Is it normal to grieve?

Discussion in 'Pastoral Ministries' started by ServingHim, Jan 30, 2008.

  1. ServingHim

    ServingHim
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    I have been an associate/youth pastor in the west Texas area for about 5 yrs. Recently I have accepted a call to Pastor in Oklahoma. I will be moving to the new field in about a month. I really love the people that we have been serving, and have grown attached to them. However, we really feel the Lord is calling us to the new field. We feel like we are going through a grieving process because we are leaving people we love so dearly. Is this normal?
     
  2. cowboymatt

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    My wife and I did. I was a youth minster in Waco, TX before coming out the California to work on my PhD and it proved to be a very tough process, for both us and the church in Waco (especially on the youth). The thing that helped us get through it was that we had bathed our decision in prayer and were convinced it was the right thing to do. This made us feel less guilty, but we still had to deal with the pain of leaving loved ones behind.
     
  3. annsni

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    It's absolutely completely normal when you're well established, have a good set of friends and a great support network. It's so hard to leave those you love but if God's in it, He's got something really good for you on the other side.
     
  4. Tom Bryant

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    Is the church you're at your first full time church ministry? If it is, it is even more normal. What's more passionate than a first love?

    But it is also says something really good about you. Even though you are comfortable and being used where you are, you follow the Lord's will and move elsewhere. That's a step of obedience that will be blessed.
     
  5. 4His_glory

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    There is nothing wrong with grieving. Its only natural. We moved not just out of state, but thousands of miles away. Some days we still get teary eyed and are hearts ache and we long to be with those we left behind, (starting to happen now just thinking of it), but we rejoice as well that we are serving God in the place He has chosen for us. If I wasn´t convinced of that I would never stay.
     
  6. Born_in_Crewe

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    I think its pretty natural that you would get attached to a church and its people. If you weren't upset to leave then it would probably mean you didn't care about them.
     
  7. MNJacob

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    People have a tendency to forget that Dr. Kubler-Ross developed her description of the greiving process in response to any traumatic event, not just the death of a loved one.

    Moving and changing jobs are just barely below the the loss of a spouse in their effects on the human mind.
     
  8. Rubato 1

    Rubato 1
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    It is normal and a sign of healthy relationships.
     
  9. bobbyd

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    I would say it is normal. I pastored a very unhealthy church in south Louisiana and we left right before the church split for the 2nd time in 5 years and 3rd time in 20 years...of course it is always the fault of everyone other than the remant. Needless to say we were very hurt by a lot of what happened, and when we left we knew that it was God's hand getting us out at the right time.
    In spite of this though, leaving was very bitter sweet because we built some tremendous relationships down there that we maintain today. So, what you are going through seems normal to me.
     
  10. SaggyWoman

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    Many times that I have moved away from a church that I have actively loved, I went through a grieving process. Most certainly it is normal.
     
  11. Tom Butler

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    The alternative to grieving over separation from a church whose people you loved and loved you, is being glad you're leaving.
     
  12. SaggyWoman

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    roflol. There were some of those, too.
     
  13. Tom Butler

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    I suspect if one is in the ministry for any length of time, he'll have one of those bad experiences. Seems as if more churches are going through this than ever before. Breaks my heart.
     
  14. Ed Edwards

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    This is normal when moving from Texas to Oklahoma. After 30 years, however, the grief feeling will begin to wane.

    I was born the first time in Sept 1943 in Borger Texas.
    I was born the second time in April 1952 in Elk City Oklahoma

    My parents were born in Depew and Coalgate Oklahoma
    My first wife was born in Archer City Texas.
    My second wife was born in Bonham Texas.

    -Ed Edwards,
    Texan by birth,
    Oklahoman by choice
    In Christ by the Grace of God
     
    #14 Ed Edwards, Feb 8, 2008
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 8, 2008
  15. SaggyWoman

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    Actually, I should say, I was glad I was moving so that I could leave the difficult church.
     
  16. generichaze

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    I had that happen to me when I was banned from Lebanon. I am still going through the process somewhat. What part of Oklahoma did you move to?
     
  17. chuck2336

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    Ed, I did not realize you were a foriegn missionary! How I admire those who are able to leave God's country and travel over the far reaches to bring the gospel to the pagens um I mean sooners!

    :laugh:

    Dont mess with TEXAS!
    :applause:
     

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