Modest apparel

Good reminder.

Can we refocus our conversation please.

Roger
C4K
Moderator

 

Thank you Roger. These posts are getting too graphic for an open forum and inappropriate for a Christian board...

If they continue, I would suggest moving it to the Private Women's Forum and possibly a copy to the Private Men's Forum.



§ue

 

I wholeheartedly apologize to anyone offended by what I said. I got a little carried away in defending myself against a perceived misunderstanding of my position.

Sorry!! Please forgive me!

Maybe I should stay away from the Fundie Forum for awhile.

 

Marcia,

If it is any comfort. I understand your point perfectly.

And to be honest I think the church needs some blunt talk on lust and how men and women process it. In fact our church will be doing a series on it this fall.

No need to spend some time in purgatory on this one!

 

Marcia,
I can't and won't speak for the women, but Satan is attacking the church today, and the leadership of the men in most cases is the target.

I know that our men's retreat at our church, which this year will be on campus at our church, so more can attend, and to keep the cost low, is going to focus on the very issue of purity. Satan has been trying to stop the great things that are happening in our church, and this is one area he seems to be using a little too effectively.

As for the women, dressing modestly is not much of a defense against a man who has a thought life problem and doesn't want to deal with it, but it is your Biblical responsibility, and it can help protect those who perhaps are struggling.

 

why why WHY do women, even unchristian women allow their daughters to dress so immodestly though?

Today, at a fair, I saw a girl, no older than 15 wearing a tight shirt that showed her midriff that said.."I know what boys want"..

and the skirts and shorts are ridiculous..

To me, it all seems like common sense,...


Last week, we were at a parade and a methodist church had a float where they had a praise band. The girl who was singing had such a short skirt on that she was not hiding much at all. I commented to my husband..."theres just something wrong with being that immodestly dressed and singing songs about Jesus"...


perhaps Im a Pharisee but I really do see the way women dress as a huge problem.

Also.. to add to the adult club topic, before I was saved, I had been to both men and women clubs, and what Marcia says is correct. The men had a seriousness to them, and it was absolutely disgusting, where the girls were most just trying to be crazy and bond.. it didnt seem to be about real, true, lust.. Sure, it was bad and disgusting both ways, but with men there was something deeper and sicker about the whole thing..

 

I agree...What ever happened to that saying.. Do as I do, not as I say........ why not just erase that and just teach what you preach. Be an example! I try to be as a leader in the teen group. Just keep serving!!

 

With my eldest daughter, it was difficult to overcome the "God doesn't look at the outside" mentality. Of course, me being a 'worldly' christian for most of her life only reinforced her thought processes. Thank God that my family came under the preaching of a hell-fire, leather-lunged IFB preacher in 2001. I know that she would not be at a Bible College right now if we hadn't.

God bless.

 

Im just glad that God hasnt given me any daughters thus far..

boys for me!

 

Brother Miller,

Thank you for the link.

 

We give our daughter an allowance. Out of that she gives to the church and other places she wants to. It is her money to do whatever she wants with it.

When she needs clothes her and my wife go shopping together. When my wife buys clothes she often takes our daughter.

Over the years we have pointed out to her things she needs to consider. She goes online and loks for what she wants before she goes to the store. She tries to decide on some clothes beforehand. When she comes home with some clothes I reinforce her choices by telling her she makes me proud to be her dad. I tell her how she makes wise decisions.

She makes better decisions than most adults I know.

We need to spend time reinforcing the wise decisions our children make and help them to see also that all of us make poor decisions at times and to learn from them. We talk openly about decisions we make and how we make choices. When we sold our home we talked about how much the realtor's commission was and how me made on the house. We talked about why we remodeled the house and how much that cost. We talked about our return on the money we spent to remodel the home. My daughter went to work with me each day when I was in business for myself. She did physical labor. Of course she didn't like it. What teenager does? At first she complained a lot. I told her it was her choice to have a good attitude or a bad attitude but she was going anyway. We left at 6:15 AM and returned at 5:15 PM.

I regularly tell my daughter how beautiful she is and I tell my wife how beautiful she is in front of my daughter. I wan them hearing those words from me and not some stranger they don't know. Love must be perfected in the home.

My daughter makes me proud to be her dad. She is in the ninth grade and shares her faith. Her first speech in speech class was to share some things about her. She shared why she liked Christian music. We talk about ways to share our faith especially those who won't agree. She asks about how to respond to certain questions she has been asked. When she talked about being a Christian in speech she immediately found out who the Christian kids were in class. We have never talked about how she must share her faith. She does it though. We must let our children wrestle with God. If we never allow them to struggle we will never help them to learn. We will also never help them to learn from their mistakes.

We cannot force someone to do something they do not want to do but we can help them to make wise choices. As parents we must guide our children. At times they will want to do their own thing even after we have given them wise counsel. So we must let them make mistakes so they will learn and grow.

When my daughter was about five we were walking through a parking lot on a cold day. I told her that she should take her hands and arms from underneath her coat. I told her why she should and yet she did not. A few minutes later she tripped in the lot and fell. She hit her face on the ground. She has never done that again. I didn't need to give her a lecture or tell her "I told you so." She knew. We point out to her mistakes we make and how we should have maybe listened better or did more homework first.

As parents sometimes we just need to loosen up a little. We need to have fun with them. We need to think about what we would appreciate. Would we care to be treated the way we treat them? We must talk with our kids and help them make wise choices just like it talks about in Deut. 6. We must guide them but not force our decisions on them. We talk about how she goes to church with us now and how she will have to make that decision on her own someday.

The first time she mentioned she wanted to sleep in and not go to church we told her that was fine and we were leaving at the time we told her. We closed the door and went to the car. She came running out saying she wanted to go. So we told her to hurry and we would wait. That has never happened again. I think often times parents create more rebellion by creating more resistance.

Several years ago I had a great student that wanted to do something on his piece of furniture even after I told him it would not work. He insisted so I told him, "You heard what I said," But he went on to do his own thing and failed. That kept him from taking his piece of furniture from being judged. I knew he would win if it had been there. He learned one of life's lessons. Two weeks from the end of school one year I dropped two students from class with an "F" after I told them several times that I would if they did not get to work. After class that day I went to the office and dropped them. One of them was my best student in the previous class. He came to me to talk. He told me wouldn't be able to graduate unless he had that class. I told him that he would have to learn one of life's lessons. Six months later that same student came to see me at my home. He didn't graduate from high school and went to the junior college. He did well there.

We must help those under our care to learn life's lessons and not just a bunch of rules and regulations. We must teach them to make wise decisions and be disciplined. But it all starts with the parent. The apple does not fall far from the tree. When I had a problem with a student almost in every case I had an even problem with the parents. When the parents supported me their child learned. Everybody makes mistakes but we must take responsibility for our mistakes and be humble.