Jokes for Our Southern Brothers and Sisters!

Discussion in 'General Baptist Discussions' started by righteousdude2, Jul 23, 2013.

  1. righteousdude2

    righteousdude2
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    I hope no one is offended with these. I'd have added a California joke, if there had been one to add. But, in fairness to the good people of the Golden State, the truth is, California is a joke without anything being said beyond that point! :wavey:

    Florida:

    A Florida senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he pushed it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left. "Amazing," he thought as he flew down I-95, pushing the pedal even more.

    Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a Florida State Trooper, blue lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this!" and pulled over to await the trooper's arrival.

    Pulling in behind him, the trooper got out of his vehicle and walked up to the Corvette. He looked at his watch, then said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes and today is Friday. If you can give me a new reason for speeding--a reason I've never before heard -- I'll let you go."

    The old gentleman paused then said: "Three years ago, my wife ran off with a Florida State Trooper. I thought maybe you were bringing her back.

    "Have a good day, Sir," replied the trooper.


    Georgia:

    The owner of a golf course in Georgia was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help.
    He called her into his office and said, "Y'all graduated from the University of Georgia and I need some help. If I wuz to give yew $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?"
    The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, "Everything but my earrings."


    Louisiana:

    A senior citizen in Louisiana was overheard saying ... "When the end of the world comes, I hope to be in Louisiana."

    When asked why, he replied, "I'd rather be in Louisiana 'cause everything happens in Louisiana 20 years later than in the rest of the world."


    Mississippi:

    The young man from Mississippi came running into the store and said to his buddy, "Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!"

    Bubba replied, "Did y'all see who it was?"
    The young man answered, "I couldn't tell, but I got the license number."


    North Carolina:

    A man in North Carolina had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behind it. Then he got back in the car to wait.
    A passerby studied the scene as he drove by, and was so curious he turned around and went back. He asked the fellow what the problem was.
    The man replied, "I got a flat tahr."

    The passerby asked, "But what's with the flowers?"

    The man responded, "When you break down they tell you to put flares in the front and flares in the back. I never did understand it neither."


    Tennessee:

    A Tennessee State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-65. The trooper asked, "Got any ID?"
    The driver replied, "Bout whut?"


    Texas:

    The Sheriff pulled up next to the guy unloading garbage out of his pick-up into the ditch. The Sheriff asked, "Why are you dumping garbage in the ditch? Don't you see that sign right over your head."

    "Yep," he replied. "That's why I'm dumping' it here, 'cause it says: 'Fine For Dumping Garbage.'"


    ***************************

    Y'all kin say whut y'all want 'about the South,
    but y'all never heard o' nobody retiring' an' moving' North.


    I hope y'all enjoyed these, as I got some good chuckles, and had to share them with those who know a good joke when they hear one!

    God bless! And Long live the South! :thumbsup:
     
  2. saturneptune

    saturneptune
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    LOL, ok, well, I will do the honors for Kentucky. 3 million people, 15 last names.
    Why do we call it the tooth brush? The state bird is the fly.
     
  3. saturneptune

    saturneptune
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    California Space Program

    CASA (California Space Administration) announced this morning they are sending a man to the sun, and will launch at night to avoid being burnt up.

    [​IMG]
     
  4. InTheLight

    InTheLight
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    They are a little bit different down South. Here in Minnesota at the State Zoo we have animals with their names listed on a placard in English, followed by the another placard listing the scientific name for the species in latin. Down South they have the placard listing the animals name and another placard with a recipe.
     
  5. John of Japan

    John of Japan
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    Speaking of Southern humor, our co-workers have an Internet connection for their TV, so they showed us Duck Dynasty for the first time ever last night. I laughed and laughed. Thought I was back in my home church in TN!
     
  6. Mexdeaf

    Mexdeaf
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    DD is one of the few shows we watch on TV.
     
  7. Thousand Hills

    Thousand Hills
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    The OP and post #4 have been reported to the moderators, both posters have been put on my Ignore List as well.

    When will this madness stop?!!???!! :BangHead:

    How long will the moderators let this go on??!!!!????

    THIS THREAD SHOULD BE CLOSED!!!!!!!!















    :laugh: :tongue3: :laugh:
     
  8. Mexdeaf

    Mexdeaf
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    Nah- down South we don't need a "zoo". All we need is a road, a shovel, and a cookpot.
     
    #8 Mexdeaf, Jul 24, 2013
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 24, 2013

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