My Daughter in CULT! Help!

Discussion in 'Free-For-All Archives' started by vernab, Feb 1, 2003.

  1. vernab

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    I pray some of you here can help me some how..??

    I just don't know what to do. I am afraid my daughter has joined some kind of cult. I need prayer and advice.

    Please forgive me if I write this and it is confusing to read, I am somewhat rattled right now.

    Our family have always been Baptist, my late husband was a pastor for 19 years. My daughter was in church literally the Sunday after birth! After my husbands death 5 years ago my daughter and I moved to a small community in Kansas where my mother lived and a new job awaiting me in her clothing store. My daughter was 16 at the time. For the last 5 years we have attended a small Baptist Church here. After graduating high school my daughter left home to attend a Baptist Bible College.

    Like other Christmas's before; she came home for school break. A few days after coming home an old high school friend and her leave for what I figured was just a day of hanging out, shopping, etc. When my daughter arrives home late that evening she is extremely excited about what she exclaims is a "revelation from God" that she has received! She then tells me about the day she spent with her friend at a meeting with a group that calls themselves the Ekklesia of Jesus Christ. She tells me she has encountered "the truth" and that I should go and meet with this group! She says she is going back the next morning which is a Sunday, I am a little upset because I thought she would attend church with me as usual. About a week passes with her continuing to go every day to these meetings. I try to caution her a couple times but she assures me that these people are simply Christians that desire to live totally for Christ in obedience and truth.

    As time passed I was thankful knowing she would soon return to school and would be far away from all that was going on. A strange feeling for me to have, I usually begin feeling somewhat sad that she is about to leave. Anyway, I ask her if she was beginning to think about get ready for school. Then she really shocks me.... "I'm not going back mom!" she said. "WHAT" I say. She then says that Bible Colleges are evil institutions and that education will not be her idol. She pleads with me to listen to all these strange ideas this group has been putting into her head and says she is going to stay with them and wants me to join her. I reject what she says and she leaves.

    I have not seen her now for 3 weeks. She calls once a week, the conversation is short. She invites me to come attend a meeting if I want to see her. She tells me she loves me but she cannot be unequally yoked with me, that I am in an apostate church and that I need to "Come out from among them and be separate". I don't know what to do,

    I went to my pastor and he said he had heard of the group and that he knew others were reacting to their families the same way. I asked if he thought I should go to one of the meetings she asks me to and try to figure out what's going on or try to persuade her to leave. He said I should not, but I just don't know what to do, I love her and why should I fear going to a meeting, I don't know what to do...????
     
  2. TaterTot

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    Hi, Verna, and welcome to the BaptistBoard. It sounds like you have a very touchy situation. I am so sorry you are having to go through this - and without the help and support of your husband. I think I would be tempted, like you, to go and see my daughter - even at a meeting. I am a pastor's wife too, and I can imagine the pain you feel over your daughter leaving what you and your husband have worked so hard to teach her. Please know that you and your daughter are in my prayers.
    TaterTot
    PS There is a Welcome thread - its second on my page - and if you go there, lots of people will give you a nice warm welcome!!!
     
  3. Gina B

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    Verna, there is a brand new website which you may want to ask this question on, as it deals with cults. It was started by Evangelist Tim Lee and here is the link: Cult Free
    It is owned by Christians burdened for this ministry. The membership as of right now is small, but composed of mainly good strong Christians who have broken free of cults or dealt with them.
    Gina
     
  4. Sherrie

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    Hi Verna! I am wondering...have you talked to any kind of authorities in her area or area of the cult? Such as Poice, FBI, Sheriff, etc. Have you talked to the college to see who else was recruited?

    I am surprised your Pastor is not offering some kind of suport in Prayer or even in guideness to you. Contact relatives to help, and actually go in and get her and rehabilitat the brain washing.

    I am praying.

    Sherrie
     
  5. atestring

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    I looked at their website and they do look strange.

    I am careful in using the word "Cult" because some people use this term to mean a group that does not agree with them. If a person uses the word "Cult" constantly then the word looses its effective meaning when a real cult is out there.

    But this group seems to be one of those groups that will only associate with people in this group and does not acknowledge the the fellowship of Members of the Body of Christ. They are not asking Christians to accept them but are trying to come across as the only Christians which from looking at their website they could not convince me that they are Christians at all. Their purpose does not seem to be to lift up Jesus but to lift up their own philosophy and they use the Bible to try to do it.

    The Holy Spirit is called the "Spirit of Truth" and the Holy Spirit leads us into all truth.
    As you call out to God for your daughter in faith know that God cares about you and your daughter.

    You will definitely be in my prayers.
     
  6. Ben W

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    I do not want to go against the advice of your pastor, but I once listened to a psycologist speak on this. He said one of the worst things to do is to critisize the group, you shouls actually go along to their meetings and ask your daughter a number of questions about why they do the things that they do, through your questioning, not seemingly critisizing you may open her eyes. What the organisers of Cults want to happen is to place a wedge between families and their children. By having a seeming interest, but yet with no commitment to them, It can throw a spanner in the works.

    Cult Aware are an active ministry in this area in Australia. Maybe they are represented in the U.S? You need to speak to an exit counsellor on a regular basis to resolve this. Most people do not remain in cults there whole lives, over 90% of converts to cults do leave, that is why there is so many different ones. The Worldwide Church of God was considered a cult, whenit broke up over the acceptance of the Trinity, Several new cults were spawned.

    Please get in touch with an exit counsellor, I will be praying for you also.
     
  7. Margie Kritzer

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    I agree with Ben on this one. Criticizing the group will drive her to it. She needs you and your involvement.

    Go and hear what she is hearing, unless you feel that you TOO are susceptible. Find out if this group is encouraging their membership to break away from families. Find out how subtle or obvious the misleading is...so that you are informed. Then let her know how much you love, value and trust her, and that you want her to stay in your life. Let her know that it's ok for her to pursue her own truth, and it's ok for you to hold on to your own.

    As for school, that's a big shock. Who was paying for it? I think it would be ok to set a limit and let her decide, for example, "I'll pay for four years of college." (Not "I'll pay for you to get your degree"). She might blow it by sacrificing the credits she already has, but at least you won't be responsible for her catching up later. Perhaps the practical decisions that you are forced to make may have an impact. Or not. But you have to take care of yourself, too.

    And of course, pray. You don't have to fix this problem. This experience is uniquely hers.
     
  8. Lauren

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    ((((((((((((verna)))))))))))))) this is a tough situation. I have never heard of this particular group before. I dont have any advice but I am praying for you and your daughter. Someone suggested you see her even at one of her meetings. That sounds like it might be a good idea at the least it will give you a close up idea of what this group is up to and it may bring you closer to your daughter. may the Lord be with you and yours......
    peace-Lauren
     
  9. Charlotte Marcel

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    I was reading your post and feel your concern. Doesn't "eglesia" mean church in spanish? I noticed that you spell it different. I was just wondering if the "cult" that you mention isn't the "church of Christ" It's just that the name seems to be very close to that. I don't mean to underplay how you are feeling but don't baptist churches say the same things about any religion outside of baptist? Maybe it's not as serious as you think. I'm sorry, I don't want to add any other upset to how you feel. I could be completely off base. I'm just wondering if it may not actually be a cult but just another church that thinks any belief outside what they believe is false.

    I hope that all will turn out alright and that you will get the answers you need out of this situation from God. May the Lord be with you to quiet your fears, and bring unity back to your family.

    editted because of spelling error.

    [ February 03, 2003, 03:43 PM: Message edited by: Charlotte Marcel ]
     
  10. rsr

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    No, it's not the Campbellites.

    From what I know it's something completely different, and she has a right to be afraid. Notice that they spell it "ekklesia," which is not the common English spelling for "gathering" or "assembly."

    I'm not sure what to make of this group, but IMHO, Margie is right. The daughter is at the stage of rebellion; to cross her on this is to drive her away.
     
  11. TaterTot

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    no - it means "the called out ones" in greek. I think you are thinking of "iglesia" - Spanish for "church"
     
  12. rsr

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    "Ecclesia" is the Greek word translated "church" in most English Bibles.
     
  13. Charlotte Marcel

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    Sorry, I have a hard enough time spelling correctly in my own language. Thank you for correcting me, I knew it didn't look right. ;)
     
  14. Walls

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    I wanted to address these issues that have been brought forth.

    1. I do believe that we should live in total obedience to Christ.

    2. I do think that college/univerisity or any form of public schools do more harm than good. (Bible/Christian ones included)

    3. According to Webster's apostate is one who forsakes his religion, principles, cause, etc. There are many churches who have become liberal and allowed things in their buildings that would support the term apostate church.

    4. I say AMEN to the come out from among them and be ye seperate. [​IMG]

    I would definetly check it out. The only thing that bothers me is that if they teach total obedience, then your daughter should be at home until she weds. Honour thy father and mother is clearly repeated in the Bible and regardless of anything else she is under your authority until she marries. Use this in support of your position. She needs to be home under your watchcare and then if you allow she can associate with this other group. ;)
     
  15. Charlotte Marcel

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    Does a 21 year old daughter still have to adhere to being under a parent's authority? I understand "honoring" and "being submissive to the authority of" are not necessarily the same thing. This isn't a child we are discussing. 21 years old is commonly considered an adult by most standards. What if she decides to never marry, or to marry when she is 30 or 40? Should she still live by her parents authority?

    I'm sorry, I don't mean to sound unsympathetic to the mother in this situation. But at some point you have to hope that your child will take all your lessons that you taught during her childhood to heart and apply them to their own belief system. But you also at some point have to realize that an adult has to make their own decisions about faith in God. I'm a mother too, and I know that that part of parenting is probably the hardest, the transition from being in control, to letting go.
     
  16. Walls

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    Ge 2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
    Mt 19:5 And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?
    Mr 10:7 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife;
    Eph 5:31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.

    A man should not leave home until he weds. Then why would God want a young unmarried girl out in the world without godly coveture. A woman is either under her parents or under her husband. There is no middle ground. She is the weaker vessel. This is God's plan. You are looking at this through mans and societies eyes, not God's.

    I know of many young ladies still at home and in their mid 20's. They pursue further education via correspondence. They take missionary trips. They sit for the elderly. They do many things but still under their parents authority and they are patiently waiting for the man God would have to be their husband. Not out playing the field in a Bible college somewhere.

    I will end there as this is subject matter for another thread.
     
  17. AITB

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    What about Jesus? What about Paul the Apostle?

    They weren't living with their parents! [​IMG]

    What do you mean by a 'missionary trip' for a young woman? Do you mean she goes somewhere with her parents?

    Why do you equate Bible College with 'playing the field'? Maybe some people go there to get an education.

    Speaking for myself, I think you are confusing what was cultural, centuries ago, with what God requires. But, I suppose you will respond that you are convinced the Word of God requires the lifestyle for unmarried men and women that you wrote about.

    Helen/AITB
     
  18. Walls

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    I can't say for Paul. But I know that Christ was always under the authority of His Father and it wasn't until the cross that His Father left Him.

    Yes people may go to college to get an education, but they come out having education in areas they should have never been exposed.
     
  19. Helen

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    The truth of the matter is that all young adults are going to push away to some extent, great or small, from their parents and their parents' belief systems. We all, like Jacob, must wrestle with God as young adults.

    This is a scary world to live in right now. The kids know it. Often cults will offer a false sense of protection and isolation in which they feel insulated from the fears of the world.

    We read in 1 John that perfect love casts out all fear. This is a key verse in understanding what is going on. The opposite of fear, biblically, is love. Not the emotion, but the commitment and caring. Emotions just tag along for the ride... [​IMG]

    And as a young person emerges out from a parental care and into the world (which is going to happen whether or not they stay at home or go to college or whatever, for their brains are finally mature after 20 years -- and NOT before, by the way!), the world no longer seems a place of endless possibilities but rather a world of threat and fear. It is very, very common for the reaction to be to seek a place to hide in some way or another -- an early and eventually unsatisfactory marriage, a cult, eyebrow-deep in work, or whatever. Some kids stay in college forever, first as students, then as grad students, then as post-docs, then as professors, for this very reason: it insulates them from the world and they are secure and respected in their own little niche. Some people do this with whatever church they belong to, or adopt a set of rules which hem them in, giving them also a false sense of security.

    None of these work. The only remedy for the fear we feel when we look at the world and what is happening is Christ Himself.

    So, first of all, this young lady was reared knowing Christ was real and present. That is a huge plus. Secondly, she has immersed herself into some kind of cult -- and cult it is, no doubt about that! Why? Fear. That is why most people do most things, actually. What is she afraid of? Probably the world 'out there.' But maybe God Himself.

    And rightfully so, in both cases, truth be told.

    But she has a mother praying for her. She knows the Bible stories. She knows about the Jesus of the Bible. God will call her to wrestle with Him soon, I think.

    Keep praying, Mom, and know that God loves her far more than you ever could, as hard as that is to imagine. Right now I have 'lost' three of my six children to the world in one way or another. But I look at their ages -- 26, 23, and 20 -- and I know enough now to smile and wait. They were raised knowing the truth and knowing the Bible. They were raised by me, and know what loving and following the Lord means.

    In the meantime, I have a 29 year old who is a firm and committed Christian, an 18 year old who, seeing the older ones, seems to have already done some wrestling with God and is -- at least at this point -- firmly commited to the Christian faith, and another 18 year old who is profoundly retarded and safe in Christ's care forever.

    I'm learning that prayer and patience leave room open for God's miracles and keep me out of the way. They are adults now. One -- the 26 year old -- is calling home frequently now since his life fell apart. He's on his way home spiritually. I'm sure of it.

    And the others? I have to leave them to God, really, and not let it break my heart. It's tons harder when there is only one child and you are a widow. I have a hard time imagining that. But when she calls, love her, tell her you miss her and that you are praying for her, and try not to get 'mushy' and teary. Save your tears for after the call.

    And look to Christ in this storm. It's the only way to walk on water in stormy OR calm seas!

    He loves her. He is doing what needs to be done in her heart -- you can count on that.

    Hang on, dear lady. God knows. And He is faithful always.
     
  20. Thankful

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    Walls, Are you going to start another thread about single adults staying at home and the value of education?

    As to this thread, I have nothing to contribute except encouragement to this mother. We are praying for you and your precious daughter. You have trained her in the way that she should go and we will pray that she realizes that this is a cult with false teachings.
     

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