Looking for some Scripture

Discussion in 'General Baptist Discussions' started by JMSR, Oct 12, 2009.

  1. JMSR

    JMSR
    Expand Collapse
    New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 8, 2009
    Messages:
    212
    Likes Received:
    0
    I'm sure there are plenty of you that can help me with this. Here's my deal. My wife is Apostolic and within the last year began attending church pretty regular. She has been taking my 5 yr old daughter and most recently my infant son. I have a problem with that but have not said a lot about it. I decided to begin attending church regularly (I havn't been). I requested that my kids go with me, and we've had our arguments about it, so I just drew the line and demanded it. I know I havn't handled my side of it very well. She really isn't open to any doctrinal discussion, which is really probably better now anyway because I get quite flamed at her condescending attitude when discussing Scripture. Lately I've been doing a lot of searching on what they really believe and from that made the decision that I really didn't want my kids there. She's sent me some literature on what she believes and some of it is quite disturbing. My question here is not about doctrine or if I'm right or wrong, we probably won't discuss it much in the near future. I'm trying to search out some Scripture that will help me to understand better with this issue the things I really need to be focusing on. Thanks.
     
  2. Crabtownboy

    Crabtownboy
    Expand Collapse
    Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2008
    Messages:
    16,620
    Likes Received:
    158
    What are some of the beliefs you and your wife differ on?
     
  3. Johnv

    Johnv
    Expand Collapse
    New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 24, 2001
    Messages:
    21,321
    Likes Received:
    0
    Are you referring to a church that is part of the Apostolic denomination? If so, they are similar to Pentacostals, but are not part of the "oneness" movement common in pentecostalism.

    Apostolic doctrine consists of:

    A Triune God
    The depravity of man, which requires repentance for salvation
    Baptism of the Holy Spirit for believers, with signs following
    Water baptism (immersion) and communion as the two ordinances
    Authority of Scripture
    A Church government by Apostles, Prophets, Evangelist, Pastors, Teachers, Elders and Deacons
    The ability to fall from grace (arminianism)

    I'm curious what it is you have a problem with. But more importantly, I'm curious why you married someone that you don't attend church with. If it wasn't an issue for the two of you to be attending separate churches, then it should not be an issue for your children to go to church with her.
     
    #3 Johnv, Oct 12, 2009
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 12, 2009
  4. JMSR

    JMSR
    Expand Collapse
    New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 8, 2009
    Messages:
    212
    Likes Received:
    0
    Belief in the Trinity
    Baptism of the Holy Ghost
    standards
    their use of tongues loosely in church


    There are others, but I think I worded my original post a little bad. When I said I was looking for what I should be focusing on, I wasn't referring to points that I could make to her, but rather Scripture that pertains to my own life and walk that will help carry me through this time.
     
  5. JMSR

    JMSR
    Expand Collapse
    New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 8, 2009
    Messages:
    212
    Likes Received:
    0
    She is adament oneness. In fact one of the articles on the Trinity she sent me went so far as to say it was pagan and whoever believed in it was cursed by God and were going to hell. To clarify, I've never really attended church with her much though I have gone for certain occassions. Through our marriage most of the time we attended she would attend with me, but in the end decided she didn't get anything out of it, because the pastors weren't anointed.
     
    #5 JMSR, Oct 12, 2009
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 12, 2009
  6. Johnv

    Johnv
    Expand Collapse
    New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 24, 2001
    Messages:
    21,321
    Likes Received:
    0
    I see. I hate to be crass about this, but scripture addresses these issues prior to two people marrying. I'm curious as to why you didn't think it necessary to resolve this issue prior to marriage.
     
  7. JMSR

    JMSR
    Expand Collapse
    New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 8, 2009
    Messages:
    212
    Likes Received:
    0
    It really wasn't an issue (that either of us were concerned about) then, and not getting married was really out of the question. I'll stop there, as that's not really the focus of this thread. I will say we are at a much better place now than were were then.
     
  8. Johnv

    Johnv
    Expand Collapse
    New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 24, 2001
    Messages:
    21,321
    Likes Received:
    0
    Forgive me, but it's very pertinent to the situation you're currently in. You can't sit down at an Italian restaurant and then express concern about not being able to order dim sum.

    If this wasn't an issue when you married, then it shouldn't be an issue now.
     
  9. Zenas

    Zenas
    Expand Collapse
    Active Member

    Joined:
    May 7, 2007
    Messages:
    2,640
    Likes Received:
    6
    You're looking for scripture to help your present situation. How about 1 Corinthians 7:12-16?
    You should have been concerned about this when you got married, but there is no need to beat yourself up over it now. You can't go back and change that. You need to look to the future and be the best husband and father you can, and most of all pray for your family daily.
     
  10. matt wade

    matt wade
    Expand Collapse
    Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jan 6, 2009
    Messages:
    6,156
    Likes Received:
    76
    This is one of the dumbest things I have ever read from you John. Just because JMSR and his wife were in one state of mind and place when they got married, you are saying that they now shouldn't worry about it? That's like saying, well I have sinned in my life previously, so now I can just keep sinning because it it wasn't an issue then, so it shouldn't be an issue now.

    Sounds like JMSR and his wife married and were not concerned of spiritual matters at that point in their life. We've all been there at some point. JMSR and his wife are now both concerned about spiritual matters, and unfortunately they have differing beliefs.

    JMSR, my advice would be to to first pray diligently for your wife and children. If which church your children go to is a source of problems, try and work a deal with your wife that the kids alternate churches each week. Then, find a church that is solidly based on God's Word and has a great kid's program. Make sure your kids have a great time at church and make sure they are learning the true way of salvation.

    When looking for a church, find one with an AWANA program or something like it (assuming your kids are somewhere in the K-8 age range). That usually adds another night you get to take your kids to your church as most churches run these programs on Wednesday nights.

    Have Bible studies with your kids at home. Invite your wife to the Bible studies, but do it out of love and don't show an attitude if she won't join you.

    Attend every picnic, outing, and everything else you can at church and take your kids. Go on visitation and take your kids. Make your church a second home to your kids. Make it a place they love and want to go.
     
  11. JMSR

    JMSR
    Expand Collapse
    New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 8, 2009
    Messages:
    212
    Likes Received:
    0
    So because we weren't focused on God when we were married I can't seek the right path now? Sorry I don't follow you.

    Thank you Zenas.
     
  12. JMSR

    JMSR
    Expand Collapse
    New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 8, 2009
    Messages:
    212
    Likes Received:
    0

    This is one of the main issues I have. I strongly disagree with their way of salvation, hence the reason I really don't want my children attending her church. Thank you for your suggestions.
     
  13. Aaron

    Aaron
    Expand Collapse
    Member

    Joined:
    Sep 4, 2000
    Messages:
    15,646
    Likes Received:
    223
    I agree.

    You won't win her by giving her ultimatums, Scriptural as they may be. What's happening to you is the fruit of the seeds you've sewn, and God will not be mocked.

    Your recourse here is much prayer and fasting.
     
  14. JMSR

    JMSR
    Expand Collapse
    New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 8, 2009
    Messages:
    212
    Likes Received:
    0
    I understand. My mother has told me the same. I want to focus on my own personal walk. I realize I was harsh with my ultimatum, but I also ask, when is it ok to make one? Just to save a point of argument, should I allow my daughter to be taught that tongues are required for salvation? Or that it's not pleasing to God for her to wear shorts or pants around the house? I'm not being sarcastic. These are real questions.
     
  15. Johnv

    Johnv
    Expand Collapse
    New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 24, 2001
    Messages:
    21,321
    Likes Received:
    0
    No, not at all. I'm saying this is is something that should have been addressed prior to marriage.
    I defer to what Aaron said. What you're experiencing is the fruit of the seeds you've sewn previously. You won't win your spouse over by giving her ultimatums. I likewise encourage time of personal prayer and fasting. All you can do is set a scriptural example in your own life, and hope that your light shines sufficiently so that she will see what the Christ of our Salvation looks like. If she was good enough to marry and make children with, then it would be inconsistent to think of her not good enough to take the kids to church with her. Your only recource with the kids is to instruct them at home as any father would. Keep praying and fasting.
     
    #15 Johnv, Oct 12, 2009
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 12, 2009
  16. JMSR

    JMSR
    Expand Collapse
    New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 8, 2009
    Messages:
    212
    Likes Received:
    0
    Yes it SHOULD have been but it WASN'T. Now what?
     
  17. Johnv

    Johnv
    Expand Collapse
    New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 24, 2001
    Messages:
    21,321
    Likes Received:
    0
    As it has already been said, you're reaping what you're sewing. You've got to live with the fact that you and she are of differing faiths. The best you can do is to be a faithful husband, and hope that she will in time see the fruits you sow.

    You asked earlier when is it ok to make an ultimatum. A wise and loving husband never makes a decision for the household unless he has his wife in agreement with him. I encourage you to work on that first and foremost.
     
  18. JMSR

    JMSR
    Expand Collapse
    New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 8, 2009
    Messages:
    212
    Likes Received:
    0
    Thank you. I can see that I'm reaping what I sewed, and I know that I have a long way to go. I want to deal with this the right way. I also feel that even though I have not in years past lived the life a Christian should, it does not negate what I know to be right. I'm not saying that justifies my actions. As a husband, if I can't come to an agreement with my wife, am I to concede? Just as a side note I do concede on almost everything besides what's for dinner, and that's because I do the cooking. But if I know the Bible says one thing, is it not unwise to not allow my children to be taught another?
     
  19. Johnv

    Johnv
    Expand Collapse
    New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 24, 2001
    Messages:
    21,321
    Likes Received:
    0
    The manner in which you ask the question makes me wonder what you mean by "coming to agreement". It half-sounds like you mean "if I can't get my wife to see it my way". The idea of conceding makes it sould like it's a battle of who gets his or her way. A scriptural marriage doesn't operate as though it's a battle between two people. I suspect there's much more going on in your marriage than is mentioned here, which needs to be worked on.

    The idea of not doing something intil there is agreement isn't a process of one or the other conceding. Here's a very simple example: If you want to move the family to another city, and she does not, then you to not, until you both agree. Likewise, if she wants to move the family to another city, and you do not, then you to not, until you both agree. That's overly simplistic, but it makes the point.
     
    #19 Johnv, Oct 12, 2009
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 12, 2009
  20. JMSR

    JMSR
    Expand Collapse
    New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 8, 2009
    Messages:
    212
    Likes Received:
    0
    Not entirely. What if I HAD to move, and she wanted to move to Atlanta, and I to Houston, where would we go? And I really don't think that the moving scenario really relates as well as if say, we were differing over any two Trinitarian churches. I think this is a bigger deal than that.
     
    #20 JMSR, Oct 12, 2009
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 12, 2009

Share This Page

Loading...