Leagalism Help

He may have seemed overly critical in his opinion of the music, but it seems he was being honest in his opinion. He may have misunderstood your sentimental value of the music, also.


How large is the church? Pastors are very busy, and if someone who attends, but is not a member, especially if the family is distant to the church body, he may not have known you well enough to think you needed a call. Many people who don't commit themselves to a church will not be bothered by the pastor because the pastor doesn't want to intrude. They assume you want to keep your distance. But that doesn't mean he wasn't praying for you.

It seems that you have already formed a damaging opinion of the pastor, and have also involved other members, before ever taking it up with the pastor. Many of the issues you have could have been confronted without the questions ever becoming problems. Legalism isn't the issue here. Maybe you need to see what you really expect from a pastor, and understand that when you ask an honest man a question, he may give you a very blunt, honest answer.

 

I haven't been able to locate that scripture laying out the limitations for music. That said, I do have my own standard based on what I perceive to be worldly and sensual. I can tolerate those who are more conservative than me more so than those who are more lenient. But this is going to be a personal decision for you in that regard. A pastor has a responsibility to establish standards for music in his church but I find no basis for him to extend that standard legalistically into a member's home.

Personally, I wouldn't complain if there were just a couple of hymns or even no music at all in church. I would rather hear a good expositor of the Word than any singer I have ever heard.

With regard to your illness, I think understanding and forgiveness are in order. He may have no excuse other than not having thought of your expectation that he call. Further, where are the deacons? It is specifically their responsibility to call on the sick and elderly. Where are the other members? Are the elder women not concerned about leading and setting the godly example for your wife?

I am being a little prickly but there is enough blame to go around without concentrating on the pastor only.

 

Folks, let's not forget what was said in the beginning: This young man is just out of bible college. It's obvious that this young pastor is NEW to pastoring.

See, if there's one thing about pastoring, it's "leading", and the one word that best defines "leadership" is "servant."

In my questioning about bible colleges and schools, the one thing they don't teach well (or at all) is leadership.

This young pastor is obviously zealous, and wants to do a good job; he just hasn't been taught how to be a pastor.

 

Honestly, my first thought is... get over it.

1.) You asked his opinion. He gave it to you. I don't think I would have asked my pastor's opinion on a song. If I did, I would have buckled up to deal with his response. Kind of opens me up for criticism.

Aside from the fact that the kind of music I like--well--any music--is open to a lot of criticism.

2.) Sickness. Alot depends on the size of the church you attend. I think because you were sick, a phone call or a card would have been better. Why should a pastor risk getting sick--though he needs to express concern.