Madien Names

Discussion in '2005 Archive' started by Dragoon68, Mar 14, 2005.

  1. Dragoon68

    Dragoon68
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    Just for the record and since I missed the discussion on this subject, in some countries, the custom is that women keep their maiden names for life and children carry the name of the father. It doesn't make the couples any less married nor any less in compliance with the order or marriage defined in the Holy Bible. In fact, in the case I'm most familiar with, the family structure and order is rather strongly upheld compared to cultures that do change the names. It sure makes it a lot easier for the women to keep their personal history in order.

    Consider also, that older times people didn't have the same naming conventions we have today even in Europe from whence the majority of American ancestors came. People were known by their common name and, perhaps, some identity associated with what they did or from where they lived.

    I'm okay with the way it's been traditionally handled in America in modern times but, personally, I like the system of people keeping their original names for life.

    Patrick
     
  2. Debby in Philly

    Debby in Philly
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    It's all specific to culture. It's what is in the heart, attitude, and behavior that counts. My choice was to change my last name to comply with convention. But it really shouldn't matter, and I do not think any less of those women who don't.

    BTW, for a very long time in America and English-speaking countries, it was the custom to always refer to a married woman by her husband's given name as well - "Mrs. John Smith" - even when her husband was not being spoken of, or they were not being referred to as a couple.

    This, IMHO, is taking the renaming thing a little too far. I once belonged to a church women's organization that in a printed program or newsletter, referred to every married woman in this manner, even when the only ones in attendence were other women! Well, we don't call each other John or Sam, so why should they have done that? While associated with them, I refused to tell them my husband's first name, just so they had no choice but to use my given name.

    I would say I was more than happy to change my surname, so that we were appearing as one family, but I didn't change who I was when I married, and my given name is who I am!

    I have heard of one couple who went to a hyphenated last name with the woman's first, and the husband changed his name too, even though it was his wife's surname that came first in the hyphenated pair.
     
  3. Thankful

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    I use Mrs. Ed Edwards when I want people to know who my husband is. This has been the custom of my generation. We gradually changed to our first name for signing legal documents and for the most part we use our given names.

    My mother always used my dad's name.
     
  4. dianetavegia

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    Jim had to fill out some forms for me at the Army base when we'd been married only days (right after the Ice Age). He listed me as Diane Elizabeth Tavegia instead of Mrs. James Tavegia. For formal affairs, the Army had badges made up that said Mrs. Tavegia but I've always signed Diane E. Tavegia on important forms.

    At Jim's highschool reunion, I put 'Jim's Wife' on my badge and everyone got such a charge out of it that I probably met more people than any other spouse. [​IMG] Of couse, he told them I was too old to be barefoot and pregnant so he got me a pair of shoes and brought me along. LOLOL

    Can you tell we're a couple of cut ups?
     
  5. Trotter

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    My wife took my name when we wed, so she is Mrs. Trotter.

    We talked about it while we were engaged, about whether she would take my name or keep hers, since her father was the last of his line and she was an only child and all. She told me that she would be proud to have my name, and that if we were to be one flesh, we should have one name.

    Is there any question as to why I love this woman???

    In Christ,
    Trotter
     
  6. dianetavegia

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    She sure sounds like a keeper, Trotter!

    My husband was the 'last' Tavegia in his family but we have the 3 boys. One son and his wife have a little boy and don't plan on more kids but we've still got the other 2 boys to build up our numbers. ;)
     
  7. Baptist in Richmond

    Baptist in Richmond
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    I can't say that I disagree with this. My wife took my last name, and I was pleased with this. But I would not have been upset had she kept her name. As a matter of fact, it would not have bothered me in the least.

    Hope you are doing well,

    BiR
     
  8. Bro. James Reed

    Bro. James Reed
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    My two cousins are the last of the male Listvan line.

    They are Czech.

    I don't think that the Reed line will have to depend on me to remain afloat, although out of my g-grandparents Reed, my brother and I are the last 2 boys of child-making age.

    At the last Reed family reunion, in De Kalb, TX, our of about 100 people there, my brother, my dad, my Uncle, and myself were the only real "Reed"s there.

    Next year, my nephew will be added to the list of male Reed's.
     
  9. Dr. Bob

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    In 1500, less than 1% of all people in the world had a surname. They lived in small in-bred hamlets or villages, seldom traveled 10 miles from their home in their entire life, so knowing someone by their name or nickname was good enough.

    Surnames, middle names, then retaining maiden names is of very modern invention!

    BTW, my wife nee Teresa Irene Bohren. When we married she used "Bohren" as a middle name. She is known here as Teresa Bohren Griffin, letting folks know her famial connection.
     
  10. Craigbythesea

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    I believe that this is a personal matter for each couple to work out for themselves. There are obvious advantages to both alternatives, the woman keeping her maiden name or assuming her husband’s name. In the case of women who are well known scientists, college professors, musicians, etc., I believe that it make much better sense for the woman to keep her maiden name, but it certainly is not any of my business. The important thing is that both the man and woman pattern their lives after the teachings in the New Testament.

    [​IMG]
     
  11. donnA

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    Keeping or changing maiden names is nothing more then cultural. It all depends on what culture you live in and what that culture distates. If you lived in a culture which did not change names, it would seem foreign and wrong for you to do it, you would rebel against the idea, simply becasue God doesn't tell us to do it, if He did no matter which culture you lived in you would probably agree with the pratice, even though those around you were not doing it.
     
  12. WallyGator

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    Ditto, Dr. Bob!
    I still feel negative about hyphenated last names for married women; just culteral conditioning, I guess.
     
  13. daktim

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    That's the way my wife and I felt, too. One flesh, one name. And as an added benefit for my wife, once people find out her last name and realize she's married to me, they're more apt to pray for her! [​IMG]

    daktim
     
  14. untangled

    untangled
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    Thankful,

    I didn't know you were Ed's wife! [​IMG] I knew Diane and Jim are married. Well, I might as well get my wife on here. [​IMG]

    In Christ,

    Brooks
     
  15. untangled

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    My wife and I felt the same. One flesh, one family and one name for us too.

    In Christ,

    Brooks
     
  16. El_Guero

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    Wally

    I guess it is kinda cultural here ... I know that I feel that I shouldn't be bothered either way, but it just don't sound right ...
     
  17. El_Guero

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    Wally

    What makes that really strange is that "Mexican" does keep the mother's name (not in the same way, but similar).

    It just never has felt right for Anglos.
     

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