Inter-(fill-in-the-blank-) marriages

Discussion in 'General Baptist Discussions' started by Salty, Apr 12, 2010.

?

Which of these could cause a marital break up

  1. She has a masters degree - he is a high school dropout

    7 vote(s)
    53.8%
  2. He is a solider and met and married his foreign wife overseas

    6 vote(s)
    46.2%
  3. He is 5'3 and she is 6' 2"

    4 vote(s)
    30.8%
  4. One came from a very close knit family, the other from a "distant" family

    6 vote(s)
    46.2%
  5. One is a born again-practicing Roman Catholic / the other IFB

    9 vote(s)
    69.2%
  6. He wants 6 kids, she only wants 2

    5 vote(s)
    38.5%
  7. One or both are extremely disliked by the in-laws

    9 vote(s)
    69.2%
  8. One is extreme Conservative the other is an extreme Liberal

    9 vote(s)
    69.2%
  9. Other

    5 vote(s)
    38.5%
Multiple votes are allowed.
  1. Salty

    Salty
    Expand Collapse
    20,000 Posts Club
    Moderator

    Joined:
    Apr 8, 2003
    Messages:
    22,132
    Likes Received:
    221
    What is the probability of these differences being at least partially at fault for a marital break-up?

    You can choose as many as you want
     
    #1 Salty, Apr 12, 2010
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 12, 2010
  2. Mexdeaf

    Mexdeaf
    Expand Collapse
    New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 14, 2005
    Messages:
    7,051
    Likes Received:
    0
    How about "All of the above"? :laugh:
     
  3. Salty

    Salty
    Expand Collapse
    20,000 Posts Club
    Moderator

    Joined:
    Apr 8, 2003
    Messages:
    22,132
    Likes Received:
    221
    It is a multiple choice! :thumbsup:
     
  4. Thinkingstuff

    Thinkingstuff
    Expand Collapse
    New Member

    Joined:
    May 14, 2008
    Messages:
    8,169
    Likes Received:
    0
    I chose all but the Height one. I've seen divorce for every other reason listed here. My Other would be prefered S-x practices. I know its a vulgar and strange reason for divorse but I've seen two marriages split over that one.
     
  5. Scarlett O.

    Scarlett O.
    Expand Collapse
    Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    May 22, 2002
    Messages:
    9,836
    Likes Received:
    115
    If the heart is self-centered, then any one of these things could break up a marriage. For a man to show love in a sacrificing manner every single day is hard. For a woman to show reverence and respect in a self-denying manner every single day is hard.

    Self-centeredness is very, very easy.

    When the heart is self-centered even something like the husband perpetually cracking stupid jokes could break up a marriage or a wife always singing in the car and singing off key.

    But when the two hearts are devoted sacrificially and self-denyingly to the other - a marriage can withstand anything. There may be scars and bumps and bruises (metaphorically speaking), but the two who are one-flesh can endure it all.
     
  6. Dr. Bob

    Dr. Bob
    Expand Collapse
    Administrator
    Administrator

    Joined:
    Jun 30, 2000
    Messages:
    29,402
    Likes Received:
    12
    Ah, I'm 6'6" and my wife 5'4". We celebrate 40 years in June. So don't think that is valid.

    And found in counseling that the "number of children desired" seldom causes problems. People change, needs change, reality sets in. Where it DOES cause problems is when a couple agrees not to have children and then a few years down the road, the wife changes. Seen a lot of break ups over that.
     
  7. menageriekeeper

    menageriekeeper
    Expand Collapse
    Active Member

    Joined:
    Feb 20, 2004
    Messages:
    7,152
    Likes Received:
    0
    All of them and more. People are selfish. Marriage requires selflessness.
     
  8. Salty

    Salty
    Expand Collapse
    20,000 Posts Club
    Moderator

    Joined:
    Apr 8, 2003
    Messages:
    22,132
    Likes Received:
    221
    Dr. Bob
    I appreciate your valuable input from experience. And as well Scarlett added some excellent points.

    Salty

    ps - as far as height, you noticed, I specifically and purposely put the wife as the taller of the two. - Do you think that a man much shorter than his wife would make a difference?
     
  9. SaggyWoman

    SaggyWoman
    Expand Collapse
    Administrator
    Administrator

    Joined:
    Dec 15, 2000
    Messages:
    17,933
    Likes Received:
    8
    I know a couple that (according to him) split up because she didn't want to have kids and he did.
     
  10. Salty

    Salty
    Expand Collapse
    20,000 Posts Club
    Moderator

    Joined:
    Apr 8, 2003
    Messages:
    22,132
    Likes Received:
    221
    I am sure we all could come up with "that one couple" for any issue. I'm thinking more along the line of good % - say at least 10%
     
  11. Jon-Marc

    Jon-Marc
    Expand Collapse
    New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 10, 2007
    Messages:
    2,752
    Likes Received:
    0
    I suppose a couple can break up over most any reason or excuse if they wanted, but a good loving marriage can survive most anything.

    I knew a couple where one was a Catholic and the other a Pentecostal. They got married and compromised by both becoming Baptists-- a big improvement for both of them in my biased opinion. :laugh:

    I had an aunt who was near 6 feet who married a guy who was 5'3". They had a great, loving marriage and six children.

    I had another aunt who was very attractive who married one of the homeliest guys I had ever seen. They also had a very good marriage and two children who, fortunately, got their looks from their mother. :laugh:

    One you didn't mention was a marriage breaking up over sex. One wants it all the time and can't be satisfied and turns to others outside the marriage, while the other couldn't care less about sex or is satisfied with having it occasionally.

    Marriages also break up over money problems. One has it and the other doesn't and resents the one with the money.

    Marriages break up over drug or drinking problems. My family has had more than its share of drunks. I knew a woman (not in my family) who was married to a man who headed straight for the bar after work every day, staggered home and fell on the bed and passed out. The next day he went to work and did the same thing after work. She waited until the kids were grown and divorced him.

    In my 64 years I have seen very few happy marriages. Too often the wife is too demanding, the husband is too domineering, one or the other is unfaithful, and numerous other reasons why marriages fail. Too many times one or the other will not compromise to make a marriage succeed. It's "My way or the highway. I rule the roost, and you will do as I say or else!"

    There is no such thing as giving 50-50. It should be 100-100. The best and most happy marriage I have ever seen (only once unfortunately) was a couple who both put Christ first in their lives. Then he did his best to please his wife, and she did her best to please her husband. They had learned the "secret" to a happy and fulfilling marriage and how to do it--Put Christ in first place in your life, compromise willingly in the marriage and don't seek just to please yourself.
     
  12. abcgrad94

    abcgrad94
    Expand Collapse
    Active Member

    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2007
    Messages:
    5,533
    Likes Received:
    0
    I would have voted for "one is a saver and one is a big spender" had it been a choice. Height, number of children, etc. don't seem to be a big deal where I come from, but money problems have a huge impact on a marriage, especially if one party has a gambling addiction.
     
  13. tinytim

    tinytim
    Expand Collapse
    <img src =/tim2.jpg>

    Joined:
    Oct 31, 2003
    Messages:
    11,250
    Likes Received:
    0
    I say NONE of these are the reasons marriages break up...

    SELFISHNESS and PRIDE are the only culprits...And some would say they are the same thing.

    We can list symptoms all day long...
    But the root cause is

    "I want my will done."
     
  14. SaggyWoman

    SaggyWoman
    Expand Collapse
    Administrator
    Administrator

    Joined:
    Dec 15, 2000
    Messages:
    17,933
    Likes Received:
    8
    Actually, bottom line, I would have to agree with TinyTIm.
     
  15. MrJim

    MrJim
    Expand Collapse
    New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 22, 2007
    Messages:
    354
    Likes Received:
    0
    LOL my wife is 5'1" and I'm 6'2" and we celebrated 20th anniversary last fall..
     
  16. Dr. Bob

    Dr. Bob
    Expand Collapse
    Administrator
    Administrator

    Joined:
    Jun 30, 2000
    Messages:
    29,402
    Likes Received:
    12
    Why would a woman marry a shrimp? Any guy under 6'4" or 6'5" is probably genetically inferior and not worth marrying of having offspring.

    Remember, God created some like me to be "average" and almost everybody else "short".

    Unbiased truth.










    :tonofbricks:
     
  17. THEOLDMAN

    THEOLDMAN
    Expand Collapse
    New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 4, 2008
    Messages:
    203
    Likes Received:
    0
    mY WIFE IS 5'7", I'M 6' ......I guess we are close enough.
     
  18. Salty

    Salty
    Expand Collapse
    20,000 Posts Club
    Moderator

    Joined:
    Apr 8, 2003
    Messages:
    22,132
    Likes Received:
    221


    You cant argue with logic, now can you:smilewinkgrin:
     
  19. rbell

    rbell
    Expand Collapse
    Active Member

    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2006
    Messages:
    11,103
    Likes Received:
    0

    Shellfish-ness?


    :eek:
     

Share This Page

Loading...