Leaving a Church

I'm not sure I understand your question.

 

Precepts, I think that's sad a small for you to be treated that way. As followers of Christ we ought to be above pettiness. In our church, a deacon and his family left and went to another IFB church with "more to offer" than ours. Of course we went to see them and tried to tell them to stay and make our church "idea" (whatever that is) but they felt "led" to leave anyway. The good news is that his wife still calls mine from time to time, and they go bowling, etc. One thing I didn't like is that some of our members, the minority at least, kept them at arm's length when they came to our church for a funeral. And since the Deacon and his family are White, and not one other member is White (except the Pastor), one or two said that's why they left, because there were no other Whites. The Pastor had to nip that one!
I hope your former church friends mature and realize we're all on the same team!
God bless, Bro Kevin

 

Can you explain? I'm not looking for specifics... but I assume we're not talking visions, voices, or pillar of fire/smoke. How were you able to distinguish between God's prompting and a reluctance to resolve a conflict Biblically (for example)?

 

Despite the fact that we share a commonality in Jesus, we do have different personalities, and these often enter into conflict. We leave one church and join with another. This is not wrong. In fact, it should benefit the cause of Christ.

All involved, however, should give God's speed to the brethren. Sadly, there some church folk who practice shunning, and make that clear. Again, this is the old self interacting. The weapon against this is a smile, and God bless you.

Cheers,

Jim

 

Why not?

Since when is God's answer to conflict resolution to take our ball and play elsewhere? Doctrinal differences are one matter. Leaving because you can't live with Deacon Jones outspoken mother-in-law but are too scared to make waves is quite another. God wants us to live peaceably with all men. Shouldn't that begin at home- in the church?

A common theme I'm beginning to pick up on in places such as this is people's disatisfaction with "cultic," controlling pastors. If you are leaving a church because of something like this, instead of confronting and attempting to resolve peacefully and Biblically, I believe you are doing God, yourself, and your fellow church members a grave disservice.

 

Precepts,

I feel for ya as I'm going through the same thing with having had to leave a Church, except my reasons were different then yours. It's funny though, people will still talk to my wife (well a few of them) but because as lot of them are under the false impression that I was sexually involved with another women do to a statement made by the Sr. Pastor when he announced my leaving, none seem to have any desire to talk to me, nor to try to "restore me". I know I made the right choice by leaving there.


Jim

 

It is sad when churches are like that. I have heard it said that it is good when you can leave a church on good terms and come back anytime for meetings, too bad some churches wont let you do that. I guess all one can do is pray for them and be kind to them.

 

Thank you, Precepts, for explaining your question.

I am sorry that you have experienced this. When I have changed churches, it was because I moved to a different town. Some of the people I have kept in touch with over the years.

It is probably that some people are just uncomfortable and maybe they feel hurt or responsible for your leaving.

I would suggest that you look forward, keep your eyes on Jesus and make new friends in your new church. Don't let it bother you if some of the people in the old church appear to be stand offish.

May God Bless You in the Walk with Him!

 

I am guilty of this very thing. There is a church several hundred miles from me that had a split. A big group left first & then a smaller next. I was very close to the latter.

I felt "betrayed" by those folks, & yes, I treated them rather 'snotty'(long-distance). I have since gotten over it, but am ashamed of my behaviour. I guess I wanted things to stay the way they were, so when I go back for a visit, they'd still be there.

I liked SisThankful's topic on "Grudges"...it seems to fit here, as well.

 

Some of this may have to do with hurt feelings. You chose another church instead of theirs, and maybe that's interpreted as your rejection of them, and so they are a little wary of you.

 

I still believe that much of what you (and others in your position) are experiencing is the result of unresolved conflict. A wonderful resource that you might find helpful is a book called The Peacemaker by Ken Sande. His ministry has a website: www.hispeace.org. His 4 basic principles are simple...

Glorify God
Get The Log Out of Your Own Eye
Gently Restore
Go And Be Reconciled

Sande has this to say about personal reconciliation:

 

Disassociating with a church member that moves into another church is one of the clear signs of a cult.Any church that claims that if you leave God will punish you and you'll be lost is a cult.They are not Christian at their core.

 

???
I am not under the impression that this ever has been mentioned in the context of this thread. No one has mentioned anything even resembling loss of salvation to my knowledge.

 

Than you've really done all you can do. I don't know what you mean by not remaining in an abusive situation (i thought you said you left the church?) but you probably could continue to be cordial, anyway.

I guess a lot of this sort of stuff could be avoided if we all took Pauls' word's to the Philippians more seriously, and we each esteemed the other better than ourselves.