Marriage

Discussion in '2000-02 Archive' started by AdoptedDaughter, Dec 7, 2001.

  1. AdoptedDaughter

    AdoptedDaughter
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    How do you know that he's the "right one" and should the wife ever hair more finanically responsibility than the husband?

    Just wondering.

    In Christ's gracious love,
    Teresa
     
  2. donnA

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    I guess I don't really know how anyone else knew he was the right one. But I knew I had an intense love for him, I couldn't stand to be away from him, and thought about him all the time. I couldn't wait to be around him. I was thrilled just being near him. I knew I loved him more then any other person, and just wanted to be with him.
    We weren't christians then, so someone else who was a christian when they married might have something really good to tell you.
     
  3. Joy

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    I would say if your not sure, then he's not.

    I used to think it was cliche when folks would say, "You just know," until it happened to me. It's not something that is really expainable. I wasn't even in love wiht him at the very moment I knew he was the right man. It was shortly after we met.

    I guess I was comfortable with his godly character, and with the way he treated me right from the start. I also saw how he interacted with family, friends, children, and even strangers. From all of these observations. I could conclude that he was the kind of man I wanted for a husband, and for a father to my children. There was also a an obvious desire within him to serve the Lord and strive always to do what was right.
     
  4. SaggyWoman

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    Oh, dear Jesus. I think I am in trouble now.

    :eek: :cool: :D :eek:

    [ December 07, 2001: Message edited by: SaggyWoman ]
     
  5. Brother Adam

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    I can't say much why, but i'm interested in what other people think here also...oh no...

    ...i'm in the woman's forum... :eek:...

    ...runs and ducks under the nearest rock... :D

    UNP
    Adam
     
  6. Helen

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    <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by baptistforever:
    How do you know that he's the "right one" and should the wife ever hair more finanically responsibility than the husband?

    Just wondering.

    In Christ's gracious love,
    Teresa
    <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>


    Welllll, Teresa, let me see.

    He should love you, be willing to discuss things, certainly be a Christian, and, of course ideally, be a moderator on a Baptist forum! That's a pretty rare combination, though -- so he may be hard to find...


    :D :D :D :D

    about the financial part -- many wives bear ('hair' is a combination of 'have' and 'bear', right??? Or were you otherwise distracted?) the greater financial responsibility if they are putting their husbands through school. There are other times, too, when the wife is simply capable of bringing in more money. One of my sons is brain-damaged (not retarded, which is different). He is 25 now and has a wonderful wife and three darlin' children (all of whom are quite normal). In his case, he works as a handiman when he can and she brings home most of the income. But they are really in love and happy and which of us would tell them what they are doing is wrong?

    I think God has a special plan for everyone, and I am sure you and yours will find His plan for you. In the meantime, don't worry about it. Things have a way of sorting themselves out. It will all be clear at the right time. Our Lord is not the author of confusion!

    Blessings.

    Helen
     
  7. SaggyWoman

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    There will be times of financial give and take... I think that is the good of marriage.
     
  8. Joy

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    Theresa, It's no secret that I'm not a fan of ladies working a career outside of their home, but I'm not against helping financially a little.

    The first and most important thing for a good wife to learn is how to be thrifty and save money.

    There are also a lot of skills a woman can learn which can be useful to other people, and help her to earn a little extra. I call these marketable skills. They are great for wives and mothers who are in their homes, because rarely do they have to leave their children to do them. These would include things like teaching or tutoring in your home- things like piano or other kinds of music lessons, cake decorating, hair cutting, dog grooming, math tutoring, making and selling crafts of some kind, mending and sewing...the list could go on and on!

    God still gave the primary responsibility of providing for the family to man, though. It is a much happier family that follows God's design.
     
  9. PreacherDave

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    Hi again ladies, it's Tami here...
    Amen, Joy! I think you took the words out of my mouth, both times!
    While I was not a strongly founded Christian when I met my (then) to-be husband, I was attracted to him because he so intensely wanted to serve the Lord.
    Our relationship was a very good friendship--we'd go to the nursing home together (funny, after 25 years of knowing him, we are once more doing that!) and sing & minister to the people there, we'd go witnessing together, go to prayer meetings together...
    We loved to sit & talk about the Lord. We weren't eager to heap material things, nor were we interested in all kinds of amusements. (Don't get me wrong...we enjoy board games & an occasional movie. I just mean expensive amusements!) Our greatest times together were when we were outdoors in God's creation, enjoying His handiwork & His presence, together.
    I'd never met a man who so treated me like a lady (most of the others were "octupus", if you know what I mean). I'd never met a man so interested in serving the Lord. And he loved kids!! I remember watching him with friends' children & thinking "this man would be a wonderful father to my children."
    And tho' we've both had to grow, he is still about the most godly man I know, he still treats me like a lady, and yes, he is a marvelous father to our children!!
    (I met him July 1976; married in April '79 ...you do the math!)
    Praising God, who is the Best MatchMaker!!
    Tami
     
  10. donnA

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    Helen
    <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>He should love you, be willing to discuss things, certainly be a Christian, and, of course ideally, be a moderator on a Baptist forum! That's a pretty rare combination, though -- so he may be hard to find... <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>


    I'll second that one. I think it's the best way to go, but again, might be hard... anyone out there fit that description.
     
  11. SaggyWoman

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    :rolleyes: :D I don't know if I can deal with it.. ..
     
  12. Margie Kritzer

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    Comon, spill it, Saggy! We know you have something to share with us! You're among friends!

    As for the question posted, you can trust your own gut feelings, something none of us can help you with. You know your feelings and situation better than any of us.

    As for the money issue, my husband helped me find this passage:

    Matthew 22
    19
    Shew me the tribute money. And they brought unto him a penny.
    20
    And he saith unto them, Whose is this image and superscription?
    21
    They say unto him, Caesar's. Then saith he unto them, Render therefore unto Caesar the things which are Caesar's; and unto God the things that are God's.

    Christ clearly separates money from Christianity.

    Does the man make you happy? Does he care about what makes you happy? Does he listen to you and try to make your life better? Love itself is a journey of faith, and if you can share your deepest thoughts with this person, you can hope to grow together as one.
     
  13. Brother Adam

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    ***Adam sneaks into the womans forum again*** :D

    The more I think about marriage and finding the person I will spend the rest of my life together, the more I believe there is no quick way to find out. I believe that God will tell through time.

    I believe this is especially true in the relationship I am in right now. As time goes on we learn more about each other, about our goals, who we are, and how we act around others. We learn more about if we should be together. I'm noticing as our courtship is continuing (sp?) and isn't so new anymore, we are refining things (as in finding more productive things to do with our time), and in general talking more about the serious stuff... sooo...i don't know what else to say..that's my two cents (and hey Katie- I think I fit that discription :D [​IMG] :eek: ;) )

    UNP,
    Adam

    [ December 09, 2001: Message edited by: flyfree432 ]
     
  14. Grace

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    Ok-I know I'm currently single, but I'll make an announcement. I think that I may have found "him". We've been best friends for 7 1/2 years. I argued with God telling Him that he could not be God's plan for me because "my guy" would be certain things that I didn't see in Adam (NOT our very own flyfree). Well, God reminded me that he did in fact have these qualities, and that I love him [​IMG] So Teresa, God just reminded me that I love him--and then I "knew". I'm forever thankful that we have had the chance to know and "grow in love" with each other withoutthe pressure of dating. I can honestly say, he has seen me at my current worst, and he loves me anyway. I'll let y'all know if anything happens...
    BTW, I'm just quietly waiting and letting God hold my heart until He is ready to give it to Adam. (once again, just in case anyone is confrused, it is not flyfree) (no offense, just your name is also Adam)
     
  15. Brother Adam

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    LoL Grace, I think that Teresa might get upset if you were talking about me, and we don't want any cat fights on the BB ;) :D :eek:

    That is great to hear that you have such a great relationship with this other Adam (isn't that such a great name? [​IMG] ). I hope that you two will be blessed in your relationship in the Lord if you get married.

    UNP
    Adam
     
  16. AdoptedDaughter

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    Helen: Katie,

    Are you two trying to hint at something?

    Anyhoots! I have always thought that you would "just know" but the hard thing is knowing that you "know".
    Know what I mean?

    About a year ago I never dreamed that Adam and I would be in a courtship because of all the differences that we had.

    he was shy, I was outgoing.... God has a way of just completely proving you wrong, doesnt he?

    Anyways, I just want to let you all know how much I appreciate all of your replies.

    In Christ's gracious love,
    Teresa
     
  17. Helen

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    Teresa,

    If you two were both alike, one of you would be unnecessary, eh?

    The best marriages I know are between people who are very dissimilar in many ways -- they fill in for each other's weak points.

    It's kind of a nice arrangement.

    But, having seen you two here on the forum, I do know that both of you are going to follow the Lord, so whether or not you end up together, I know you will find God's best in your life.

    In the meantime, teasing is so much fun!

    God bless you.

    Helen
     
  18. donnA

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    I think in a good marriage, the two are different. That way they complement each other. Where you are strong he is weak, where he is strong you are weak. Thats the way two become one. Neither complete and whole without the other.
    I know with us, my husband doesn't know anything about our money, has no desire to know, and I'm the one who keeps up with everything. I'm not mechanicle, and he is. He easily talks to people, especially strangers,I just can't. (hard to believe I'm ever speechless isn't it.)Together it works. I find a lot of little things where he is strong, and I'm not, and then where I am strong and he isn't.
     
  19. Joy

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    "Opposites attract!"
     
  20. AdoptedDaughter

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    That is so true!

    I'm just very fortunate that we did end up courting after I broke up with him twice.

    ****** mistakes, but the mistakes have made us stronger.

    <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>In the meantime, teasing is so much fun! <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    Yeah! for you!

    I know that you are and I think that it is hilarious!

    My friend, Leslie, has me and one of my two best friends married. Leslie told me on our Senior trip that my friend, Chris, and I were going to get married and have kids!

    I think that she will be disappointed. Everyone at my school had Chris and I dating. Friendships are great aren't they?
    Especially when you're told that you're dating your best friend. That was news to my ears!

    Here's a question:

    Is it wrong to talk to someone of the opposite sex about your boyfriend. In my case, would it be wrong for me to talk to Chris about Adam?

    In Christ's gracious love,
    Teresa
     

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