[If you cannot understand satire, please don't post in this thread. Thank you.] Since many pious BB'ers profess to interpret the Bible literally as opposed to us apostate "allegorists", I propose that we "allegorists" repent and start interpreting the Bible in the wooden, materialistic sense that our superiors do. I'll get the ball rolling and my fellow allegorists can add examples of their own repentance: For as long as I can remember, I have interpreted Matthew 18:22 to mean that there is no limit to how many times we are to forgive our brother that repents. However, I now repent of that allegorism, and shall never forgive a brother after his four hundred and ninetieth sin. What other scriptures should we allegorists be taking literally?