Marriage according to Scripture

MARRIAGE

"The act of uniting a man and woman for life; wedlock; the legal union of a man and woman for life. Marriage is a contract both civil and religious, by which the parties engage to live together in mutual affection and fidelity, till death shall separate them. Marriage was instituted by God himself for the purpose of preventing the promiscuous intercourse of the sexes, for promoting domestic felicity, and for securing the maintenance and education of children" (Webster).

Malachi explains that marriage is more than the sexual union; it is a covenant before God and man (Mal 2:14), and it is this covenant that God blesses by making the two one (Mal 2:15).

Marriage was the first institution ordained by God after the creation of man (Ge 2:18-25), and it is the bedrock of the human society. Anything which corrupts marriage and the home is a direct threat to society as a whole. This is one reason why sexual immorality and homosexuality are great crimes which were punishable by death under the Mosaic law (Le 20:1-27).

From Genesis we see that marriage is the uniting of one man and one woman before God for the purpose of creating a new family unit (Ge 2:22-24). The marriage union is holy and the sexual relationship within this union is holy (Heb 13:4). One of the proper and God-ordained purposes of marriage is the satisfaction of the sexual drive (1Co 7:2-5).

IS FORNICATION MARRIAGE? - Some have taught that the sexual union between men and women equates marriage, but this is not the case. The married man and woman become one spiritually and physically by an act of God, not by an a mere act of sexual intimacy (Mt 19:5-6). The oneness between Adam and Eve was created when God brought them together as man and wife even before they knew each other intimately (Ge 2:22-23).

Immoral sexual relations do produce a unity between the partners (1Co 6:15-18), but the Bible nowhere says this equates marriage. When a married man and woman commit adultery or when a single man and woman commit fornication, they are joined together in their sin, but they are not thereby married. If this were the case, the fornicators would not need to be married; they would already be married to their partners through the sexual relationship. This is not the case, though. According to the Mosaic law, if a man enticed an unmarried girl and had relations with her, he was obligated to marry her unless her father refused to allow that (Ex 22:16-17). The law did not say the two were already married because of their sexual union. The fact that the girl's father could refuse to allow his daughter to be the man's wife is proof that they were not already wed.

The New Testament teaches the same thing. In 1Co 5:1, for example, we see the case of the church member who committed the sin of fornication with his father's wife. The Bible says the woman was the wife of the sinner's father, but it does not say that the woman was also the sinner's wife because of the sexual relationship. In 1Co 7:2, fornication is contrasted with marriage; it is not equated with marriage. Christ's dealings with the woman at the well in John chapter four also teaches that fornication is not marriage. The woman was living with a man, but the Lord Jesus Christ plainly stated that he was not her husband (Joh 4:18).

Fornication is a union but it is not marriage. As noted earlier, Malachi explains that marriage is more than the sexual union; it is a covenant before God and man (Mal 2:14), and it is this covenant that God blesses by making the two one (Mal 2:15).

Way of Life Encyclopedia

 

What SFIC said. :wavey:

 

Well said SFIC. :applause:

 

SFIC,

Very well said. :thumbsup:

I would be very interested to hear what that encylopedia of yours has to say about the biblical rules for re-marriage.

 

Ge 2:24Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

This verse appears to make marriage real easy. Leave and cleave!

I believe that God has left it to man to decide just how marriages should be made. Personally, I think Christians ought to have their marriages sealed by a preacher. But that is just my own personal thing. Can't think of any scripture to back it up.

Since we live in America, and the law here requires certain other things in addition to a lawfully appointed facilitator that performs the ceremony, I also believe we should do those things require, IF we want our marriage to be recognized by the government.

God doesn't need man's trappings to recognize a marriage.

 

I don't quite agree, MK. I do agree that we should obey the laws of the land, and I do not think someone is really married in God's eyes if they don't. I agree that God doesn't need trappings. We need some of them, though, and He has ordained structures to help accomplish that.

I believe that marriage is a civil affair as well as theological. And that God intended it that way. Our society, based on Judaeo-Christian values, does protect the family and therefore children.
There are all sorts of things involved in marriage that the civil government can and does properly regulate. Such as all sorts of property, inheritance, and guardianship of minor children issues. Such as that the two people (one male and one female) are old enough and are not acting under coercion.

I know you do not mean it this way, but there is a growing "Christian" subculture out there, fueled by the internet, that says things like polygamy is just fine and that the state has no business regulating it.

In a lot of these discussions, we make it sound like there are only two people involved and that what they do does not affect society. Or that they will never need help. Such as Social Security benefits if the wage earner dies.

 

The bible says that God is the one who sets up governments, He is in control of that, whether we like it or not, and in our country the government has said we need a marriage license to be considered legally married. As christians we are to obey that since the bible does not condemn it and say otherwise.

 

So civil unions ok or not?

 

Although God doesn't need man's trappings to recognize a marriage --- I believe that Scripture is clear that when it comes to marriage and recognizing the legality of it --- God refuses to work outside of those "trappings" ---- just a glance at the last few chpts of Romans and the command to obey civil magistrates and the laws set forth by them.

Man has created certain laws that recognize legal marriage --- and although God is not bound by those laws He(God) expects US to be --- so therefore, when a couple decides to "join in union" and does not follow the legality set forth --- they move into the realm of disobedience to the complete word of Scripture.

 

In Canada, as well as the UK, one can circumvent the civil union by the publication of banns for three successive Sundays at a regular church service. The minister can then perform the ceremony uniting the couple in marriage...a total church connection. The legal documents are then filed by the minister. There is no fee involved. This is what I promoted all my life as a minister.

This is also why, as evangelical ministers, we petitioned our government to put it in writing that we would not be forced to perform any wedding not of our choosing, ie: gay marriages.

In Canada, our license to perform weddings comes from the government, in essence, making us civil servants. In Quebec, we were paid by the government for every wedding, funeral and baptism and even paid for just filing a form each month.

Whilst certain principles are detailed in scripture, there is not one example of a formal service of marriage.

Cheers,

Jim

 

Let me clarify what I mean by God left it to man to decide what constitutes marriage(except for the total contradiction of a homosexual union).

I do not mean that God simply left it to the individual to determine. I believe however that God did leave to the various cultures down through history to determine for themselves what constitutes marriage. Even if you look through the various culture present in our world today, you are going to find different ceremonies, different requirement and even different definitions of what constitutes a marriage.

Just take a look at the differences in marriage law between us Americans and Jim's Canada.

 

Without question marriage is God-given. Without it The Word would never have been born. That little Jewish girl would have never been, if sex had not been blessed by God to make two of us one.

Fight as we might against what God deems marriage; His Word is before us explaining without shame what constitutes a marriage.

Genesis 1:27-28, " So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.
28. And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth."

Marriage is between a man and a woman, and unless they become one in mating, they are not seen as married in the eyes of God. If they marry (the head and the body) in this act of marriage becoming one, they are then in the position to be "fruitful and multiply".

If all they have is a "paper" to say they are married they are married in the eyes of the world, and in the legal system this serves for protection of (and against) each other, and their adopted children (if any), tax purposes, etc. If in a "paper" marriage only, and the "marriage" is not consummated, there is no way God can recognize the two separate people as one for they circumvent his directive to be fruitful and multiply, and replenish the earth.

If we fail to take God at His Word then we can all with a "clear conscious" vote "Yes and Amen" when we go to the ballot box to OK the marriage of "man to man", and "woman to woman". This may look to be "backward thinking" to most, but is it? If we believe sex has nothing to do with marriage, how can we honestly deny the Homosexual the same privilege of a "marriage license"? Whatever your argument it will have to include someone having some kind of sex with someone else.

It was so in the beginning, and it has never changed that the "sex act" between a man and woman produces a marriage. If we don't believe God in the beginning, then we won't believe Him as He speaks through our Apostle Paul in this dispensation we live in. I Corinthians 6:15-17, "Know ye not that your bodies are the members of Christ? shall I then take the members of Christ, and make them the members of an harlot? God forbid.
16. What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh.
17. But he that is joined unto the Lord is one spirit."

If physical sex had not brought about Mary, then how could we enter into the spiritual realm being made one with the "bridegroom"? We are in the "bridegroom NOW", awaiting the marriage of God to His Bride.

 

Eph: 5
"22": Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

"23": For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

"24": Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

"25": Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

"26": That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,

"27": That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.

"28": So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.

"29": For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:

"30": For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.

"31": For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.

"32": This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.


This scripture alone tells us how much heaven is involved in a marriage. It is not just words but a vow and it is not just on record at the local court house, but in Heaven, for twain becomes as one flesh and men can't do that of themselves.

 

All these scriptures are the ideals and conditions of a scriptural marriage. There is still NO ceremony shown in scripture. There is no direction as to who marries whom to make it legal either in the sight of God or in the sight of men. That is left to civil ceremony whether state or church....that, I thought, was the original question.

Cheers,

Jim

 

Mat 22:3And sent forth his servants to call them that were bidden to the wedding: and they would not come.

So, we are looking for some kind Ceremony of which you say there were none.
1. It was to take place at a specific place that had been announced of which we follow today.

Mat 22:4Again, he sent forth other servants, saying, Tell them which are bidden, Behold, I have prepared my dinner: my oxen and [my] fatlings [are] killed, and all things [are] ready: come unto the marriage.

1. Again, they were guests that were bidden to the marriage and there was to be a feast of celebration also, of which we have today.

Mat 22:11And when the king came in to see the guests, he saw there a man which had not on a wedding garment:

1. Here we see there was a special garment for them to wear at this marriage of which we also do today.

Mat 22:30For in the resurrection they neither marry, nor are given in marriage, but are as the angels of God in heaven.

1. Some kind of binding took place at these marriages for in Heaven it will not be so.

Mat 24:38For as in the days that were before the flood they were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, until the day that Noe entered into the ark

1. Here we have the "giving" in the marriage of which we practice today also, the father giving away the bride which could be considered as a type of ceremony all the way back to the time of Noah.

,Luk 20:34And Jesus answering said unto them, The children of this world marry, and are given in marriage:

1. Again, the giving in the marriage.

There was a time a man's word (woman too) was as binding as any legal document. As a matter of fact it is still as binding today but its much harder to prove, so we have the written documents and we today have the Notary Public, of which I am one, to be sworned before and verified that it took place. Again, I am a man that believes his word is his bond, but unfortunantly it is not that way with all, so we have other means of verification for a record on this earth.

The "marrying" and "giving in marriage" I take to be the unwritten document of verification of a wedding between a man and a woman. It was like they were large cities as we have today, most people in the area knew when a marriage took place and between who.

Thats the best I can give using scripture to support a type of ceremony.:thumbs:

 

You know I had a thought, if we didn't need a legal marriage with a marriage license then gay unions would be fine, we couldn't complain.
I am in full agreement with you blackbird

 

Thanks for showing more confirming scripture we are now in the Body of Christ. Today we are of the "Body Church", and not of that "Kingdom Church".