interesting phone call

Discussion in 'Pastoral Ministries' started by bobbyd, Feb 3, 2006.

  1. bobbyd

    bobbyd
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    I got an interesting phone call earlier this week. And elder at the previous church i served at in KY called me and let me know that a lady called from my previous place of service and spoke to the elder up there who was the ring leader in the coup that led to my resignation.
    The caller from here wanted to know "what kind of problems" did they have with me.

    How would you handle this?

    I will add this, for at least a year now there is a group of people...mostly from one family, who have been trying to get rid of me.
    I have been attacked verbally and criticized in business meetings, was nearly physically attacked one sunday morning (he was held back, my crime was telling him i am the pastor here and i will lead the church as God leads me), and i have been lied about.
    So, this phone call doesn't surprise me because these people are desperate to get rid of me. Plus, May marks the end of my 2nd year here, and that is about average for pastors.

    So, how would you handle this?
     
  2. Shiloh

    Shiloh
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    Sounds like you are right on Par. I'v been in this thing for over 30 years, soooooo multiply these things by 15 and you know what you have ahead of you. Just pray your family stays close to God. DON'T COMPROMISE YOUR FAMILY FOR YOUR CHURCH. God gave the family before He ordained the church.
     
  3. bapmom

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    bobbyd,

    may I say, if its mostly from just one family than perhaps something can still be done.

    My preacher had to handle this when something similar was going on at my church a few years ago. One Wednesday night he stood up and gave an ultimatum. He told the congregation that he would not have the church slowly splintered to death, with months or years of hard feelings resulting. He said those who want him as pastor stay and those who felt that they could not support him as pastor needed to leave and to do so immediately....rather than spread dissention and tales through the rest of the church.

    Let me tell you what happened. Several families left....almost all of the tithing members. THese ones who left were so confident that we couldn't do without them, that they went over their bus routes that week and told the kids that our church had shut down. However, because of this trauma in our church, those who had been sitting back on the sidelines stepped up to the plate and started really working hard. There was absolutely no interruption in our bus routes, people started growing in order to fill the gaps left, and we are a thriving church once again.

    Our pastor had to get a secular job for a couple years.....he had 7 kids and a wife to support. There was alot of heartache, alot of friendships were damaged because of the tales that had been told beforehand. But God got him and all the rest of the staff through it. Now I believe our church is stronger for it. And I believe if preacher had let it continue to simmer under the surface than alot more of the new and younger Christians would have been harmed much more.
     
  4. bobbyd

    bobbyd
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    You would think if it was mostly from one family that something could be done...but this family has been doing this for about 80 years.
    3 churches have been started as a result of splits in this church in the last 60 years, one has since merged with another church. And then at least that many other splits have scattered members into various other churches in our area.

    I'm praying that another split doesn't take place...we are about 3 years out of the last one (when the previous pastor left after less than 2 years).
     
  5. Brother Ian

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    Are you saying an elder from a previous church called you or that an elder in your current church called you? :confused:
     
  6. bobbyd

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    An elder from my previous church (we had elders rather than deacons, and it was baptist) called me to let me know that a woman from my current place of service called up there wanting to know about their problems with me.
    The guy who called me wanted me to have a heads up because of who she talked to up there...that person is also an elder. He really didn't see how any good could come out of the conversation considering the topic and who she spoke to.
     
  7. shannonL

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    As wicked as this family may be in your church your still facing a up hill battle in a sense.
    What I mean is this. You probably have plenty of folk that would love to have stay and they know your a man of integrity. However remember this.
    Blood is thicker than water. In other words if it comes to a ultimatum those folk that want you to stay are going to have to step to the plate with the preacher they have only known 2yrs. versus the family they have known for possibly decades.
    It will take very strong convictions for those folk who believe in you to step out from the folk they have known. Not saying it can't be done. God is able. It is still something to consider as you make up your mind to stick it out or not.
    If you do get ready. Like a previous poster stated the first thing that will happen is the big money people will go in order to force you out by going broke or hungry. So you have to be willing to get a job on the side or whatever if it comes to that.
    If you believe God has called you there then stay there. Don't let some ole bully of a family run you out of dodge. The good people in that church just might be waiting for a man of God to put a stop to that family's domination of that church.

    No matter what though take care of your family.
    they are your first responsibility.

    I share this info. with you via personal experience. Your church sounds like my first church.

    Whatever you do stay right before the Lord. Let them show their true colors. Don't put yourself in a position to defend yourself for something you didn't do etcc.... The moment you do that you have become their "preacher boy" , their puppet.

    Don't say a word to any of your people whatsoever about that phone call. Take it before the Lord and let that be that. I can promise you the lady that called that elder has already scorched the phone lines in your hometown.

    Stay above reproach, speak the truth boldly but in love. Do what is right and let God sort it out.

    You'll make it. Don't quit.Keep your eyes on Jesus and not the circus.

    God bless you brother and be courageous.
     
  8. gb93433

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    Sounds like things are ripe for a good sermon on gossip.
     
  9. blackbird

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    The preacher was giving the invitation---when the church's biggest "gossip" walked the isle

    "Preacher! I want to rededicate my life! I wanna lay my tongue down on the altar!"

    The preacher says--"M'am! Our altar ain't but 14 feet long----but go right ahead and lay it down---we'll do the best we can!!!!" :D [​IMG] [​IMG]
     
  10. blackbird

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    Bobbyd---it sounds like your "Midnite Caller" has been watchin' too much CSI on television and needs to go "vent" in his/her flower garden somewhere!

    I would say---Remember when Jesus saw Nathanial and made the proclamation

    "Behold! An Israelite indeed, in whom is no guile!"

    Well---what Jesus was saying was this---there's absolutely nothing on the inside that would tarnish the reputation on the outside!!

    Being from Louisiana myself---with a big, bad reputation of fishing the Atchafaylaya River swamp---I know every now and then--the boat motor prop will "drag bottom" and stur the mud up---this lady/man is "fishin'" for things in your life---#1 Don't let the propeller of your life stir up the muddy bottom and #2 Don't give him/her nothing to catch!!

    As Nathanial face to face with the Lord Jesus Christ---let there remain in you "no guile!"
     
  11. Brother Ian

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    Okay BobbyD, I understand now.

    It shames me to think of what people that claim Christ as their Savior will stoop to.
     
  12. bruren777

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    Bobbyd,
    I'm praying for you!

    God Bless.
     
  13. TomVols

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    Never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never use the pulpit to defend yourself or attack your critics. It will only galvanize your critics and offend the sensibilities of your supporters. No good comes from it. The pulpit is for preaching the Word of God.
     
  14. jshurley04

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    Sounds alot like a church I was in in MO. where one particular family basically ran the church. The father of the clan did not like our pastor and thought that he was ruining the church. Actually told the pastor that he was not baptist and was not preaching from the bible 5 min before the morning service started on Sunday and then ripped up his tithe check and threw it at the pastor.

    My pastor handled all of this with great maturity for this being his first pulpit full time. He determined that he would grow the church around this family and then allow those that he was able to bring into the church to take leadership positions so that this family did not have total control any longer. They had a son that was the treasurer but was a big supporter of the pastor. He was voted in by a total of 13 votes and when he resigned several years later, we were averaging about 90. He just could not get over the hump with this family, they maintained their influence and eventually bullied everyone back into submission shortly after he left.

    My heart goes out to you.
     
  15. gb93433

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    Never, never, never, never, never, never, never, never use the pulpit to defend yourself or attack your critics. It will only galvanize your critics and offend the sensibilities of your supporters. No good comes from it. The pulpit is for preaching the Word of God. </font>[/QUOTE]The word of God says no gossip. Gossip is not a matter of voicing an opinion. It does nothing but damage. As James says the damage the tongue can do originates in hell. If there is offense the Bible declares what to do. Too many pastors and church members gossip and call that sharing. In my early years as a Christian in the church I attended I saw what happened to people who gossiped. When it happened the gossiper was immediately confronted. The first time I preached on gossip I realized that few understood what gossip really was.
     

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