do I, I'm just very uncomfortable thinking everyone thinks I'm sinning cause I don't fit the cookie cutter mold.
     
  2. James_Newman

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    I doubt that anyone would say anything about it brother. Some people may get prideful about outward appearances, but others just want to look nice when they go to worship God, and if they have suits, they wear suits... but there is no reason that they should expect you to go out and buy a suit just to wear to church.

    James 2:2-4
    2 For if there come unto your assembly a man with a gold ring, in goodly apparel, and there come in also a poor man in vile raiment;
    3 And ye have respect to him that weareth the gay clothing, and say unto him, Sit thou here in a good place; and say to the poor, Stand thou there, or sit here under my footstool:
    4 Are ye not then partial in yourselves, and are become judges of evil thoughts?

    If they are bible-believing folk, it really isn't an issue.
     
  3. exscentric

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    We attend a church in the neighborhood, now and then, where I, the lone suit wearer appears to be out of place. Most wear jeans and sports shirts.

    I feel comfy because I go to church to see God. I feel I want to dress the very best I can for Him. It is an act of respect for who He is. Naked would work for Him as well I'd guess, but what is appropriate. :eek:

    Lots of luck on finding a suit for 100 [​IMG]

    Not only can those that dress in suits become prideful, so can those that dress casual.

    If you reallllllly want to be a part of that particular church, then you will have to determine just what concessions you might want to make to achieve that goal.

    Our son is not a suit type guy, but when he moved into management it was required. He now wears a suit to work - not that he is now a suit kind of guy, he isn't, he still dislikes them :D
     
  4. JamieinNH

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    I believe if you like the church, and being a part of it will help you be closer to God, then go in Jeans.

    If, by chance someone mentions it at the church, don't get defensive, just tell the truth just as you have told us, and I am sure they will understand.

    One thing to remember, and this is not to persuaded you to get them, but you don't have to get a suit. You can get casual pants like Dockers, from most places like Wal-Mart or Sears. They will run you about $35+/- but then you could go in those with a button down shirt. Meet them halfway theory. I mentioned Dockers by name because when you buy them they will last forever it seems. I have some I have bought years and years ago and they are still as good as new.

    Either way, YOU feel comfortable going to the Lord and he will help smooth out any obstacles in the way.

    Jamie
     
  5. jarhed

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    You can do better than this, Brother. Try a good will or Salvation Army store in a middle-sized to large sized city. My dirty little secret, and I am an institute instructor, pulpit filler, and deacon at a church that sounds strangely like the one you are attending, is that I buy ALL my suits for $10-$25!!!!! I have some REALLY nice suits. These D. Trump types will wear thier English Wool about four times and take it to good will. Amazing. So you just need to find a city with a big business district and you're good to go!

    As far as the people: If it is like my church, well, they have convictions. THEY will not try to make them YOURS if they are right with God. The word of God may make your listening to worldly music uncomfortable after a while. You may feel, at some point, like you would like to serve in a teaching capacity or something of that nature, making a dress code necessary. NONE of these things should be FORCED on you. You are most certainly in the right place. Join, and see what God has for you! It sounds like to me you have a good heart and want to do right. Just do what God is leading you to do.

    Finally, will offences come? Of course they will, but don't let someone who is carnal and small steal your opportunity to do right and grow in grace! God Bless, Brother
     
  6. dcorbett

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    My church doesn't frown at blue jeans. We live in the wild west, where horses and cattle are still an intricate part of the landscape. My boyfriend doesn't own anything BUT blue jeans. And as long as the clothes are clean and not revealing, pretty much anything goes at my church unless you are on staff. Staff has a dress code, and of course, us musicians dress like staff. But nope, if you are regular civilian :D you can wear clean and decent pants.

    Debbie C (IFB KJV only)
     
  7. tinytim

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    I would talk to the pastor to find out more info on how the church feels about the things you brought up.
     
  8. Sword Of The Spirit

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    Hi Carpinator,

    I can appreciate your concerns there.

    When I was in the position of searching for a church, I can share with you my method, maybe that will help. Last thing anyone really wants is to wind up in a Church that is suffocating in an ultra extreme form of legalism (like anything, legalism needs a balance and ways in church need Biblical support behind it). I would note what you expressed as your concerns here, and start asking a lot of sincere questions. Just like the poster above me advised, you should definitely do that, as well as ask members questions. For instance, ask them things like how the Church has helped them spiritually and what their testimonies are. In a well balanced Church, you should feel the zeal emit from the members. However, in a church that is suffocating in man made views and ordinances, the members tend to be skittish ,although happy looking, rather dull and dry. Likewise this is how the pastor may be too. Also consider, how are the members interacting? Do they seem to labor together in Christ in their various roles, do they seem excited about being at Church? Does the Pastor's message set you on fire?

    Personally, this is just me, I would avoid any Church that gives you a contract to sign as I don't believe the Bible contains any such ordinance for Church membership.

    Also, it seems you and I may share in the view that the Bible doesn't teach that women are to spend their lives in dresses and skirts. During my independant studies in addition to studies with my church, we took strong consideration of this matter. First off, back then, the men themselves did not wear pants. Everyone pretty much wore long robes, the only thing different was some were styled for a woman, while other robes were styled for men. Even now, men's pants are not woman's pants and vice versa. A man would look silly in pink rose patterned pants, as much as a woman would look silly in trousers. So basically we see the scripture as saying not to wear that of which is designed specifically to the build of the opposite sex. Others may not agree with this interpretation and that is fine, but just wanted to let you know that you are not alone in that view.
     
  9. donnA

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    When clothing becomes a litmus test for joining a church, or for spirituality then there's something wrong.
     
  10. Sword Of The Spirit

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    I agree to the extent that these dress codes are based on spurious interpretations. However, at the same time, there has to be some form of dress code. The Bible tells us to dress modestly, so I am sure that this is what God desires, and a spiritual Christian would follow this. What I mean is, while we don't want to place all kinds of emphases on attacking conservative clothing be it a dress or slacks, we also don't want to go to the extreme of anything goes. For example, men and woman should know that it is definitely not appropriate to show up in Church in bathing suits, or very revealing clothes like what you'd see from people coming out of a night club.
     
  11. Clean1

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    You have some good advice here Carpinator. You could always wear a suit jacket with some nice dress pants also. Pray about it. If you decide not to get a suit or dress pants wear some really nice jeans and a really nice shirt. Oh... and don't forget the tie!
     
  12. SaggyWoman

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    If I liked the preaching that much, I would wear what I felt I could wear and wanted to wear and leave it at that. Don't worry about a jacket. Don't worry about the tie. Worry about the gospel being preached.
     
  13. Gold Dragon

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    I consider this situation akin to going to a wedding of a different culture. You want to wear something inoffensive but are not going to spend a significant amount of money to conform completely with the cultural norm.

    Of course, I consider suits and ties to be pretty inappropriate attire at my church even though my father, our pastors and some of our deacons do wear them most of the time.
     
  14. gb93433

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    Wear clothes you like and you might find that you could possibly be the change agent in the church which will allow others to come. Go to any university town and you will find students who can hardly afford their tuition and books let alone a suit.

    At the university I am at, I recently found out about a student who recently graduated who came to this country to study and be a professor. He graduated and is now a professor in another state. For six years he has not seen his wife and children because of financial constraints. He plans to bring them over next month. Forget about buying fancy clothes and help people like him.
     
  15. robycop3

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    Ya might speak w/some of the members to see how they feel about it and also read that church's statement of faith.

    My own church recommends everyday clothes appropriate for the weather. Our pastor, who is an asst. principal in a middle school, asks this in order for all to appear equal, IF CONSCIENCE ALLOWS IT, but he certainly doesn't discourage anyone's dressing formally, or women wearing hats. hair length is not an issue.(I'm nearly bald, and shave what is there)In fact, NO legalism is an issue.(By legalism, I mean man-made rules outside of Scripture) We use the NKJV, but we don't condemn the use of other valid versions, and have no music.(We don't condemn music; our small church doesn't have the funds to hire a music director & we have no instruments nor the funds to buy any. We stick to the "fundamentals".)

    But again, there's no "one-size-fits-all" church today. I'm not putting down anyone else's church, but I believe I've found one perfect for me & my family, as I have taught them the same loathing of legalism and of false doctrines as there is in me.
     
  16. Plain Old Bill

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    wrangler makes some nice dress jeans in many colors if you want to stay in jeans yet dress up a bit,they go good with a nice shirt or sweater.
    Talk to the pastor to get the real story.By the way those dress jeans are only about twenty dollors or so and have a nice dress crease in them.
     
  17. Vasco

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    i would be proud of being myself and not worry about the others.. you are not there for their benefit.. you are being respectful so i do not think there is a problem though you may want to see a church director and explain yourself, but you really do not owe expalnation to anyone one earth now do you?
     
  18. Brother Ian

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    Talk to the Pastor about your concerns. I wouldn't buy a new wardrobe though. Wear the best you have, if it's blue jeans, so be it.

    A church that is friendly that preaches the Word is definitely a church to be considered.
     
  19. cojosh

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    I would speak to the Pastor about joining the church, and see if he brings up the issue. If he doesn't then it must not be an issue. If he does, tell him what you told us.

    Sounds like a good church.
     
  20. Aaron

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    Being too poor to buy a suit is one thing, the unwillingness to buy and wear one is another. Also a full beard is better protection from the cold than a goatee. (I worked installing underground utilities for four years and grew a full beard in the winter months. I know.) The real issue as I see from your post isn't the demands of your job, but what you're willing to do.

    Here are some things you haven't been told yet. </font>
    • Clothing isn't just for protection, it's also a form of communication. What you think of Christ and church is being being communicated by how you dress.</font>
    • If you wear a suit out of your love and regard for the other members, that's nothing less than loving them as you love yourself, and nothing more than what Christ commanded.</font>
    • A suit is just as comfortable as jeans if it's the right material and fits.</font>
     

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