Love, Honour, Cherish and OBEY

Discussion in 'General Baptist Discussions' started by Dr. Bob, Dec 11, 2005.

  1. Dr. Bob

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    How many of you said (or wife said) these words in your wedding voews?

    If a hard decision has to be made (99.9% of decisions we've made in 35+ years of marriage have been mutual) then who is to "obey" and who is to lead?

    My wife said "obey" in her vows; I did not. But know that about 1/2 of modern ceremonies do NOT use "obey" in them.

    Sadly. Women's lib has done the body of Christ no favor . .
     
  2. dianetavegia

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    I said 'obey'. My husband did not, nor should he have!

    We just had a discussion at lunch about submission. It's always worked well in our home, for both of us. [​IMG]

    Diane
     
  3. jw

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    My wife said "obey". We always talk things over and try to come to a shared view point/deceision, but if we cannot she has always been willing to follow me.

    Of course, we've only been married for a year and a half [​IMG] But it's been the best year and a half of my life [​IMG]
     
  4. Johnv

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    My ex-wife said obey. My current wife did not. The word itself obviously made no difference.

    The issue is not about feminism or submission, it's about a person's heart.
     
  5. Dr. Bob

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    Amen. It is the heart issue.

    And I would NEVER give my heart to a woman who would NOT say such. Not the words, but the attitude of the heart.
     
  6. Helen

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    I requested the 'obey' be put 'back' in our marriage vows. Problem is, Barry doesn't ask for much!
     
  7. SaggyWoman

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    I think everyone should obey.
     
  8. Johnv

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    That's why the two most important words a husband should learn are "yes dear".

    [​IMG]

    Seriously though, imo, the hubby who cannot submit to his spouse is incapable of headship. Conversely, the wife who cannot love her spouse is incapable of submitting to him.
     
  9. I Am Blessed 24

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    I am to obey, but both my spouse and I are to submit to each other.

    And, yes, the word, "obey" was in our marriage vows.

    If a husband loves his wife like Christ loves the church, she will have no problem submitting.

    OTOH, if she is submissive, the husband should have no trouble loving his wife (as he is commanded to do in the Bible).
     
  10. gb93433

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    We wrote our own vows. They are more powerful than the typical anyway. They expounded on the idea of leadership and submission.
     
  11. gb93433

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    Typically that is true. Even though God loves us beyond what any spouse could, we at times still have trouble submitting to Him.
     
  12. donnA

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    We don't think it was in ours. Ours were not very long, the whole thing took less then 2 minutes. Basically ours was the do you takes and the I dos. But I don't think it matters if it was in the wording or not, as a wife I am still to obey my husband.
     
  13. Frogman

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    Kelly said obey, I did not.

    I have a distinct believe that her obedience to me is not were I to be out from under a sincere submission to Christ.

    I have worked with people who lived with 'partners' and later were married but not submitting to Christ. While their wife would make an attempt to serve the Lord.

    These men always argued with me that their wives should submit to their 'headship' and obey them.

    I always did and still do disagree. Where a man is not following Christ the wife is not bound to 'obey' him.

    Of course it is always best for both to submit to the headship of Christ; in this way only can they possess a true marriage of mutual love, honor, and obedience, submitting themselves to one another wholly, as if to the Lord.

    Bro. Dallas

    BTW, any marriage ceremony I have ever performed always includes scriptural passages from Ephesians that show that principle first, and of course the traditional vows.

    Even if the husband and wife to be write their own vows, my stipulation is that I include the Biblical standard, or they are welcome to seek the service from another.
     
  14. Hope of Glory

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    Also, it does not say, "Make your wives submit to you".

    BTW, I agree about the vows. If someone wants to write their own, and they're biblical, then it's fine (although I may add a bit). However, some people want to put in a bunch of New Age mumbo jumbo. (I've never had it happen to me, but a dear friend of mine refused to marry someone once and this was one of the complaints; so, she went to the local Methodist church where the guy claims he'll marry anyone, "because God wants 'em married".)
     
  15. TaterTot

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    we didnt do the traditional "repeat after me" vows, so no, I did not say that. But the concept was there. Not that I will obey his every command, (and he doesnt command) but that I will honor him in all ways. And he does me too. Its that mutual submission thing.
     
  16. menageriekeeper

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    LOL! Ya'll can remember whether one specific word was in your ceremony?

    Haha! I have absolutely no idea. I'd have go hunt down the video and watch it to find out! [​IMG]

    Now as for obedience and submission, we do just fine so long as he doesn't use one little word, no! No means he is intentionally pushing my buttons and will get him the exact opposite of what he wants. He understands this and as the loving husband he is, if there is something we don't agree on he uses better terminology. I am his wife not his child. As the submissive wife I am(T is laughing all the way from B'ham) I generally follow his lead when he puts in an opinion. I am only human.

    All that said, there are a good many happenings around this house that he has no chance to put in an opinion on. He works an hour away from home and is gone at least 12 hours a day. He expects me to be able to make wise decisions for him and I do my best. This is reality for us and pretty much always has been.
     
  17. ccrobinson

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    My wife did not say the word, but it was due to the minister messing up the ceremony. Here's how our ceremony went.

    Gorgeous bride comes down the aisle.
    Father gives gorgeous bride away.
    Minister gives his marriage message.
    Exchange rings with gorgeous bride.
    Unity candle.
    Kiss gorgeous bride.


    Did anybody catch what was missing?

    I didn't realize it until our 2nd anniversary sometime after watching the video. I've never said anything to her and I don't think my gorgeous bride realizes even now.

    We didn't do the "I do" part of the ceremony. The minister must have just forgotten it because I've attended other weddings he officiated, and that part was in those weddings.

    So, she didn't say "obey", but it had nothing to do with her attitude. We have little trouble submitting to one another as needed. I can't think of one hard decision we've had to make that wasn't a mutual decision.
     
  18. Songbird

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    I promised to follow him in all of life's experiences. The scriptures re wife submitting to husband and husband loving the wife were in our ceremony as well. I'm sure my women's lib boss cringed at the word submission. lol

    I heard a good defintion of submission

    Sub --meaning under
    mission-meaning a plan, a path

    So, the Lord has plans for my husband and me. I am "under" the covering of my husband as we follow God's leading.

    And in the 3.5 years of marriage, dh has also learned the two magic words, "yes, dear." As long as he remembers those words, the honeymoon will never be over! lololol
     
  19. Alcott

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    We had a discussion about 'submitting' in Bible class a few weeks ago, and the teacher asked, "What does the word 'submit' mean?" There were several answers-- obey, be supportive, heed-- but I answered "send below." The teacher just repeated "Send below?" I said sub means below (Lat.) and mit means send (fr. Lat. mitto, "I send"). That was the least popular answer. I just thought I would see if it's the most unpopular here, too.
     
  20. Hope of Glory

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    from Latin submittere, to set under : sub-, sub- + mittere, to cause to go
     

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