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Multiples, multiples, multiples!

Discussion in 'General Baptist Discussions' started by rbell, May 24, 2007.

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  1. rbell

    rbell Active Member

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    OK Gang...this ain't in the youth forum--thought I'd put it in a more active one...so mods, if you move it, I understand.

    I must attract multiples. I have served in 20 years of ministry (mostly paid, a couple volunteer, and a couple of summer missions stints) 8 churches.

    Every one of them, during my time there, had at least one set of twins. Current church is no exception.

    However, I'm about to have a hands-full situation. I have some upcoming 7th graders that are triplets. They're very active, all boys.

    Furthermore, there's a good chance a family is moving in soon to our area in a few months. They must be really sharp...they've been making appointments and talking to area ministers about their churches (obviously a church home is a very high priority. They have quads. No, not thigh muscles...quadruplets. Two boys, two girls.

    This is uncharted territory for me. Obviously, I should love all of them, and treat them as separate individuals and not "the triplets" or "the quads." But outside of that...
    • Any of you people have experience in this area?
    • Do you have any further suggestions?
    Another thing: I try to be very sensitive regarding the cost of our events. But with multiples in a group, even a $20 event (such as what we're doing Friday) gets expensive for parents (just imagine a $200 camp x 4 kids!)...how early is too early to approach the money issue, so that I can offer my assistance if needed?

    Thanks in advance.
     
    #1 rbell, May 24, 2007
  2. SBCPreacher

    SBCPreacher Active Member
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    Sounds like you might be in for some "fun."

    As for the $$ issues. We have asked our senior adult classes to sponsor those who don't have the means to go to camp or other events. They have always been gracious to provide. you might want to give them a try.

    Or, you can tell them that if they don't provide the funds, the these triplets or quads will be spending that week at their house! That might be just the "encouragement" they need!

    Hope it goes well!
     
    #2 SBCPreacher, May 24, 2007
  3. tinytim

    tinytim <img src =/tim2.jpg>

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    I also have had the honor of working with multiples...
    Tripletts, twins.. never quads though...
    And let me tell you, each one is very different from their siblings.
    To me, I never treated them as "the twins" I treated them as Benny, Bobby, Johnia, Jenny, Jessica, Donna, Mary.

    I don't know, I just never thought of them as multiples when I was ministering to them.. each one responded to me differently. Some I was closer to, but I still loved each one the same.

    There was that one time when Jenny and Jessica (identicals) decided to play a trick on me by pretending to be each other!! That was fun.
    .
    .
    .
    For them!!!

    As for the money situation...
    Make sure you have in place a procedure from the church to help pay for needs if they arise...
    But this is not just with multiples...
    I have a family with 5 children. (no multiples)
    And I am conscience of cost when we plan things...

    I am sure your church has in place a way to help parents pay for trips, camps, etc... But if it doesn't, work on that, and then let the parents know up front what you have available for them...

    For instance, I am one of our association's youth camp directors this year.
    Because of the donations from the churches (8 in our association)... we can allow children to go to camp for only $35...
    But even at that, a low income family with 3 or more kids is going to have a hard time...

    So, in our church, we pay for all member's children, or if the child is a member...We pay the whole $35

    If they are not a member, or their family is not a member, they have to pay, but if they can't afford it, we have sponsorships from other members that will cover their costs...

    And then I have already talked to our leaders, and if we even run out of sponsorships, the church will cover them anyway...

    There is no way I would tell a child they couldn't go to camp because their parents couldn't afford it.... I would pay for them myself first.

    I know this is not much help, but it has been my experience...

    Just love them as individuals, and all will fall in place...
    And with your heart rbell, I know you will.
     
    #3 tinytim, May 24, 2007
  4. rbell

    rbell Active Member

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    Good thoughts.

    Here's our prinicples regarding scholarships & fundraising:

    We do very little fundraising at my church, but there are some occasions. Here are my student ministry's "fundraising principles:"
    • We do not engage in "nothing for something" fundraising. In other words, I'm not gonna ask you to buy a teeny box of candy for $5. If that's my MO, I'm just gonna ask for $5. We try to provide something folks can use, and not be predatory in our pricing. For our Canada mission trip (about 60 high-schoolers going), we're selling camp stew. It's excellent stew, and we'll sell 1300-1500 quarts, and make about $70-90 per kid. For the same reason, I tend to stay away from pledge-based "thon's"--rock-a-thons, etc. They don't usually benefit anyone. The only time I've done these is when we did a "rake-a-thon" or "clean-a-thon" for our community or some needy folks within.
    • (for kids & families) If you want to receive a fundraiser's benefits, you must fulfill all requirements spelled out. Absolutely no exceptions.
    • If there are donations & scholarships for needy kids, I operate "double blind:" no kid will know who helped them, and no adult will know who they helped.
    • We work through our church leadership. No fundraising is done--ever--without permission.
    • We will be economical. I'm not wasting my time gathering 40 kids to each work 4 hours to collectively earn $320 at a carwash. That's $2/hour/kid. Our camp stew requires about 4 hours of work per child, and they will earn roughly $20/hour. Much better.
    • I'm blessed to serve a church that believes in investing in its students. Some churches hamstring their kids by not budgeting enough for them to carry out their ministries.
    • I don't fundraise or scholarship for Six Flags...but rather for minsitry/missions, and for events that are spiritually focused.
    I've been known to occasionally break my rule regarding scholarships for a pure "fun and games" event. Sometimes (not always...) I would feel burdened that the kid needed to have a day away. Or maybe we really needed to talk, and it gave me an opportunity to do so. But when I break that rule, then I pay for the kid's way out of my pocket (they don't know that and never will).

    Dunno if I could make that happen with triplets or quads, though...I'm not a senior pastor with a 6 figure income like SBCPreacher or TinyTim. :laugh:

    Actually, I have a seven figure income!!! That doggone decimal point's just too far to the left...
    [​IMG]

    It'll be fun, that's for sure.
     
    #4 rbell, May 24, 2007
  5. Servent

    Servent Member

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    We had twin girls know 26, One of the twins had twins, ther are very much there own person, They also are a lot alike sometime finishing each others sentences. Good luck
    :tonofbricks: :godisgood:
     
    #5 Servent, May 24, 2007
  6. tinytim

    tinytim <img src =/tim2.jpg>

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    Six figures huh...

    Maybe with 2 of those figures behind a decimal point!
    Have fun...

    And I am praying for you bro!
     
    #6 tinytim, May 24, 2007
  7. StraightAndNarrow

    StraightAndNarrow Active Member

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    I am an identical twin. I would only reinforce the recommendation that you treat twins, triplets, etc. as individuals. I believe it's more difficult for twins to develop as individuals. Constantly being referred to as "the twins" doesn't help. As they get older, they really are different and should be treated as such.
     
    #7 StraightAndNarrow, May 24, 2007
  8. menageriekeeper

    menageriekeeper Active Member

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    LOL! 4 kids are 4 kids, it doesn't matter a whole lot if they are all the same age!

    I only have 3 (that's plenty!). Money is always an issue. Church trips are not. If we can't afford it, they don't go, life does NOT end. End of issue.

    $200 for a week at camp. :eek: I have a friend who can't afford groceries. Can I justify $600 to send my kids to camp when she and her kids may be doing without necessities? (btw, my church does Crosspoint and Mfuge which are significantly more than $200 a week. Even if I didn't have a needy friend, I can't justify that.)

    Just like any other parent who has more than one child, parents of multiples already have things figured out, they've been dealing with these issues since their kids were born. If they need help, they'll ask for it. (though just the offer of help would probably be much appreciated, even if it wasn't needed)
     
    #8 menageriekeeper, May 24, 2007
  9. TaterTot

    TaterTot Guest

    We have lots of multiples at our church too. There are 2 adults set and 2 child sets, and a set of identical triplets. And we only run about 55 in SS.

    I teach a set at school, and they love being called the twins. They tricked me once too and did the swap but I busted em.

    I love watching how twins interract, but they are so different!

    As for the funding, I say invite the church members to give some scholarships or let kids work for pay.
     
    #9 TaterTot, May 24, 2007
  10. I Am Blessed 24

    I Am Blessed 24 Active Member

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    On the camping trips, etc. We have very large families in our church and their is a family limit on expenses. It is so much for each child up to three children. If there is more than three children in the family, they pay the 'family fee'. Our church makes up the difference.

    We have two sets of twins right now. One set is young and one set is adult. One of the younger set was born deaf so the whole church learned sign language.

    Just because they look alike does NOT mean they act alike...
     
    #10 I Am Blessed 24, May 25, 2007
  11. Servent

    Servent Member

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    Depending on the size of the church, Do a fund raiser,for the past 3 years we have done a Bar B Que / auction, this year one hand made quilt sold for $1,150 paid for all we spent on food and everone goes to camp, most of the time we send between 100 & 150 kids
     
    #11 Servent, May 25, 2007
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