Is it Ever Right to Lie?

You know this subject has always bothered me.

Do you tell a woman that her dress is ugly?

Do you tell a woman her dress is beautiful when you think it is ugly?

How far to we go to tell the truth?

My father told me once that I didn't have to tell everything that I knew or thought. That many times it is better to say nothing. Is this lying?

My father told me this after my Sunday School teacher had taught a lesson on lying. I was only 9 years old and a new Christian. I wanted to do everything right so I told my Dad all my sins and everything that I did. I was driving him crazy with my "confessions" of wrong doing.

My mother always said be very careful about calling someone a liar. She would not allow us to call anyone a liar.

One night when my dad was ill in a hospital bed, he drilled a water well and he wanted me to help me. He even told me I had given him the wrong tool. In his mind, he was drilling a water well.

In Jim's Dad's mind, he was in England.

Is it really a sin to say nothing?

 

A lady down the street was pushing her child in a stroller and I had not met them. I approached her from behind the stroller and leaned over to see her 'baby'. She had a badly deformed little girl. You know how the first thing you usually say is 'What a beautiful baby'?? Well... I was saying 'Oh Look...' caught my self and said 'at all those teeth! What a big girl you are!'

I try to not lie but I try to not hurt people either. If someone asks about a dress I might comment on the color or how it brings out their eyes or some kind remark... but I'm sure we do all tell little white lies while trying not to hurt others.

In both of the above instances... I think you were 'with' your father's in their memory... it would have been very upsetting to them if you had tried to tell them they were wrong... What you did was very loving and kind.

Diane

 

Rember Peter, a beloved disciple who outright lied three times about even knowing Jesus at His very crucifixon? That was in self defence. he feared for his life at the time. He lied. Plain and simple, and that was never brought up to his face.....in fact, Jesus told him beforehand that he would deny him thrice before the cock crowed....Jesus knew Peter would lie.

Cheers,

Jim

 

Use of bold type doth not make your point any more convincing.

As a general rule, tell the truth in all you do and say.

However, there can be times when lying can be the best option. Your options must be examined on a case by case basis.

If you are lying not for selfish reasons, but to protect someone, I truly see no problem with it. The example I gave in Exodus demonstrates that there are occasions when God has no problem with lying.

What about Christian missionaries who lie about their intentions in communist countries so they can get in and spread the gospel.
Are they sinning?
Would it, in your opinion, be better if the entrance into the country went more like.

Border Guard: What is your purpose of travelling in this country
Missionary: Uhh, we're gonna preach the word and hand out bibles
Border Guard: *KABLAMM!*

That's an extreme example...
What about trivial moments, like trying to organise a surprise party? Is that ok then?

Also I Am Blessed 16, I'd appreciate it if you'd tell me what you'd have said had you been an Egyptian Midwife.


I truly don't see how people can have a black and white viewpoint on this one.

God gives you minds, reason and deduction to decide the best course of action at all times.

-KFC

 

KFC- Sue (IAmBlessed16) won't be here to answer you. Her computer went kaflooie this afternoon. She called me at 5:00 my time and said it will be in the shop for a couple of days. I didn't want you to think she was ignoring your question.

Diane

 

Jim,

My grandfather was a naval officer who went to work for the railroad after his retirement (mostly to get away from my grandmother).

During the last year of his life (and it took him a year to die - it was excruciating to those of us who loved him), he became quite senile and would often have episodes like your father. In his mind he would be on the train.

All of us kids, when we were younger, would ride the train with him and when we would see him in the last year, we would call out sites along the tracks just like we did when we were kids. That seemed to make him so happy. It never occured to me that that would be a "lie" and I still don't believe it is.

One of the hallucinations he had was from back when he had been a bus driver. The doctor came into the room and my grandfather yelled at him, "Not on my bus! Your boots are muddy! You've got mud all over them. Wipe them off before you get on." The doctor, being a good sport, would take his shoes off before coming into his room.

 

1Kings 22:21
And there came forth a spirit, and stood before the LORD, and said, I will persuade him. 22 And the LORD said unto him, Wherewith? And he said, I will go forth, and I will be a lying spirit in the mouth of all his prophets. And he said, Thou shalt persuade him, and prevail also: go forth, and do so. 23 Now therefore, behold, the LORD hath put a lying spirit in the mouth of all these thy prophets, and the LORD hath spoken evil concerning thee.

 

Mike, in my mind you did the right thing. Good on you. To make the senile smile is worth a fortune; to give them a little pleasure is golden; I believe God is smiling too.....If you have done it unto the least of these, you have done it unto me.

Cheers, and God bless.

PS. I wrestled with my situation and then did it. I ask some unsaved people in our village what they thought, and they all thought it was the right thing to do. Not one person thought I was lying to deceive.

Jim

 

Thanks for the info Diane,
Timothy, do you have anything to say in reply to the real life examples that I have presented.
How would you approach them?

-KFC

 

1Samuel 16:1
And the LORD said unto Samuel, How long wilt thou mourn for Saul, seeing I have rejected him from reigning over Israel? fill thine horn with oil, and go, I will send thee to Jesse the Bethlehemite: for I have provided me a king among his sons. 2 And Samuel said, How can I go? if Saul hear it, he will kill me. And the LORD said, Take an heifer with thee, and say, I am come to sacrifice to the LORD.

 

I have no sure idea of how to reconcile all these scriptures. Perhaps one can lie to prevent someone from doing evil with the truth.

 

Thanks. He was such a strong man when he was healthy and full of life so it was nice to be able to make him feel like he had a little bit of control, if only in his own mind. It was nice, too, to relive those memories with him before he died, even if he didn't know it. I can't wait to introduce you to him.

 

Timothy, do you have anything to say in reply to the real life examples that I have presented.
How would you approach them?

KFC (mmm... fried chicken) I have no solid understanding on this topic. I try and never lie, but there are many counterexamples in scripture. I don't want to lead anyone astray with my personal opinion, since if I'm wrong I could be leading others to commit sin. This is definitely something I need to look into more.

 

God's Word is true and available for all "real life circumstances". In all of the verses I quoted, not one of them says "unless it will save a life" or "hurt someone's feelings". We always get into these conversations of what if. God meant what he said in his word. Those are an awful lot of verses to "excuse" away. As for me, I trust God enough to know that he will provide a way for me to be honest, unless it is not his will for me to keep things hidden.

To assume you know what would have happened if the Isrealite women told the truth is awfully presumptious. There is no way you can know for certain that would have been the result. My God is powerful enough to honor them for telling the truth, if he is powerful enough to honor them in spite of telling a lie. You have no way of knowing if they would have lived or died.

Rahab was not an Isrealite, she did not know the law. What she did do was believe in God. Like the Isrealite women, she was honored for why she did what she did, not how she did it. She is in the hall of faith, for showing faith, not how she did so. For someone who didn't even know the law, she recognized who God was.

As for not hurting people's feelings. Is it right to lie to them to tell them they look nice in a dress that others might laugh and ridicule them for wearing? Suppose your teenage daughter come home crying because she was teased and you could have saved her from that pain by "being honest" in the first place. There are nice and polite ways to tell the truth. We ask those we "trust" for a reason.

Is God a liar when he says he hates lying? If lying is alright and "honored" in some instances, I believe that makes him a liar. What point is there in believing in a God who lies? Jesus is the Way the Truth and the Life. If He is the Truth, He can also show us a Way to live in that Truth.

Again, we have been down this path. There will always be those looking for justification for lying. There will always be those of us who believe God meant it when he said he hated lying. Since no verse tells us of any "exceptions" to the rule, we feel we must obey God rather than man. We believe our God is powerful enough to provide a way for His will to be done if we honor Him by telling the truth.

In short to tell a lie because you think it is the "only" solution is to play God and say for certain you know for sure what the furture holds.

~Lorelei

 

I agree that you were doing the right thing. If anything you were honoring your grandfather.

And, as Jim said, "To make the senile smile is worth a fortune; to give them a little pleasure is golden; I believe God is smiling too.....If you have done it unto the least of these, you have done it unto me."