Money Question

Discussion in '2004 Archive' started by luvnlife33, Jul 10, 2004.

  1. luvnlife33

    luvnlife33
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    Hello all,
    Let me give just a brief background - first I am a woman who gave up a good job, because God told me to. No one in my family is a Christian except me, my husband and boys. So pretty much everyone thinks I am crazy especially my mother. She works with a boss who she says - can quote almost every scripture and supposedly lives it as well, however - he developed a CD about finances using over 2000 verses from the Bible. I am so confused, I told her that we all have different God given personalities. She still tells me that I have made the wrong decision about my job, and these people act as if they are better because they are Christians and is turning my mother against it. What can I do? How can I tell her that eventhough there are scriptures about money in the Bible it is not to be focused on more than being obedient. HELP!!!!! :(
     
  2. amixedupmom

    amixedupmom
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    Luv,
    This is the biggest problem with being a Christian, and the Lord speaking to you. Not everyone agrees in what the Lord is saying to you. If the Lord told you to quit and be a mom, by all means DO it. Don't let anyone else take your eyes off where God is leading you hun. If you do your living for those people and not the Lord. As long as your husband, dosen't have a problem with it, your being obedient. You mom and you can simply ... Agree to disagree. Afterall, she dosen't have to answer what you do in your adult life, but you most certianly do. PM me if you need to i'm a stay a home mom myself with 4 girls ranging between 10 and 2. And, I once worked and was called to come home and take care of my family. While my husbad at first didn't understand, he grew to love me being home and now wouldn't have it any other way. Everyone else, -shrugs- either support or don't.

    Take care,

    Wendy
     
  3. Gina B

    Gina B
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    Smile and nod, occasionally twitch, and say "yes, I'm a bit crazy, but Jen (cause that's what I call myself when I'm me) might not agree."
    Then ask if she has any Pepsi. [​IMG]
    Gina
     
  4. luvnlife33

    luvnlife33
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    Thanks you guys, my husband and I were in total agreement. He left it up to me and told me that he would support any decision I made. I made more money than him and it was hard to let such a chunk of money go. But I knew in my heart that I was supposed to stay home, (I call that experience my personal leap of faith). Our money is now extremely tight, and its okay. My mother being materialistic and working with "Christians" who hoard money is very confused. She is not saved and I think feels insulted by having her daughter 'know' more than she does. It is hard, I have told her that I love her and want her to go to heaven and that this life is but a second to not worry, but she can't let go.... any advise? [​IMG]
     
  5. Pastor J

    Pastor J
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    Be careful not to nag. My family was saved after my sister and I. It took a lot of prayer and simply living like a Christian, before my parents would even listen. After my mom got saved, she nagged my dad. It only pushed him away. Once she stopped nagging, he started to come around and 13 years ago at the age of 58, he got saved. Pray for her. Take the opportunities that present themselves and use discernment as to when to stop. Your husband may be able to talk to her better also.
     
  6. luvnlife33

    luvnlife33
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    Thanks J. We are at a point where financially we are completely relying on God, and they can't understand that. I have watched my tongue to make sure that I was being gentle, and I have let her 'vent' to me even (which my husband doesn't like), yet still I have remained firm in my beliefs and have even told her that it is okay, she doesn't have to understand, and that she doesn't have to 'trust' me but she can 'trust' that I trust in the Lord. Yet she keeps saying hurtful things - and I try to dismiss it as she is my Mom - but it still hurts. I NEVER nag her, I am definetly trying to lead by love (glad to hear about your Dad) - the devil is making her feel inferior not me. My mom is an unhappy, empty person..I don't know how to help her anymore than what I have... :(
     
  7. Pastor J

    Pastor J
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    At this point only God can convince her of her need of salvation. Once she is saved, she will understand. Keep praying for her.
     
  8. Thankful

    Thankful
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    I guess I don't understand how this is wrong.

    Luvn, most mothers are very concerned about their children and their finances. They do not want them to suffer. They want them to not have to worry about money for bills, food, lodging, etc. Perhaps this is your mother's concern. I would suggest that you do not get into a debate with your mother about your quitting your job to stay home with your children.

    Just let her know that at this point in your life, your children come first and then live a Christian example. Your example will be a witness for her. You cannot be responsible for her boss or her feelings.
     
  9. Johnv

    Johnv
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    The first question I would ask is: Are you putting yourself in a position of financial irresponsibility by leaving your job? FOr example, if you finance a car, and then wilfully quit work, leaving you with an inability to meet your financial obligation to pay off the car, then I'd agree with you mother. However, this doesn't appear to be the case. If your purpose is to take care of the home and children, and you've discussed this with your husband, and he's in agreement, then you're not wrong to do so.

    There are many things in life that are not right/wrong decisions. For example, deciding what color shoes to buy. Some, however, are convinced that only their decision is the correct one. If you buy black shoes, your mother may well think that you were wrong to buy black, and that the right decision would have been to buy brown shoes. She'll say that you were wrong in buying black shoes, when in reality, it's not a right/wrong issue.

    This may well be an issue of you deciding what shoes to buy. If it is, then your mother is wrong, and your decision is right, especially when you feel that this is the decision that God wants for you.
     
  10. menageriekeeper

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    Sometimes you have to be a duck and let things roll off of you.

    Just reassure your mother that you appreciate her concern but you are okay. Do NOT let her insult your husband. Change the subject when she does or if you are on the phone end the conversation. Just listening to someone that was in such an authorative position tell you bad things about you husband can have a chilling effect on your marriage. You begin to doubt, 'what if she's right? Am I missing something?'

    I believe in seeing things realistically and taking care that your husband is not using you for some evil purpose (ie abuse) and sometimes that means seeing things from another perspective. So if you have friends who are saying the same things you might want to have a second look at where you are in your marriage.

    That said, constantly listening to your mother insulting your husband when you know these things aren't true lets in the possibility that you will begin to doubt your husbands motives. He may also see your listening to her as you doubting him now even though you are not.

    I've been there, to this day my husband can't stand the sight of my mother because of things she said and did early in our relationship. I also began to doubt my husband(he was my fiance at this point) until I asked around and talked to my brother and close friends and began to realize that what my mother was doing was just another in a long series of attempts to control me because she was unable to control herself. Because my father supported my mothers attempts to interfere in my marriage there have been times where we have had to totally cut off contact with them. Even now my husband says nothing to them at all except on Christmas.

    Her interference in my brothers marriage has caused their family to completely cut contact even on Christmas with no sign of reconciliation forthcoming.
     
  11. luvnlife33

    luvnlife33
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    began to realize that what my mother was doing was just another in a long series of attempts to control me because she was unable to control herself.

    THIS IS SOOOO TRUE --- (sorry it took so long to respond)... but it is true... she is miserable and unhappy....in her life, her marriage everything... she can't even understand a marriage is a team, that we are one.... she thinks that I am still the independent woman that I was when I was single... it is awful... she can't control anything in her life and she wants to control me, my husband and my life... I am 33 years old!!!!!

    :rolleyes:
     
  12. rufus

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    Show her and then maybe you can tell her!
     

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