Men are from Mars...Women are from Venus??

Discussion in 'Clean Humor' started by Athanasian Creed, Jul 13, 2010.

  1. Athanasian Creed

    Athanasian Creed
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    Subject: FROM BARCLAYS BANK: TO OUR VALUED CUSTOMERS

    Barclays Bank is very pleased to inform you that we are installing new "Drive-thru" cash point machines where our customers will be able to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. To enable our customers to make full use of these new facilities, we have conducted intensive behavioural studies to come up with appropriate procedures for their use. Please read the procedures that apply to you and remember them for when you use our new machines for the first time.

    PROCEDURES FOR OUR MALE CUSTOMERS:

    1. Drive up to the cash machine.
    2. Wind down your car window.
    3. Insert card into and enter PIN.
    4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
    5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
    6. Wind up window.
    7. Drive off.

    PROCEDURES FOR OUR FEMALE CUSTOMERS:

    1. Drive up to cash machine.
    2. Reverse back the required amount to align car window with cash
    machine.
    3. Restart the stalled engine.
    4. Wind down the window.
    5. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate
    card.
    6. Turn the radio down.
    7. Attempt to insert card into machine.
    8. Open car door to allow easier access to cash machine due to its
    excessive distance from the car.
    9. Insert card.
    10. After "Invalid Card" is displayed - Remove the afore mentioned
    "Marks & Spencers" Charge card and insert correct "Cash Point" card.
    11. Remove "Cash Point" Card.
    12. Re-insert Cash Point card the right way up.
    13. Re-enter handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the
    inside back page.
    14. Enter PIN.
    15. Press "Cancel" and re-enter correct PIN.
    16. Enter amount of cash required.
    17. Check make-up in rear view mirror.
    18. Retrieve cash and receipt.
    19. Empty handbag again to locate purse and place cash inside.
    20. Place receipt in back of cheque book.
    21. Re-check make-up.
    22. Drive forward 2 meters.
    23. Reverse back to cash machine.
    24. Retrieve card.
    25. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the
    slot provided.
    26. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
    27. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
    28. Release handbrake.



    Ray :smilewinkgrin:
     

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