Married in our hearts ( A question)

Discussion in 'General Baptist Discussions' started by Bibleman2k6, Jan 21, 2006.

  1. Bibleman2k6

    Bibleman2k6
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    Ok I have a question . I have been dating someone for 11 months and we are unable to be together due to her going to school and finances and so on . She contends thats its possible to be married in our hearts and that as long as we dont do anything physical its ok . She said that Adam and Eve were married but they only had God . Is it possible for a person to be married without walking down the aisle and still be blessed as a christian ? Help please
     
  2. Helen

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    Bibleman, marriage is marriage. There is nothing 'half-way'. However if being married 'in your hearts' is engagement, then great!

    But there is a lot of life ahead of you. You can stay faithful to each other, refrain from physical temptations, and then get married properly at the right time, in accordance with the laws of the land and with the true witness of yourselves as Christians.

    God bless you both.
     
  3. Scarlett O.

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    No, you don't have to walk down an aisle....you can go to a justice-of-the-peace in a courthouse.

    We, as Christians, are to obey civil laws as well as moral laws.

    The civil law of the land says that to be married, you have to have a marriage license and witnesses to a civil and/or a religious union.

    According to our civil laws in America, someone in authority, having power under the law to do so, beit a judge or a preacher, has to pronounce or ordain you as married.

    Otherwise, you are not married under the law or in the eyes of the church.

    There are "common-law" marriages that are recognized by some courts, but that is just another term for "shacking up".

    I know what that must feel like to say, "Well, we don't need a piece of paper to declare our love for each and our union as a married couple..."

    You don't need civil or moral authority to declare your love for each other, but to declare yourselves as married...yes, you do.

    Seek God in earnest on this issue. Don't take each other's word for it. Don't let your sincere and precious feelings for each other after only 11 months to skew your understanding of holy marriage.

    Adam and Eve's "marriage" has absolutely nothing to do with your relationship with each other.

    Peace-
    Scarlett O.
    &lt;&gt;&lt;
     
  4. Artimaeus

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    "walking down the aisle" is just an expression for getting married. What you asking is, is it possible to BE married without GETTING married. The answer is, no.
     
  5. Hope of Glory

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    I think it is possible to not be married in the eyes of God and be married in the eyes of man, but not the other way around. I'm required by law to file paperwork when I marry a couple, and I'm required by law to make sure that you have the proper paperwork. (Now, my opinion about why the law requires this is that it's a way to control people and get money out of them, but that's beside the point.)
     
  6. brochip1

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    I deal with this issue in form or another on an almost weekly basis. The bottom line is this. If you begin to justify yourself as "married", then it will be only a matter of time before there is a physical follow-thru. To quote Helen, "Marriage is Marriage." You will save yourself much heartache and future marital struggles if you keep the relationship pure, and save intamacy (this includes emotional not just physical) for marriage.
     
  7. Hope of Glory

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    Thanks for finishing my thought that I failed to follow through on in my post.
     
  8. DeadMan

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    Don't let anyone "dumb-down" the institution of marriage for you. As Helen said, marriage is marriage. You can't be married without being married. It isn't a gushy feeling that will pass in time. (And believe me, the feelings come and go as the years roll on.) It is more than a commitment; It is a convanent between you, her & God. IMHO, she probably just wants to know where your relationship is going.
     
  9. Gregory Perry Sr.

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    OK folks...(and I'm married....legally and otherwise)here's a brain twister for all'a ya'll....WHAT(Biblically speaking)constitutes a "scriptural" marriage?Is it the "ceremony"(chapter and verse please)...OR....is it the consummation or "physical" union?Does the Bible condemn "common-law" marriage in the places in this world(and some states here in the USA)that it is considered valid and legal? I'm not trying to confuse anyone or get anybody upset....I'm only curious about what we all think and I also believe that this issue isn't as "cut and dried" as many would have us to believe.There are several places in the Book where folks went in and "layed" with one another and they were considered married in God and man's eyes....without the benefit or requirement of any "ceremony".Comments anybody?

    Greg Sr.
     
  10. DeeJay

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    At least where I live, to be in a common law marriage a couple has to cohabatate (live together) and share finances for some period of time before the state reconizes it as a legal marrage. That means you have to spend several years in an illegal cohabitation before it is considered legal.

    Also common law marriage is not given automaticly a couple, or half of couple where the other half has died, must request it.

    So, at least here, its only purpose is to collect life insurance from somebody you have lived with but not married and has died. It is a retro-active marriage.

    Seems it is more a leagal formality then a real marrige.
     
  11. standingfirminChrist

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    Gregory Perry Sr.,

    I do know that the state of South Carolina recognizes 'common law' marriages. I used to live in Beaufort, where my oldest brother was living with a woman for almost 12 years in a 'common law marriage'.

    I also know they recognize other forms of weddings; i.e. by a Justice of the Peace, a member of the clergy, and as I have witnessed one in the harbor at Lady's Island, a marriage by a ship's captain.

    While both 'common law', and ministerial marriages seem to be legal there, the Word of God teaches us that Jesus revealed the sin of 'shacking up' in the woman at the well.

    So biblically, I would say one should get married by one so ordained by the state to perform such duties.

    Ron
     
  12. DeeJay

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    Hope, please give me an example of someone married in the eyes of man but not in the eyes of God.

    If your talking about places the now reconize same sex marriage then I agree with you. But this is the only situation I can think of. Is that what you were talking about.
     
  13. Hope of Glory

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    A heterosexual couple who aren't believers in God who go to a JoP or ship's captain, have not made a commitment to God. But, they are maried in the eyes of man.
     
  14. Bible Believing Bill

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    Then what happens if one or both of them latter become a believer? What happens if one is a believer when married and one not?

    My wife was a believer when we married and I was not, we are now both Children of God.

    Are you saying that because at the time I married my wife I was not born again then we are not married in the eyes of God?

    Bill
     
  15. DeeJay

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    I think I have to disagre with that, but I am interested in your argument.

    Does this mean that a couple who were married by JoP before becoming believers can just walk away from there marriage because they were never really married.

    I think that all marriages are three way contracts between God, spouce and state. Even if the people who enter into that contract do not know God he is the one who created marraige and His rules still applie to it. In other words God created the covenent of marriage and all who enter into it enter into a covenent with Him, no matter if they know it or not.
     
  16. DeeJay

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    BBB, beat me to it. [​IMG]

    Gota be fast around here.
     
  17. gb93433

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    Lack of finances creates an incredible strain on a marriage. If you do not have the finanaces to be able to live together then you should not get married.

    What you describe as marriage in your hearts is not a legal binding marriage according to any state in the US that I am aware of.
     
  18. Bible Believing Bill

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    Gotta be quick to beat ole BBB. :D


    Bill [​IMG]
     
  19. Hope of Glory

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    Then, using this logic, homosexual marriage is a marriage in the eyes of God. If they make it legal to "marry" a horse, that would be binding in the eyes of God.

    You cannot enter into a contract with someone whom you do not know.

    If you're not a believer when you enter into a human contract and then you become a believer, then you are still legally bound to that person, until the contract is broken. However, it is at that point that you would make the covenant with God or not.

    For example, if you and your spouse are both practicing witches, and you accept Jesus as your savior. If you choose not to remain with your spouse, then you are not bound to God for that. However, if you make that commitment while a believer, you are bound by it.
     
  20. DeeJay

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    Nope, look at what I said right here;

    God created marraige his rules say that it is between a man and a woman. Goverments can call same sex "marriages" what they want. They are not marriages by definition of the One who created marraige. I dont think the Bible says marraige is limited to believers or that there are two types of marraige.
     

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