One morning the Pope's aide burst into his office in Vatican City, so excited he was in tears. "What is it?", asked the Pope. "You're eminence, I have good news and bad news regarding the return of the Lord to Earth!" "OK", the Pope says, "What's the good news?" "Holy Father, the good news is that Jesus has returned! He's on the phone right now, and He wants to speak with you!" "What's the bad news?" "He's calling from Salt Lake City."